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November 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went on a first date. I didn't know that licking my neck was on the agenda. FML

#21291715
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29103) - you deserved it (2911)

On 11/04/2014 at 1:24am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I held the door open for an old lady, before realizing she was a teacher taking 20-plus kids to lunch at local burger joint, all of whom got in front of me in the line to order. FML

#21304463
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29071) - you deserved it (4061)

On 11/23/2014 at 12:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, one of the patients on the mental health unit where I work looked me up and down and said; "Well, I guess it's a popular misconception that all fat people are jolly." FML

#21298006
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29055) - you deserved it (3962)

On 11/12/2014 at 9:48pm - work - by thefatnurse - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up, only to find my Xbox missing. Thankfully I have a security camera discreetly wired up in the tree on my lawn. Checking the tapes, I saw my brother park outside my house, let himself in with his spare key, then drive off with my missing equipment. FML

#21303975
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29074) - you deserved it (2470)

On 11/22/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my parents told me they don't think I'll ever find a boyfriend, and insist on referring to my future cats as their "grandkids". FML

#21289318
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29039) - you deserved it (2610)

On 10/31/2014 at 9:16pm - love - by really - United States

Today, what few friends I have won't talk to me anymore. My ex told them she dumped me because I abused her. I never abused her. What really happened is that she dumped me in a rage after I refused to give her money for drugs. Nobody's even asked for my side of the story. FML

#21306153
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29035) - you deserved it (1856)

On 11/26/2014 at 11:42am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a girl said to me, "Sorry, but I have a boyfriend". I hadn't said anything to her. FML

Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML

#21292789
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28813) - you deserved it (3317)

On 11/05/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by aineroo (woman) - Ireland (Galway)

Today, my boss flipped me off in traffic on my way to work. FML

#21303116
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28642) - you deserved it (3486)

On 11/21/2014 at 1:11am - work - by TJ AJ RJ / IV the V - United States (California)

Today, I was on a date, and I went to put my arm around her, trying to be romantic, but my coordination went straight to hell. Instead of her shoulder, I ended up accidentally grabbing her tit. FML

#21302056
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28650) - you deserved it (7003)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:03pm - love - by oops (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML

#21303913
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28608) - you deserved it (2221)

On 11/22/2014 at 1:37pm - kids - by uterurist (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was elected to learn how to clean the birthing tub at the hospital I work at. Today, I also discovered that while blood doesn't bother me, floating chunks of afterbirth and god knows what else, will cause me to projectile vomit into said tub. Which I still had to clean afterwards. FML

#21304749
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28557) - you deserved it (2828)

On 11/23/2014 at 8:59pm - work - by StomachofTinfoil (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my friendly neighbor asked me to check in on his apartment every few days while he's gone on vacation. You can imagine my horror when I walked in for the first time and found out he's a snake breeder. Twelve more days to go. FML

#21302388
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28563) - you deserved it (2982)

On 11/19/2014 at 9:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



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