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Tuesday 30 October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "nope", and walked out. FML

#20148958
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28242) - you deserved it (2452)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, at my school they were having a carnival to raise money. One of the patrons suggested that if they wanted to make money, they should have people pledge money to make me cover my ugly face with a bag. The school got over $500, and I had to wear a bag. FML

#20143313
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27958) - you deserved it (2253)

On 11/01/2012 at 7:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I had my first orgasm. I also came to the realization that whenever I orgasm I get an uncontrollable case of hiccups for at least half an hour afterwards. FML

#20145633
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27931) - you deserved it (3133)

On 11/03/2012 at 11:52am - intimacy - by hiccups - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter brought home her new boyfriend. He has a neck tattoo, and his life's dream is to be a professional "beer pong" player. FML

#20146654
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27735) - you deserved it (3213)

On 11/04/2012 at 1:30am - kids - by PleaseDontBeSerious - Canada

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

#20139353
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27230) - you deserved it (2514)

On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my best friend got engaged to the guy she's been seeing for five years. He also happens to be the man I've been in love with for eight. As she was giving me the details, she nonchalantly gave me her reason for accepting the proposal: "Why the hell not, there's always divorce." FML

#20149647
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27082) - you deserved it (4061)

On 11/05/2012 at 9:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow bar maid asked how we are supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML

#20141378
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26999) - you deserved it (1906)

On 10/31/2012 at 7:30am - work - by kat (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my family that I wanted to change my last name to my future wife's. We want to have the same last name, and we chose hers because she is an only child, while I have three brothers. Half of my family is laughing and calling me "pussy whipped" while the other half won't speak to me. FML

#20150778
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26918) - you deserved it (15702)

On 11/06/2012 at 5:03pm - love - by new name (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML

#20140430
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26749) - you deserved it (2550)

On 10/30/2012 at 5:26pm - misc - by rarara - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I found out that my over-controlling parents would be moving in next door. I'm almost 23, and moved 5,365 KM away to get away from them. FML

#20142163
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26562) - you deserved it (1552)

On 10/31/2012 at 9:39pm - misc - by OhLovely (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML

#20142085
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26236) - you deserved it (2411)

On 10/31/2012 at 8:40pm - misc - by hallofail (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I met someone really cool and their departing words were, for some odd reason, "We should totally be friends, I mean unless you're schizophrenic or something, haha!" I have schizophrenia. FML

#20140639
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26185) - you deserved it (2010)

On 10/30/2012 at 7:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML

#20138973
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26149) - you deserved it (2345)

On 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm - animals - by With_Love929 - United States (New York)



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