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January 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, desperate for work, I went into a shop and asked the owner if he had any spare jobs to fill. He looked me up and down and sneered "Yes, but not for people like... you." FML

#21332025
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27488) - you deserved it (2540)

On 01/06/2015 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a little old lady trying to cross the street. I went over and tried to help her. Turned out she was actually just a really short young woman. As soon as I took her arm, she screamed in front of everyone and accused me of trying to molest her. FML

#21339220
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27496) - you deserved it (7281)

On 01/17/2015 at 10:45pm - misc - by Help Me (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML

#21343084
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27505) - you deserved it (1989)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm celebrating New Years with my cat. I made her a cake. FML

#21328260
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27443) - you deserved it (5883)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:25am - misc - by HappyNewYearsToMeAndMyCat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, as usual, my boyfriend referred to his penis in the third person as "Mr. Willy". Even during sex. FML

#21328962
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27441) - you deserved it (3760)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:22pm - intimacy - by mrwilly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my new roommate puked into the sink and all over the bathroom floor, before passing out on her bed. Apparently, she was awake enough to wash her own face but not clean up her vomit. We share the bathroom. This is the second time already. FML

#21336281
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27433) - you deserved it (2226)

On 01/13/2015 at 6:06am - misc - by notyourcleaner (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I spent hours cooking an amazing dinner for my family, who had just gotten home from a trip, so we could spend some time together because I'd started to miss everyone. When they got home, they saw it all laid out and just took plates to their room, without even telling me they were home. FML

#21331513
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27372) - you deserved it (1939)

On 01/05/2015 at 7:15pm - misc - by anon - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my fiancée and I were making plans for our wedding when my soon-to-be mother-in-law chimed in with, "You know, she can still get out of this. I got the dress for her but we can save it for the next guy." I'm not sure if she's joking or not. FML

#21329587
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27346) - you deserved it (1981)

On 01/02/2015 at 8:46pm - love - by bingalingading (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend and I were going to sext before going to sleep. It was very late, but I said I'd stay up for him. He sent a text asking me if I was ready. Me replying "yes" was the last thing I remember before I fell asleep on my horny boyfriend. FML

#21334154
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27341) - you deserved it (8002)

On 01/09/2015 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mum sat me down for a serious talk about not being home enough - not because she misses me, but because the family cat needs more stability in her life. FML

#21329522
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27331) - you deserved it (2186)

On 01/02/2015 at 7:11pm - animals - by cat co-parent - Australia

Today, I tripped over a "wet floor" sign at work and hit the floor hard. The floor wasn't even wet. FML

#21336915
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27322) - you deserved it (4043)

On 01/14/2015 at 10:35am - work - by kronic1990 - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter was putting clothes in the drier when she yelled, "Mom!! The drier won't start!" I had to explain to her that the door needed to be shut. Her response, "Oh. I didn't know that mattered." She's 15. FML

#21331580
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27286) - you deserved it (5100)

On 01/05/2015 at 8:59pm - kids - by i_am_forever - United States (California)

Today, at dinner, my downstair's neighbors described how they can listen to most of my movements, including the buzz of my phone when I text late at night. I think all of us knew it is not my phone that vibrates at that time. FML

#21343273
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27283) - you deserved it (4326)

On 01/24/2015 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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