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May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I fell asleep while working the night shift. It took me 3 hours and a whole lot of dirty looks while walking home before I looked in a mirror and saw my cockbite of a coworker had drawn a swastika on my forehead while I was asleep. FML

#21406740
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23930) - you deserved it (6734)

On 05/08/2015 at 11:44am - work - by pop, pop (man) - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother yelled at me for driving erratically. I was "driving" in a video game. FML

Today, I missed my bus. But it didn't miss me. I've been in the hospital for 8 hours with a broken leg. FML

#21413750
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23968) - you deserved it (1654)

On 05/21/2015 at 9:55pm - money - by FrickingBusDrivers (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to bring my 92-year-old neighbor some cake we had just made. When I walked in, she was wearing pants. That's it. I stared blinking in shock for a few seconds before running away, yelling, "So sorry. I brought you cake. Real tired. Gonna sleep now. Bye." FML

#21409137
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23775) - you deserved it (3016)

On 05/12/2015 at 8:33pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after taking my crush to the train station late at night, I sat in a local park alone with my thoughts for a while. Two cops appeared out of nowhere and started searching me for drugs and weapons, asking me questions for a good 30 minutes. Not the kind of action I expected tonight. FML

#21412638
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23728) - you deserved it (2068)

On 05/19/2015 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML

#21412078
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23719) - you deserved it (6777)

On 05/18/2015 at 4:40pm - misc - by Swabidizop - United States (Colorado)

Today, I told my friends I was kissed by a girl. They said "Yeah, probably by your mom." The sad thing is, they were right. FML

#21402837
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23552) - you deserved it (10370)

On 05/01/2015 at 10:24am - love - by Forever alone - United States (Nebraska)

Today, in bare consciousness, I found out what it feels like to be stabbed in the hand with an earring. How? By slamming my hand on the snooze button of my alarm and missing horribly. FML

#21411522
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23461) - you deserved it (5656)

On 05/17/2015 at 3:32pm - misc - by norpedo (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my little cousin was helping me wash my car. After scrubbing all the dirt, I gave him the hose and said, "Okay, now rinse off this disgusting thing." He turned the hose on me. FML

#21409816
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23390) - you deserved it (5768)

On 05/14/2015 at 12:26am - kids - by ptarr12345 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, on my first driving lesson, I crashed my instructor's car. I didn't even make it out of the parking lot. FML

#21407296
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23387) - you deserved it (9696)

On 05/09/2015 at 2:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, it was the first time a guy has shown any interest in me by calling me pretty. I was so shocked that instead of saying thank you, I hid behind the nearest object and promptly giggle-snorted. FML

Today, my girlfriend of a week showed me her talent: shooting milk out of her vagina across the room. Goodbye dairy products. FML

#21413854
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23192) - you deserved it (2649)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by zzarzzur (man) - United States (California)



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