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Saturday 3 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

#20138384
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30509) - you deserved it (1991)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:03am - misc - by StormSeason (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after being a germaphobe for almost ten years and refusing to go out to restaurants because of it, I finally had the courage to face my fear, and went to dinner with my family. After three bites into my salad, I found a dead bug in it. FML

#20150517
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30486) - you deserved it (3139)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend of two years proposed to me. It would have been great if he weren't drunk with a naked girl next to him. FML

#20146861
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30378) - you deserved it (2154)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:50am - love - by bigbum - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had my first orgasm. I also came to the realization that whenever I orgasm I get an uncontrollable case of hiccups for at least half an hour afterwards. FML

#20145633
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30298) - you deserved it (3364)

On 11/03/2012 at 11:52am - intimacy - by hiccups - United States (New York)

Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML

#20154716
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30272) - you deserved it (2366)

On 11/08/2012 at 6:09am - kids - by Shauna (woman) - United States

Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML

#20142562
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30121) - you deserved it (4866)

On 11/01/2012 at 4:20am - kids - by NoSpirit (woman) -

Today, while I was cleaning out my son's room, I came across his diary. Opening it out of curiosity, I found ramblings about how blacks, Jews, and other "inferior breeds" should be forcibly sterilized "for the common good." FML

#20147982
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29807) - you deserved it (9226)

On 11/04/2012 at 9:08pm - misc - by Ugh - United States (California)

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "nope", and walked out. FML

#20148958
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29768) - you deserved it (2578)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29723) - you deserved it (2445)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me by saying, "It's not you, it's me. I have a terrible taste in women." FML

#20140004
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29658) - you deserved it (3058)

On 10/30/2012 at 9:27am - love - by LonelyMe -

Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML

#20140430
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29257) - you deserved it (2790)

On 10/30/2012 at 5:26pm - misc - by rarara - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I found out that my over-controlling parents would be moving in next door. I'm almost 23, and moved 5,365 KM away to get away from them. FML

#20142163
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29222) - you deserved it (1752)

On 10/31/2012 at 9:39pm - misc - by OhLovely (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML

#20156278
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29019) - you deserved it (6894)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Argentina (Buenos Aires)



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