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Saturday 3 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up and looked over to see the "beautiful girl" I slept with last night. Turns out it was the obsessive girl from my class with a man-face I had avoided all semester. In conclusion, beer goggles are very real and very powerful. FML

#20149916
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11100) - you deserved it (40913)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:15am - intimacy - by coolguy (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML

#20138170
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10550) - you deserved it (25256)

On 10/29/2012 at 1:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name is not Kate. FML

#20140315
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10392) - you deserved it (70264)

On 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by you (man) - United Kingdom

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

#20139786
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10247) - you deserved it (40650)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while in a pharmacy, I walked over to the shaving cream aisle. I picked up a can to smell it and unknowingly pushed the button, spraying an old guy in front of me. He freaked out and started telling everyone that the ceiling above him was leaking. FML

#20139053
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9252) - you deserved it (14233)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:39pm - misc - by IndianAngel96 - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML

#20147165
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9042) - you deserved it (25608)

On 11/04/2012 at 11:37am - money - by fnfantastic - United States (Indiana)

Today, I paid a locksmith $100 after I locked myself out of my apartment. All he did was hit it, and it flung open. It wasn't locked, it'd just got stuck. FML

#20153207
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8999) - you deserved it (19854)

On 11/07/2012 at 10:00am - money - by stuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after nearly a year of headaches and fuzzy vision, I went to the eye doctor. It turns out I've had my contacts in the wrong eyes for a year. FML

Today, my hair straightener broke. My husband suggested putting electrical tape on it because it was heat proof. I did and started straightening my hair. The supposed heat proof tape melted and got stuck in my hair. FML

#20145539
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8337) - you deserved it (29353)

On 11/03/2012 at 9:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML

Today, I realized why it's a bad idea to store your business cards and your "emergency condom" in the same handbag compartment. I realized this after a client watched me miss the cards and pull out the condom after our lunch meeting. FML

#20144136
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6444) - you deserved it (24245)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:35am - work - by Hornymuch (woman) - Germany

Today, after a week of looking for my car keys and being forced to drag my family around on public transportation, my wife found the keys in our car's ignition. FML

#20142914
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6235) - you deserved it (27156)

On 11/01/2012 at 1:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I bought a new car, and before I left, the dealer offered to help me set up the sync. I agreed, but I really wish I'd remembered that my Bluetooth name is TitsMcGee. FML

#20139648
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5847) - you deserved it (23064)

On 10/30/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by embarassedmuch - United States



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