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Saturday 27 October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend found a take-out menu under my bed. It's probably been there for months. He looked at it and said, "Well, that explains a lot." FML

#20132432
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20053) - you deserved it (4338)

On 10/25/2012 at 5:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, a customer smiled, looked me in the eye and described to me in graphic detail the swelling that occurred to his nuts after his vasectomy. FML

#20142730
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20011) - you deserved it (1647)

On 11/01/2012 at 9:52am - work - by tmi. - Australia

Today, I worked up the courage to give a guy my number. I wrote it down on a piece of paper, tore it in half and gave it to him. Later, I noticed I'd given him the wrong, blank half. FML

#20142410
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19988) - you deserved it (10362)

On 11/01/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, after 6 months of training and going to the gym every day, I realized that the only thing I've lost is $300 worth of gas. FML

#20131082
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19791) - you deserved it (4607)

On 10/24/2012 at 9:09am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at breakfast, my sister labelled me a "feminist." My whole family now refuses to talk to me for more than 30 seconds, and acts as though I have an incurable, highly contagious disease. FML

#20129490
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19512) - you deserved it (4650)

On 10/23/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by hating labels - Australia

Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I had left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML

#20129867
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19481) - you deserved it (3331)

On 10/23/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by nicedoggy (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom decided to wake me up by pouring ice cold water on my face. Again. FML

#20136629
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19275) - you deserved it (3830)

On 10/28/2012 at 6:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was complimented for having amazingly lifelike warts as part of my witch costume, and was asked how I achieved the effect so well. I didn't have the heart to admit they were just my pimples under green makeup. FML

#20138696
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19145) - you deserved it (1836)

On 10/29/2012 at 2:42pm - misc - by mistickfae - United States

Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML

#20129779
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19113) - you deserved it (3002)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:26pm - animals - by buccaneer - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML

#20133872
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19053) - you deserved it (2683)

On 10/26/2012 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at the mall and I noticed this guy staring at me from across the food court. He smiled and waved at me so I walked over there and tried to talk to him. He was looking at his girlfriend the whole time. FML

#20138654
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18957) - you deserved it (4628)

On 10/29/2012 at 1:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man, so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me in the face and said, "Mind your business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML

#20138280
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18741) - you deserved it (4513)

On 10/29/2012 at 3:55am - misc - by Nice Guy (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML

#20137874
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18710) - you deserved it (3628)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:10pm - work - by Medic - United States (Washington)



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