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Tuesday 30 October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML

#20141194
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24418) - you deserved it (2430)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML

#20140430
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24125) - you deserved it (2307)

On 10/30/2012 at 5:26pm - misc - by rarara - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my daughter brought home her new boyfriend. He has a neck tattoo, and his life's dream is to be a professional "beer pong" player. FML

#20146654
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24051) - you deserved it (2832)

On 11/04/2012 at 1:30am - kids - by PleaseDontBeSerious - Canada

Today, my husband and I found out that our dog was pregnant. He now refuses to have kids with me for at least two years, because he wants to raise the puppies without any "distractions". FML

#20140254
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23975) - you deserved it (3517)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:45pm - animals - by Lilly - United States

Today, I found out that my over-controlling parents would be moving in next door. I'm almost 23, and moved 5,365 KM away to get away from them. FML

#20142163
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23842) - you deserved it (1365)

On 10/31/2012 at 9:39pm - misc - by OhLovely (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my best friend got engaged to the guy she's been seeing for five years. He also happens to be the man I've been in love with for eight. As she was giving me the details, she nonchalantly gave me her reason for accepting the proposal: "Why the hell not, there's always divorce." FML

#20149647
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23581) - you deserved it (3672)

On 11/05/2012 at 9:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by showing up at my work and proposing to me. It was sweet until an angry customer bitched us out for "wasting her time." FML

#20141262
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23580) - you deserved it (2899)

On 10/31/2012 at 2:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

#20138384
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23346) - you deserved it (1260)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:03am - misc - by StormSeason (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

#20139353
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23161) - you deserved it (2158)

On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after I gave birth to our first child, my husband looked at the doctor and seriously asked, "When do you circumcise the baby?" We had a baby girl. FML

#20138333
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23158) - you deserved it (2207)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sampled some of the food my fiancée's mom is making for our wedding. Everything tasted terrible, and I almost vomited. Turns out she never actually went to culinary school as she claimed, but had just watched Julie and Julia. It's too late to book another caterer for the wedding. FML

#20145916
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23071) - you deserved it (4935)

On 11/03/2012 at 3:42pm - health - by WeddingWoes (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML

#20141343
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22688) - you deserved it (2948)

On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)

Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML

#20145644
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22024) - you deserved it (1593)

On 11/03/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by xXfloatingshitlogXx (woman) - Norway (Akershus)



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