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Tuesday 30 October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my friend joked to my co-workers that my kitty-cat of a husband was going to beat me for spending $200 on shoes. Later on, my rather large dog was so excited to see me when I walked in the door, he split my lip. Somehow, I don't think they'll believe me when I get to the office tomorrow. FML

#20150093
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19465) - you deserved it (2579)

On 11/06/2012 at 4:32am - work - by iLuvsIt (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML

#20148667
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19245) - you deserved it (1493)

On 11/05/2012 at 9:02am - misc - by liquorless (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my company had a Halloween party. I was so excited seeing as our company never does anything, so I pulled out all the stops with my costume. I was the only one who got dressed up. FML

#20144153
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19165) - you deserved it (2695)

On 11/02/2012 at 8:17am - work - by PieterseMJ - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was reading a book in public. Some bastard stranger came over and started spoiling the plot for me. FML

#20148752
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19135) - you deserved it (1759)

On 11/05/2012 at 10:58am - misc - by Spoilicious - Singapore

Today, I started my new job as the only IT tech for my office. My first task: untangling the hundred mice the previous tech tied together for "fun". FML

#20150513
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18752) - you deserved it (1332)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

#20142866
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18727) - you deserved it (3122) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)

Today, to help me get over my crippling social anxiety, my therapist encouraged me to sing in front of a crowd, since I actually have a fine singing voice. I ended up fainting onstage, mid-song. FML

#20146765
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18716) - you deserved it (1711)

On 11/04/2012 at 2:28am - misc - by Chuffy (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before I could smash it, it escaped under the door. Now I'm freaked out and wearing boots and gloves, clutching at my kittens and waiting for it to appear. My dad laughs everytime he walks past. FML

#20141607
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18530) - you deserved it (3730)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:09pm - animals - by NotSpiderman (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was complimented for having amazingly lifelike warts as part of my witch costume, and was asked how I achieved the effect so well. I didn't have the heart to admit they were just my pimples under green makeup. FML

#20138696
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18240) - you deserved it (1748)

On 10/29/2012 at 2:42pm - misc - by mistickfae - United States

Today, I went to a big family dinner. I didn't realize I hadn't been invited until we were about to sit down to eat. There were 12 chairs, 12 plates, 12 forks, and 12 glasses. I was the 13th person to arrive. FML

#20141489
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18198) - you deserved it (1776)

On 10/31/2012 at 10:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML

#20140711
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18168) - you deserved it (1251)

On 10/30/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML

#20148363
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17900) - you deserved it (4028)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by poro123 - United Kingdom

Today, I was waitressing for a huge family. Their bill was $750. Excited about the tip, I was shocked to see only $0.50. As they were leaving, I threw the two whole quarters at their heads. Guess who also got fired today. FML

#20150831
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17764) - you deserved it (41749)

On 11/06/2012 at 5:37pm - work - by Misunderstood Waitress (woman) - United States



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