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Sunday 11 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband surprised me by cooking a romantic dinner. I asked him why the sudden gesture. His response? "The cable was out." FML

#20154549
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21218) - you deserved it (4377)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:49am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was singing in the shower, when some suds from my shampoo fell into my mouth and down my throat. I retched and sputtered for about two minutes before finally throwing up. FML

#20166301
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21177) - you deserved it (7472)

On 11/17/2012 at 3:45am - health - by woman - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML

#20157652
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21150) - you deserved it (2104)

On 11/10/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by me - United States (Oregon)

Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML

#20162883
279 comments

Today, I was told I look like a Simpson. I don't have blond hair, or any of the features of them. So I asked which one. I was told Homer because we both could use Weight Watchers and an education. FML

#20155893
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20761) - you deserved it (4111)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:57am - misc - by Kyle - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dad put an onion in my room, telling me spirits won't haunt me and that I won't get sick. He thinks a vegetable will protect me. FML

#20163512
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20697) - you deserved it (2588)

On 11/14/2012 at 7:48pm - health - by duhasiangirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was being cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML

#20167613
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20596) - you deserved it (2354)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:04am - misc - by creys - United States

Today, while giving a lecture on gender equality in the workplace, a woman yelled from the back, asking me why I'm not out starting a war somewhere. I stopped talking and tried to pinpoint her in the crowd, which she took as a sign to snort and call me a pussy. Nobody would back me up. FML

#20168119
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20517) - you deserved it (2522)

On 11/18/2012 at 1:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, I was waitressing for a huge family. Their bill was $750. Excited about the tip, I was shocked to see only $0.50. As they were leaving, I threw the two whole quarters at their heads. Guess who also got fired today. FML

#20150831
487 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20462) - you deserved it (46907)

On 11/06/2012 at 5:37pm - work - by Misunderstood Waitress (woman) - United States

Today, I had dinner with my grandparents. At the table, my grandfather openly complained about how hard it is for him to get out of their hot tub. Not because of his prosthetic leg, but because his balls somehow "get stuck". I really didn't need to know that. FML

#20159093
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20296) - you deserved it (1587)

On 11/11/2012 at 3:27pm - misc - by Miki13 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after dealing with infidelity in my marriage, I found myself looking for advice. This led me to the comments section of a tabloid article talking about Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson. I'm a 30-year-old man taking marriage advice from a bunch of vampire-obsessed tweens. FML

#20156173
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20056) - you deserved it (5716)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:07am - love - by loser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML

#20164356
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19940) - you deserved it (2322)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, as my girlfriend and I were finishing up a romantic dinner, she gazed into my eyes for a moment and said, "You know, sometimes you look like a character from Sesame Street." FML

#20153942
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19634) - you deserved it (2021)

On 11/07/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by derve - United States



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