Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37047) - you deserved it (3851)
On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37046) - you deserved it (1978)
On 05/15/2013 at 2:21am - health - by the only sober one (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my daughter posted a beautiful, touching status on my Facebook wall for Mother's Day. It wasn't so touching that she'd just copied and pasted the one I wrote for her grandmother and sent it back to me, unedited. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37025) - you deserved it (3115)
On 05/12/2013 at 1:21pm - love - by mothers (woman) - United States
Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (36993) - you deserved it (5076)
On 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36945) - you deserved it (6505)
On 05/16/2013 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went for an interview regarding a seasonal position I'd been offered at a grocery store. The manager showed up 45 minutes past the scheduled interview time, cheerfully greeted me, and took me back to his office, just to tell me that they don't hire seasonal help. Ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36772) - you deserved it (2821)
On 05/18/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by ineedayob (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boss asked me to read through a document. I gave my feedback, saying it seemed like it had been written by an 8-year-old. Turns out it was in fact written by him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36757) - you deserved it (13076)
On 05/08/2013 at 12:59pm - work - by anon_1996 - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, my friend told me she'd lost her notebook filled with crucial notes for our finals. She asked if she could borrow mine and copy my notes. She then lost my notebook too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36552) - you deserved it (9079)
On 05/17/2013 at 6:28pm - misc - by well great. - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I was getting out of my car, when my new neighbor asked if I'd help him unhitch a trailer. On my way over, he said, "Oh never mind, I thought you were a boy." I am a boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36541) - you deserved it (5293)
On 05/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by Time for a haircut (man) - United States
Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36535) - you deserved it (3410)
On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. I slipped a ruler into it and started scratching to relieve the itch. Part of the ruler ended up snapping off inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36532) - you deserved it (12401)
On 05/17/2013 at 4:49pm - health - by sprainedankle - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)
Today, I did my small part to help the environment by hanging my clothes outside to dry rather than using the dryer. The birds showed their appreciation by crapping on the majority of my clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36373) - you deserved it (10496)
On 05/07/2013 at 1:10pm - animals - by hitchcock2013 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36345) - you deserved it (14128)
On 05/18/2013 at 8:54am - intimacy - by lez probs - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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