Intimacy, Sex and Cheating: Dude…

Dude…

By Anonymous - 27/01/2017 18:00

Today, I told my girlfriend that I miss the amazing sex life we used to have, as we haven't had sex in months. She accidentally blurted out, "Well, I've still got one." It seems our neighbour has taken over my role in the bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 011

You deserved it 905

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Same thing different taste

Turntables

By Bill Mantie - 18/04/2021 02:00

Today, after months of successfully taking strides to boost my long diminished libido, I found out my girlfriend, who always had a healthy sex drive, has now lost hers. Oh, how the tables have turned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 101

You deserved it 140

By saddened97 - 20/01/2011 09:39 - Australia

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 685

You deserved it 12 887

By rawdoglyfe69 - 17/04/2013 06:14 - United States - Helena

Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 477

You deserved it 6 074

By Anonymous - 19/08/2010 06:32 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend of a year exclaimed "Oh my god!" for the first time during sex. Nope, I haven't improved in bed, I recently moved a TV into my room and something exciting happened on the show she was watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 468

You deserved it 13 730

Stuck in a rut

By Anonymous - 16/04/2020 20:00

Today, I realised my wife has been slowly phasing out most elements of our previously active and inventive sex life. These days, it's missionary once a month or she tells me to whack one off by myself in the bathroom. When did we get so boring? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 064

You deserved it 314

By unsatisfied - 29/11/2010 12:13 - Australia

Today, I was lying in bed listening to my neighbors have loud, and what sounded like, enjoyable sex. My boyfriend rolled over and said, "she sounds like fun" before rolling back over and going to sleep. It's been four months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 639

You deserved it 6 518

Honest

By fml1977 - 04/03/2010 06:43 - United States

Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 367

You deserved it 8 000

By peacexout108 - 08/11/2009 18:16 - United States

Today, my ex told me she still misses having sex with me. Her next text was "but it's still over." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 888

You deserved it 3 358

Snoozefest

By notsogood - 08/11/2013 20:02 - United States

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 533

You deserved it 19 393

Thank God

By Dwarvahkiin - 08/08/2022 02:00

Today, just as we got done having probably the best sex of our relationship, my partner called me her ex's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 185

You deserved it 166

stopthepuck 0

Friday 27 January 2017 18:03

She took love thy neighbor a little too seriously

tosdyke 16

Friday 27 January 2017 18:28

...time for a new girlfriend

Comments

stopthepuck 0

Friday 27 January 2017 18:03

She took love thy neighbor a little too seriously

diisneygirl 2

Friday 27 January 2017 18:04

Ouch. That sucks. Im sorry

RichardPencil 30

Friday 27 January 2017 18:14

I hope you mean EX-... Ugh, I can't do it!

Soninuva 41

Saturday 28 January 2017 0:21

Sure you can; you write stupid and meaningless comments all the time!

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 28 January 2017 3:35

I write creative and meaningful comments. You just don't like them. I don't waste everyone's time with "Aw, I'm sorry," "That sucks," and "I hope you mean ex-girlfriend." You're free to do that -- seems about right for you.

tosdyke 16

Friday 27 January 2017 18:28

...time for a new girlfriend

cootiequeen4444 11

Friday 27 January 2017 18:42

I really hope you are the primary owner of your home. if you consigned it could be messy. And if it is primarily hers than you can't really take my suggestion for a fact unless you like serious repercussions. but I really think that, if were you, I'd probably take all her shit and throw on the curb and tell my cheating twatwaffle of a SO they'd better be quick and get their stuff before they're sharing more than their genitals with the neighbors. Also, I'd tell them good luck on finding a new place and it's a shame all good things must come to an end and my only regret is it wasn't months ago. Bye Felicia. (yes, I can be a petty bitch sometimes. but with a cheater, c could ya blame a person? )

False_Stupidity 41

Friday 27 January 2017 22:38

Maybe she'll move in with the neighbour. Wouldn't that be awkward unless OP has a nice big fence between them.

Isa_fml 20

Friday 27 January 2017 19:08

Sorry to hear that. :( Dump her ass.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 27 January 2017 19:53

I don't think that's necessary. She has beaten him to the punch.

rgetting 24

Friday 27 January 2017 20:26

I doubt her saying she's screwing the neighbor was blurted out accidentally.

Dodge4x4Ram 46

Friday 27 January 2017 22:34

The audacity of her. WOW, you think you know someone & then this happens.

rohan111993 13

Saturday 28 January 2017 20:38

I'm really sorry but I guess the wording of this post makes no sense to me.. how do you infer from that quote that she's cheating with the neighbour or even having sex at all?