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Saturday 27 October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML

#20140711
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22670) - you deserved it (1662)

On 10/30/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML

#20134163
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22566) - you deserved it (2967)

On 10/26/2012 at 12:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I had surgery on my arm. My mom has recently had the same surgery and my dad is having his first rib removed and won't be able to move his arm. My family combined now has three functioning arms. FML

#20142449
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22514) - you deserved it (1558)

On 11/01/2012 at 1:08am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was working in a call center when I smelled perfume. I'm allergic, and it triggered my asthma. When I came back, some jerk had sprayed it all over my work area. I couldn't go near it for the rest of my shift, therefore I had to go home early, and got my paycheck docked. FML

#20143862
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22477) - you deserved it (1851)

On 11/02/2012 at 12:13am - work - by John - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were going through some troubles in our relationship, and she said to me, "No offense, but I really hope no other relationship I have in the future will be like this one." Some offense taken. FML

#20141147
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22434) - you deserved it (2750)

On 10/31/2012 at 12:22am - love - by anon (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I babysat a 10-year-old and we played Pokémon. It was my first time playing, so he showed me. I ended up winning and the kid started crying and told his parents he hated me. They decided not to pay me for the night, and now I'm out of a job. FML

#20130128
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22211) - you deserved it (4304)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by Pokemon problems - Canada (Ontario)

Today, despite my pain, my mom still refuses to take me to a foot doctor because, "They all have foot fetishes." FML

#20132061
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21835) - you deserved it (1406)

On 10/24/2012 at 10:44pm - health - by illjustlimpthen (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I decided to delete my Facebook account. My older sister repeatedly called me in tears asking why I'm cutting her out of my life. It seems I can't get rid of social media without my family taking offence. FML

#20145432
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21663) - you deserved it (1993)

On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, 60 guests for my wedding were supposed to arrive to the Bahamas. The first and only hurricane of the season decided to crash my wedding, stranding my mom, maid of honor and best man. No one will be able to attend my wedding, except the other drunken hotel guests. FML

#20133630
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21595) - you deserved it (3254)

On 10/25/2012 at 11:58pm - misc - by sadbride - Bahamas (New Providence)

Today, I let a friend borrow a power saw. When I found it on my porch later, the blade was missing and the cord was cut. Looking closer, I realized it was his saw. He kept my new one. He totally denies that he switched them and now won't answer his door. FML

#20128630
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21502) - you deserved it (1893)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:34pm - misc - by petra84 - United States (Colorado)

Today, after therapy for obsessing over every woman who talks to me, all I could think about was how I could seduce my therapist. I think I still need a lot of help. FML

#20133155
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21470) - you deserved it (5321)

On 10/25/2012 at 7:09pm - love - by mental - United States

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to tell my 10-year-old son that if he wanted to get girls, he had to do the Gangnam Style. My son has now non-stop been doing the Gangnam Style. FML

#20136801
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21470) - you deserved it (4141)

On 10/28/2012 at 10:53am - kids - by friedbutter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, before leaving my house, I OCD-checked all of my doors 16 times to make sure that they were locked. When I got home, my house had been broken into. Turns out I accidentally unlocked my front door when trying to lock it for the last time. This is why I have OCD. FML

#20141026
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21465) - you deserved it (9352)

On 10/30/2012 at 11:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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