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Saturday 27 October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML

#20141617
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22111) - you deserved it (1627)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:23pm - animals - by orilykid (man) - United States (California)

Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML

#20140711
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22015) - you deserved it (1609)

On 10/30/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that my daughter has a hit list. There are over thirty names on there. My name is on it as well. FML

#20135128
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21993) - you deserved it (3384)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I'm at home, sick with walking pneumonia and a raging UTI. Every time I cough, I piss myself. I'm now having to lie on a bath towel and garbage bags until the meds kick in. FML

#20145285
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21861) - you deserved it (1377)

On 11/03/2012 at 1:34am - health - by jdch_99 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, despite my pain, my mom still refuses to take me to a foot doctor because, "They all have foot fetishes." FML

#20132061
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21755) - you deserved it (1403)

On 10/24/2012 at 10:44pm - health - by illjustlimpthen (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after weeks of wondering if my cat has a fetish for licking my bed covers, I finally witnessed him licking up an ant off of the covers. Turns out that my bed is infested with ants. FML

#20138030
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21676) - you deserved it (4620)

On 10/29/2012 at 12:23am - animals - by lifelike (woman) - United States (California)

Today, 60 guests for my wedding were supposed to arrive to the Bahamas. The first and only hurricane of the season decided to crash my wedding, stranding my mom, maid of honor and best man. No one will be able to attend my wedding, except the other drunken hotel guests. FML

#20133630
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21521) - you deserved it (3250)

On 10/25/2012 at 11:58pm - misc - by sadbride - Bahamas (New Providence)

Today, I let a friend borrow a power saw. When I found it on my porch later, the blade was missing and the cord was cut. Looking closer, I realized it was his saw. He kept my new one. He totally denies that he switched them and now won't answer his door. FML

#20128630
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21404) - you deserved it (1889)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:34pm - misc - by petra84 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to tell my 10-year-old son that if he wanted to get girls, he had to do the Gangnam Style. My son has now non-stop been doing the Gangnam Style. FML

#20136801
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21399) - you deserved it (4131)

On 10/28/2012 at 10:53am - kids - by friedbutter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after therapy for obsessing over every woman who talks to me, all I could think about was how I could seduce my therapist. I think I still need a lot of help. FML

#20133155
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21390) - you deserved it (5312)

On 10/25/2012 at 7:09pm - love - by mental - United States

Today, before leaving my house, I OCD-checked all of my doors 16 times to make sure that they were locked. When I got home, my house had been broken into. Turns out I accidentally unlocked my front door when trying to lock it for the last time. This is why I have OCD. FML

#20141026
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21388) - you deserved it (9340)

On 10/30/2012 at 11:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML

#20138046
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21373) - you deserved it (1360)

On 10/29/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by tcm123 - United States (Illinois)

Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML

#20131308
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21113) - you deserved it (1778)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:35pm - animals - by 12693 - Australia (Western Australia)



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