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August 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I painted my nails in the car. After I finished, I stuck my hands out the window to let them dry. When I pulled my hands back in there were live bugs stuck in my nail polish. FML

#21228488
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22728) - you deserved it (44174)

On 08/03/2014 at 2:49pm - misc - by ew - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML

#21241796
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22266) - you deserved it (1591)

On 08/20/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by sonofaneuroticwench (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I dropped my kid into a crowded wishing fountain instead of a coin. FML

#21235686
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20806) - you deserved it (34214)

On 08/12/2014 at 6:21am - kids - by jake - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was walking to a job interview. I needed to get rid of some gum but there were no trash cans in sight, so I spat it out on the ground. Next thing I know, some guy grabs me, sticks the gum in my hair, and walks off, muttering curses. I couldn't get it out in time for the interview. FML

#21234860
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19560) - you deserved it (43320)

On 08/11/2014 at 1:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19328) - you deserved it (36937)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, my boss threw out the report I wrote for the board of directors. He said that if it were legal, he'd smash me in the balls with a brick for using Comic Sans. I had to do the whole thing again in another font with my coworkers snickering at me. FML

#21238351
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18699) - you deserved it (45738)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML

#21238336
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16463) - you deserved it (31810)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:10pm - money - by thoughthewasjoking (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I made fun of a girl singing passionately along to a song on her radio while in traffic next to me. She decided that her chocolate milkshake would make a good addition to my brand new seat covers. FML

#21237592
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13968) - you deserved it (66368)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:54pm - misc - by oops - United States (California)

Today, I got fired after three days at my new job. They told me it was because of downsizing. They were still interviewing people and had a help wanted sign in the window. FML

Today, I was shaving with a waterproof battery operated shaver only to get tasered by it. FML

#21242075
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13292) - you deserved it (1411)

On 08/20/2014 at 10:37pm - misc - by close shave (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got drunk, broke up with my girlfriend, and sent my grandma nude pics. thinking she was my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. FML

#21241704
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13170) - you deserved it (26314)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by Kev (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I talked to a girl I like. I tried to make her jealous by telling her I had a "thing" going with another girl. She looked deeply into my eyes and said, "Wait, aren't you gay?" FML

#21242399
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12892) - you deserved it (4647)

On 08/21/2014 at 11:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2340) - you deserved it (397)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -



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