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Saturday 10 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my teacher wore a bikini at the pool. She is 68. FML

#20153506
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21847) - you deserved it (3913)

On 11/07/2012 at 1:39pm - work - by Owen - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my older brother thought it would be hilarious to sneak up and scare me in the grocery aisle at the store. I screamed and jumped, knocking half the shelf's contents all over the floor. We're now banned from the only grocery store in town. FML

#20166242
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21817) - you deserved it (2719)

On 11/17/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by sarahhbear - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that last week, the UPS man gave my package to my neighbor for safekeeping. It was over five-hundred dollars' worth of merchandise. My neighbor left for Canada on Saturday. FML

#20160454
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21632) - you deserved it (1548)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:40pm - money - by siciliano12594 - United States (New York)

Today, I started at my first job. Within the first five minutes of arriving, I was followed around by a white guy who repeatedly sang to me, "Black people love making music" along with a few of his own songs. It resulted in me getting fired for bringing my "boyfriend" to work. I didn't even know him. FML

#20163535
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21616) - you deserved it (1606)

On 11/14/2012 at 8:04pm - work - by sarahijklmnop (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was told I will be having twins; this came as a shock since there are no twins in my family. When I asked my mom about it, she said that she wasn't surprised and not to worry about it because she had "absorbed her twin" and that the problem would "take care of itself." FML

#20154574
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21468) - you deserved it (1698)

On 11/08/2012 at 1:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I started dating a seemingly normal guy. Not even four hours into our relationship, he began telling me that he can see spirits, dead people, and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go. FML

#20155774
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21467) - you deserved it (2505)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:53pm - love - by holyshitbatman - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found my sister's wedding book. Inside it was a list of potential grooms; she'd written down all of my ex-boyfriends. And my fiancé. We're getting married in three weeks. FML

#20162804
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21431) - you deserved it (1487)

On 11/14/2012 at 2:46am - love - by he's mine (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I had to buy a new vacuum cleaner. My previous one stopped working, because apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to suck up our puppy's shit from the floor. FML

#20155036
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21319) - you deserved it (2067)

On 11/08/2012 at 2:03pm - love - by 99Problemsandfml - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I noticed my husband was acting moody, and I asked him what was wrong. He replied that he didn't know, so trying to lighten the mood, I facetiously said, "It's 'cause you're stuck with me, isn't it?" He nodded, trundled off, and hasn't shown his face since. FML

#20156759
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21292) - you deserved it (3798)

On 11/09/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after finally falling asleep, my boyfriend woke me up and got extremely mad at me. My offense? My pillow was touching his side of the bed. After yelling at me, he's now sleeping on the couch, and I'm lying in bed wide awake. FML

#20158574
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21260) - you deserved it (2588)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:26am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I paid a surprise visit to my parents, after having moved out for university last year. My room had been stripped bare and all the family photos featuring me were missing from the wall. When I asked why, my mom asked me in return why I was asking stupid questions. FML

#20156480
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21199) - you deserved it (1831)

On 11/09/2012 at 5:03pm - kids - by jan420 (man) - Norway (Ostfold)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML

#20156617
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21183) - you deserved it (2787)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:16pm - health - by dating a fking cnt (man) - Canada

Today, my mother-in-law moved in because she has a hip problem. I don't know what's worse, her constant complaining and slob like tendencies, or the eight cats she brought along with her. FML

#20154544
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21177) - you deserved it (1735)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:43am - misc - by David (man) - United States (Washington)



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