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Sunday 11 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, as my girlfriend and I were finishing up a romantic dinner, she gazed into my eyes for a moment and said, "You know, sometimes you look like a character from Sesame Street." FML

#20153942
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16253) - you deserved it (1724)

On 11/07/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by derve - United States

Today, I looked over to see my grandfather looking thoughtfully at me. Feeling flattered because he rarely shows affection, I waved at him. He then said, "I was looking out the window" and continued to stare past my head out of the window. FML

#20150050
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16035) - you deserved it (1655)

On 11/06/2012 at 2:59am - misc - by Unappreciated Grandchild - United States (Maryland)

Today, after working out and feeling really confident, I entered a mixed wrestling competition. My first match was against a woman who was over a foot taller than me. She managed to easily lift me over her head and toss me out of the ring within seconds. Confidence: gone. FML

#20160946
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15842) - you deserved it (6675)

On 11/12/2012 at 8:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that no matter how hot and exhausted you are, being blasted in the face with a high pressure hose is always more painful than refreshing. FML

#20165112
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14622) - you deserved it (9002)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill. It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them. She's in her teens. FML

#20167023
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14451) - you deserved it (22880)

On 11/17/2012 at 5:31pm - kids - by susan (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my best friend told me that I wasn't invited to her wedding, saying that I was too pretty and that I would outshine her at the ceremony. I laughed and said that she was being ridiculous. She eventually confessed the real reason why I wasn't invited: apparently I'm an annoying bitch. FML

#20152648
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13445) - you deserved it (21668)

On 11/07/2012 at 2:31am - misc - by no cake for me (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while at work, a customer gave me a $20 tip. I explained to him we aren't allowed to accept tips, but he insisted. When I called the manager to report it, he pocketed my tip. FML

#20157115
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12340) - you deserved it (26015)

On 11/10/2012 at 2:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up and looked over to see the "beautiful girl" I slept with last night. Turns out it was the obsessive girl from my class with a man-face I had avoided all semester. In conclusion, beer goggles are very real and very powerful. FML

#20149916
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11028) - you deserved it (40761)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:15am - intimacy - by coolguy (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I put on a shirt that said "skilled in every position." My boyfriend took one look and said, "since when?" FML

#20167475
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9564) - you deserved it (25693)

On 11/18/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML

#20164153
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9177) - you deserved it (42775)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I paid a locksmith $100 after I locked myself out of my apartment. All he did was hit it, and it flung open. It wasn't locked, it'd just got stuck. FML

#20153207
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8949) - you deserved it (19751)

On 11/07/2012 at 10:00am - money - by stuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I bought an $80, "invincible" phone case. One test drop later, my phone had turned into an expensive paperweight. FML

#20161826
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8626) - you deserved it (29769)

On 11/13/2012 at 1:24pm - money - by bummed and broke - United States

Today, I discovered both how much I really talk to myself when I'm drinking alone and how thin the walls of my apartment are. I heard my own slurred voice coming from my neighbor's apartment. They had recorded me and made a mixtape of some of the more interesting things I had said. FML

#20162727
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8209) - you deserved it (18705)

On 11/14/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by talker (man) - United States (California)



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