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September 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I can't go on watching season 8 of The Big Bang Theory, not because of the steady decline of the show's quality, but because I can't stand Penny's new haircut. FML

#21263705
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27529) - you deserved it (16281)

On 09/23/2014 at 8:48am - misc - by shelookslikemiley - Australia

Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad "What's up?" He casually replied: "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML

#21265875
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27432) - you deserved it (2182)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally got to watch some porn after not being able to for a while. All I could notice in the video was how badly the participants were playing snooker. FML

#21250464
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27293) - you deserved it (6846)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my mom threw away a bag of tiny parts belonging to a $1,700 robot. Naturally, I figured this out at midnight and had to spend 30 minutes digging through three nasty trashcans overflowing with rotten food and spiders. The bag was dripping with what looked like cheese by the time I found it. FML

Today, as I was lying in my bed eating my dinner, my roommate says to me: "I don't know how to say this, but we need more towels. The room is flooding." FML

#21264230
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26681) - you deserved it (2205)

On 09/24/2014 at 12:10am - misc - by youonlyneed2squares (woman) -

Today, I was going to put some Italian dressing on my salad when I noticed that the oil and vinegar weren't mixed. After putting the cap back on, I shook as hard as I could. The cap came flying off and I showered myself in the dressing. FML

#21258902
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26536) - you deserved it (7978)

On 09/15/2014 at 5:37pm - misc - by imamess (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while waiting for my violin student to unpack his violin, he farted loudly and rhythmically on the sofa, and then went on about how it sounded like the "Shave and a Haircut" rhythm. FML

#21259194
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26307) - you deserved it (2425)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:17am - work - by cazzb - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got home from a long day at work, hoping to just fix dinner and relax, only to find that my cat had come into the house with a rabbit, and is now stuck underneath the cabinet. FML

#21263396
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26288) - you deserved it (2462)

On 09/22/2014 at 9:04pm - animals - by madisonbubch - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was told by my doctor I should start eating meat again after two years of vegetarianism, in an effort to be healthier. After horrid gas after my first turkey sandwich, I was told that my body no longer has the enzymes to digest meat. My efforts to be healthy crippled my stomach. FML

#21264930
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26272) - you deserved it (12914)

On 09/25/2014 at 2:21am - health - by skollasch - United States (California)

Today, I'm at that age where sitting down carries a 50/50 chance of turning my balls into scrambled eggs, a fact confirmed yet again today. Third time this week. I think it's time to switch to briefs. FML

#21259403
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26005) - you deserved it (3747)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:20pm - health - by I need a new ballsack. (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, the day before my wife and I leave for our 1 year anniversary trip, I realized my passport expires in 2014, not 2015. Instead of a week's stay at an all-inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic, we'll be spending three days in Louisville. Three angry days in Louisville. FML

#21266059
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25978) - you deserved it (15608)

On 09/26/2014 at 10:23pm - love - by dumass - United States (Ohio)

Today, we spent an entire day without being able to do work because our internet connection was down. Turns out, only the router had crashed and nobody bothered to reset it "to avoid doing further damage". FML

#21263926
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25803) - you deserved it (2778)

On 09/23/2014 at 4:19pm - work - by disconnected (woman) - Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)

Today, I was checking out of a hotel when I saw some complementary mints. They weren't mints. They were glass beads. FML



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