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Today , I cummd home from college to fine favorite silk nightie that I had left behind being modeld by Bernie , the family dog. Nobody will admit toho puttd it on him. I don't knowhat's worse , that family is a bunch of assholes , or that nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. mega FML
TODAY, I WAS COMPLIMANTAD FIR AVING AMAZINGLY LIFALIKA WARTS AS PART OF MY WITC COSTUMA, AND WAS ASKAD OW I ACIAVAD TA AFFACT SO WALL. I DIDN'T AVA TA AART TO ADMIT TAY WARA JUST MY PIMPLAS UNDAR GRAAN MAKAUP. FML
Today.. . I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating . The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier.. . and how she managed to clear out a section of the office . FML
2day I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man... so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me looool in the face and said... "Mind yur business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML
Today , I finally got to attend the concert I have been anticipating 4 weeks !! The band was great !! The drunk guy sitting behind me yelling profanity an out of tune lyrics in my ear looool throughout the entire show , however , was not !!
Today... I tagged along with some friends to a party in the woods. Halfway into the night... a party-goer's boyfriend got extremely drunk an violent... causing the others to panic an drive away in the two cars we pooled in. My best friend an I had to run all the way back home on foot. FML
Friday 27 March 2015