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October 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to write, "Do not use to freeze cat," on my bag of ice because my sister's cat died, and she refuses to bury it. FML

#21275907
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28783) - you deserved it (2330)

On 10/11/2014 at 11:14pm - animals - by MrG - United States

Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML

#21281851
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28761) - you deserved it (2024)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:04pm - work - by Bartender - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I learned that if you give a squirrel a cookie, he'll climb up your pants in search of more cookies. FML

Today, my sister ended her long and extremely annoying crush on Justin Bieber. I can only hope one day my girlfriend will end hers too. FML

#21282066
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28659) - you deserved it (3244)

On 10/20/2014 at 10:29pm - love - by DanTheMan (man) -

Today, the steroids I was prescribed for a slightly irritating sinus infection have worked, albeit at the price of making me almost shit my pants multiple times. My sinuses are now clear enough that I get the full scent of my steroid-induced diarrhea. FML

#21279069
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28629) - you deserved it (2528)

On 10/16/2014 at 12:44pm - health - by roidrager (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

#21281207
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28617) - you deserved it (4600)

On 10/19/2014 at 4:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I got roped into a volunteering thing at the last minute. I was waiting outside with all these kids who looked hungry. Feeling bad, I passed around crisps and cookies. Turns out we were at a convention to promote healthy eating in malnourished children. FML

#21274410
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28546) - you deserved it (4908)

On 10/09/2014 at 6:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I sent my fiancé a sexy picture while I was at work. I never got a response from him, so I gave him a call after a while. His 9-year-old son answered. Apparently he was getting a haircut at the time. FML

#21280130
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28515) - you deserved it (7938)

On 10/17/2014 at 10:23pm - intimacy - by melissa1028 (woman) - United States

Today, a day after being informed that keeping my wallet in my front pocket was "strange", my wallet was stolen from my back pocket. FML

Today, I got my graduation photos back. I'd sent them to a friend for touching up, but unfortunately we had a major argument recently. I guess that's why in the photos I've been photoshopped out and replaced with a goat. FML

#21283103
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28395) - you deserved it (5706)

On 10/22/2014 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML

#21279967
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28294) - you deserved it (3311)

On 10/17/2014 at 4:12pm - health - by catt - Germany (Berlin)

Today, as my boyfriend left my house, I gave him a long, tight hug. So tight that he threw up. FML

Today, I fell asleep at my desk. It's bad enough that it was for 45 minutes and that I was snoring. What makes it worse? My boss woke me up. FML

#21274158
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28211) - you deserved it (13421)

On 10/09/2014 at 10:10am - work - by Sleepy (man) - United Kingdom (Hillingdon)



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