Friday 17 February 2012 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6920) - you deserved it (21285)
On 02/24/2012 at 2:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I took my girlfriend out for a fancy dinner to celebrate our anniversary. When the waitress came, we instantly recognized each other. She was the girl I'd had a one night stand with a few weeks before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6855) - you deserved it (81980)
On 02/13/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, I was speaking to an old friend and I asked her how her mother was. She replied, "She passed away, you came to her funeral last month." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6812) - you deserved it (34995)
On 02/20/2012 at 5:01am - misc - by elizabethyeo - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I realized that with all the money I've spent on repairs for my iPhone through the months, I could have bought a phone that doesn't die horribly whenever I so much as give it a mean look. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6722) - you deserved it (17319)
On 02/18/2012 at 5:07pm - money - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, after handing in my resume to get a part-time job, I tried leaving, but the door wouldn't open. It was the "in" door. The person I gave my resume to had to slowly explain this to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6497) - you deserved it (17553)
On 02/22/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by nevergettingajob (man) - Canada
Today, I accidentally left my cell phone at the restaurant. When I realized my mistake, I went back to see if anyone had found it. They said no, so I gave them my number to call if it turned up. I realized later that I'd given them my cell phone number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6440) - you deserved it (13977)
On 02/19/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by queenbee12345678 - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I tried to impress my wife by doing a bunch of push-ups, despite having a bad shoulder. She told me my form sucks and that I'm an idiot. Now I can barely move my arm and I'm going to have to get it fixed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6420) - you deserved it (19322)
On 02/20/2012 at 12:36pm - love - by WTA (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6348) - you deserved it (11873)
On 02/22/2012 at 2:56am - misc - by jenni6488 - United Kingdom (Gateshead)
Today, my landlady roasted a joint of beef and the whole house smelled wonderful. OK, even if I am a masochistic vegetarian and former omnivore, that was way beyond cruel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5918) - you deserved it (23923)
Today, while driving, I slowed down and made sure I safely went by a pedestrian, and in the process rear-ended the car in front of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5873) - you deserved it (14387)
On 02/21/2012 at 6:56pm - misc - by me (man) - United States
Today, my friend and I got into such a heated debate the police had to be called. The debate was about Whitney Houston. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5517) - you deserved it (19851)
On 02/20/2012 at 2:41am - misc - by OhMyWhitney - United States (Illinois)
Today, I tried to make a rocket, using Diet Coke and Mentos. It worked pretty well, as both the kitchen window and my chipped tooth can testify. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5276) - you deserved it (19514)
On 02/24/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by alex (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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