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April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a coworker and I pulled a April Fools' joke on our boss. She "borrowed" his keys and rolled down his window. I took a car window from a scrap yard and sprinkled it on the ground near his door. His response was to kick the nearest object in anger. The nearest object happened to be my car. FML

#21385709
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24137) - you deserved it (9828)

On 04/01/2015 at 1:46pm - work - by TecheyTim - United States (New York)

Today, teachers were pulling students out of class to announce valedictorian, salutatorian, and other awards for graduation. I got pulled out of class by one of them, and I got a little excited since I wasn't expecting an award. It was to tell me that my sister was staying after school. FML

Today, a little girl from my Sunday School class approached me and told me she had a stomach ache. She seemed very upset and her face was discolored so I took her to the nurse. While we were walking out the door, I looked down and saw a half-eaten crayon on the floor. That'll do it. FML

#21392424
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24019) - you deserved it (1879)

On 04/12/2015 at 3:49pm - health - by drewcaver - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a job interview. It would have been fine if I had remembered it was over the phone, and not in person. I drove two hours. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "God" told her to. I guess "God" didn't have any problems with me buying dinner first. FML

#21399506
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23844) - you deserved it (1899)

On 04/25/2015 at 1:55pm - love - by wil - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my prom dress came in the mail. I don't know what happened with the tailoring but not only does it not fit, but it also looks like deli meat. FML

#21396978
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23759) - you deserved it (2881)

On 04/20/2015 at 5:41pm - misc - by Deli meat prom - United States (Texas)

Today, while at work, a guy complained about me "touching his fries." At first I thought it was a joke, because he kept smiling, even after I offered him new ones. I realized it wasn't a joke when he threw the fries on the counter. FML

#21386179
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23698) - you deserved it (2097)

On 04/01/2015 at 10:04pm - work - by QueenCee - United States (California)

Today, my supervisor forced me to bring the image of a failed simulation to the group meeting, because he thought it looked funny. So did the others and it's now going on our webpage. I have to provide a scientific description of how I made a mistake in my code. FML

#21393415
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23695) - you deserved it (2449)

On 04/14/2015 at 7:50am - work - by OptMouse (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I received a terrible grade for an essay I worked really hard on. I had two friends, one being an English major, check it over. However, apparently I "clearly didn't use spellcheck" on this essay just like the last one I submitted to her. FML

#21394988
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23641) - you deserved it (4962)

On 04/16/2015 at 11:34pm - work - by shaifox96 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was watching porn, and ended up bawling because the girl in the video looked like my ex. FML

#21399752
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23634) - you deserved it (6952)

On 04/26/2015 at 12:05am - intimacy - by montanadinosaur (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while out walking with my son in a stroller, a couple passed by and the girl smiled sweetly at him. It made me really happy, until we passed and I heard her say "What? You're supposed to smile at babies, even if they look weird." FML

#21399622
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23609) - you deserved it (1917)

On 04/25/2015 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, at my cousin's wedding, there was a bouquet toss. I jumped to catch it, only to get knocked down and crushed by a woman twice my size who'd jumped backwards. It still feels like someone shattered my ribs with a sledgehammer. FML

#21387046
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23420) - you deserved it (2248)

On 04/03/2015 at 2:08pm - health - by glocked and goaded (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend asked me to take my belt off as the buckle was hurting her leg. I didn't have a belt on. FML

#21385195
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23283) - you deserved it (4260)

On 04/01/2015 at 3:40am - intimacy - by zetuga (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)



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