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October 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my parents told me off for reading, as opposed to watching TV like the rest of the family, because it was "anti-social". FML

#21282362
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26370) - you deserved it (1943)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I laughed at my grandma's chihuahua poodle mix, as it barked at me entering the house. "What are you going to do, nibble me to death?" is apparently enough to make it jump and bite me. I needed five stitches. FML

#21280619
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26117) - you deserved it (10258)

On 10/18/2014 at 7:05pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I volunteered to tutor a 17-year-old girl in science. I had to explain in detail of what the real Big Bang theory was, as she only knew about the show. Later, I heard I was reported by her because apparently, "I was trying to convert her to Scientology." I now know why she needed a tutor. FML

Today, as my boyfriend left my house, I gave him a long, tight hug. So tight that he threw up. FML

Today, my neighbor finally decided that when she walks her dog, she should pick up his poop. She also decided to leave the poop-filled bags in my driveway. I confronted her about this and she claimed it's never happened. I've watched her multiple times from my front window. FML

#21281417
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25801) - you deserved it (2012)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:00pm - animals - by Why Me - United States (Indiana)

Today, while doing physical therapy exercises for my broken leg, I managed to throw my back out. Now I can neither walk nor sit up. FML

#21281586
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25779) - you deserved it (2166)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:00am - health - by cray12 - United States

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25768) - you deserved it (6614)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML

#21281851
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25618) - you deserved it (1786)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:04pm - work - by Bartender - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my sister ended her long and extremely annoying crush on Justin Bieber. I can only hope one day my girlfriend will end hers too. FML

#21282066
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25283) - you deserved it (2803)

On 10/20/2014 at 10:29pm - love - by DanTheMan (man) -

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24967) - you deserved it (49716)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

#21281977
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24755) - you deserved it (3822)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymos_fmler - United States (Illinois)

Today, my son gave me a bottle of shampoo for my birthday. I'm as bald as a coot. FML

#21282364
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24628) - you deserved it (2317)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:41am - kids - by Bald (man) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I came out as bisexual to my friends via group message. They didn't respond; I had a panic attack. An hour later, one of my friends texted back, "k". FML



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