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Sunday 11 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while working at the coffee shop, I had to empty the garbage cans. One of the bags gave way, and all the half-finished cups of coffee spilled all over my uniform. Most customers' orders cost more than I make per hour. FML

#20166731
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18203) - you deserved it (1887)

On 11/17/2012 at 1:35pm - work - by overpriced coffee shop worker - United States (California)

Today, I was told I look like a Simpson. I don't have blond hair, or any of the features of them. So I asked which one. I was told Homer because we both could use Weight Watchers and an education. FML

#20155893
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18164) - you deserved it (3779)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:57am - misc - by Kyle - United States (Georgia)

Today, I bought a new armband to hold my iPhone while working out so I can listen to music and I was excited to start getting in shape. Unfortunately, when I tried it on, my arm was too big and it didn't fit. FML

#20168720
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18054) - you deserved it (6096)

On 11/18/2012 at 10:13pm - health - by joe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was waitressing for a huge family. Their bill was $750. Excited about the tip, I was shocked to see only $0.50. As they were leaving, I threw the two whole quarters at their heads. Guess who also got fired today. FML

#20150831
472 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17987) - you deserved it (42205)

On 11/06/2012 at 5:37pm - work - by Misunderstood Waitress (woman) - United States

Today, I was singing in the shower, when some suds from my shampoo fell into my mouth and down my throat. I retched and sputtered for about two minutes before finally throwing up. FML

#20166301
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17950) - you deserved it (6891)

On 11/17/2012 at 3:45am - health - by woman - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML

#20157652
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17897) - you deserved it (1870)

On 11/10/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by me - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dad put an onion in my room, telling me spirits won't haunt me and that I won't get sick. He thinks a vegetable will protect me. FML

#20163512
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17831) - you deserved it (2320)

On 11/14/2012 at 7:48pm - health - by duhasiangirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was being cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML

#20167613
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17295) - you deserved it (2052)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:04am - misc - by creys - United States

Today, while giving a lecture on gender equality in the workplace, a woman yelled from the back, asking me why I'm not out starting a war somewhere. I stopped talking and tried to pinpoint her in the crowd, which she took as a sign to snort and call me a pussy. Nobody would back me up. FML

#20168119
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17294) - you deserved it (2161)

On 11/18/2012 at 1:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, I had dinner with my grandparents. At the table, my grandfather openly complained about how hard it is for him to get out of their hot tub. Not because of his prosthetic leg, but because his balls somehow "get stuck". I really didn't need to know that. FML

#20159093
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17097) - you deserved it (1315)

On 11/11/2012 at 3:27pm - misc - by Miki13 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as my girlfriend and I were finishing up a romantic dinner, she gazed into my eyes for a moment and said, "You know, sometimes you look like a character from Sesame Street." FML

#20153942
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16938) - you deserved it (1771)

On 11/07/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by derve - United States

Today, after dealing with infidelity in my marriage, I found myself looking for advice. This led me to the comments section of a tabloid article talking about Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson. I'm a 30-year-old man taking marriage advice from a bunch of vampire-obsessed tweens. FML

#20156173
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16878) - you deserved it (5156)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:07am - love - by loser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I looked over to see my grandfather looking thoughtfully at me. Feeling flattered because he rarely shows affection, I waved at him. He then said, "I was looking out the window" and continued to stare past my head out of the window. FML

#20150050
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16825) - you deserved it (1731)

On 11/06/2012 at 2:59am - misc - by Unappreciated Grandchild - United States (Maryland)



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