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June 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, the 4-year-old I was babysitting came up to me all happy, saying she went to the bathroom like a "big girl". Knowing she was just potty trained, I asked if she'd remembered to flush. Looking at me confused, she said, "But it's in my room." FML

#21424205
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25616) - you deserved it (1830)

On 06/10/2015 at 11:04pm - kids - by AdoKitty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked outside to get the paper, and saw a dying bird I assumed had flown into the window. It was warm so I thought it might still be alive. I wasn't wearing my glasses though, and was trying to nurse a dog turd back to life. FML

#21420933
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25580) - you deserved it (9787)

On 06/04/2015 at 10:17pm - animals - by nerderer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found the courage to tell my parents about my boyfriend. They reacted by simply lecturing me for an hour about how much he'll ruin my life and how much they don't like him. They haven't met him yet. FML

#21422783
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25489) - you deserved it (2209)

On 06/08/2015 at 11:08am - love - by howard1954 - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor came over to borrow my lawnmower. As I have previously loaned it to him and he returned it broken, I refused. He then promptly ate the strawberries off my daughter's small strawberry plant and stormed off. FML

#21424116
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25487) - you deserved it (1594)

On 06/10/2015 at 8:13pm - misc - by its still broken (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad got so drunk that I had to drive him home. He kept yelling at me to not speed, saying I was going too fast and that there were too many bumps on the road. I hadn't even started the car yet. FML

Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. While I was running on the treadmill, my beer belly pushed against the emergency stop button, twice. FML

#21427019
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25450) - you deserved it (4833)

On 06/16/2015 at 1:27pm - health - by Iarla_ceapaire93 - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after I drove two hours to his house, because he wanted to do it face to face. Then told me that if I wanted, we could have sex one last time, but I would have to leave right after, otherwise it would be weird. FML

#21430061
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25408) - you deserved it (1898)

On 06/22/2015 at 10:41am - intimacy - by bonzo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my mother told me to take a quick shower. When I got out, she told me I took too long, and now I have to pay the utilities bill. My shower was two minutes long. FML

#21425187
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25398) - you deserved it (1762)

On 06/12/2015 at 9:56pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I lost my virginity. He then told me, in tears, how bad he felt about leaving his dog alone for the night. FML

#21422070
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25390) - you deserved it (2426)

On 06/07/2015 at 12:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Gisborne)

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

#21431510
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25304) - you deserved it (3487)

On 06/24/2015 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as my mom was getting ready for a date, I told her that I think it's too early for her to date, since she divorced my dad only a week ago. She then said, "Don't worry, I'm only in it for sex." FML

#21430672
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25242) - you deserved it (3752)

On 06/23/2015 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, the phone lines at work have been cutting out in the middle of calls. I'm a receptionist at an animal hospital. I now have less than two minutes to figure out what's wrong with a client's pet and how best to schedule them before I become "That rude bitch who hung up on me." FML

#21419304
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25212) - you deserved it (1802)

On 06/01/2015 at 6:46pm - work - by thankyouforcalling (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, as I was putting stuff into the back of my car, a man walked by and said I looked "super fine." When I looked up to look him in the face, he immediately looked disgusted and basically ran away. Apparently, my face does that. FML

#21421481
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25172) - you deserved it (2018)

On 06/05/2015 at 8:44pm - misc - by fugly - United States (Pennsylvania)



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