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Saturday 27 October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, you remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. FML

#20131351
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16146) - you deserved it (43979)

On 10/24/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at breakfast, my sister labelled me a "feminist." My whole family now refuses to talk to me for more than 30 seconds, and acts as though I have an incurable, highly contagious disease. FML

#20129490
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16073) - you deserved it (4113)

On 10/23/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by hating labels - Australia

Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML

#20141617
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16043) - you deserved it (1017)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:23pm - animals - by orilykid (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML

#20133872
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15959) - you deserved it (2325)

On 10/26/2012 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a customer smiled, looked me in the eye and described to me in graphic detail the swelling that occurred to his nuts after his vasectomy. FML

#20142730
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15767) - you deserved it (1298)

On 11/01/2012 at 9:52am - work - by tmi. - Australia

Today, I had my 7 month check up for my pregnancy. The nurse weighed me and said, "I see you've gotten into the Halloween candy." FML

#20137716
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15621) - you deserved it (2839)

On 10/28/2012 at 9:53pm - health - by monkeylover996 (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the mall and I noticed this guy staring at me from across the food court. He smiled and waved at me so I walked over there and tried to talk to him. He was looking at his girlfriend the whole time. FML

#20138654
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15607) - you deserved it (3996)

On 10/29/2012 at 1:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I tagged along with some friends to a party in the woods. Halfway into the night, a party-goer's boyfriend got extremely drunk and violent, causing the others to panic and drive away in the two cars we pooled in. My best friend and I had to run all the way back home on foot. FML

#20134435
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15545) - you deserved it (3363)

On 10/26/2012 at 4:49pm - misc - by Miss Spasticator (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20136682
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15248) - you deserved it (2226)

On 10/28/2012 at 8:29am - work - by radioinvader (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, before leaving my house, I OCD-checked all of my doors 16 times to make sure that they were locked. When I got home, my house had been broken into. Turns out I accidentally unlocked my front door when trying to lock it for the last time. This is why I have OCD. FML

#20141026
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15212) - you deserved it (6702)

On 10/30/2012 at 11:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got back my history paper. The whole paper had been crossed out and at the end, my professor had written "Really?!" I still don't know what I did wrong. FML

Today, my boyfriend found a take-out menu under my bed. It's probably been there for months. He looked at it and said, "Well, that explains a lot." FML

#20132432
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14930) - you deserved it (3664)

On 10/25/2012 at 5:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, my mom decided to wake me up by pouring ice cold water on my face. Again. FML

#20136629
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14711) - you deserved it (2794)

On 10/28/2012 at 6:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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