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September 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my cat decided to use my bowl of rice krispies as his litter box. FML

Today, I work at a bakery. As I was putting out some cakes with fruit on top of them, a customer asked me how we get the little hairs to stay on the raspberries, and if we glue them on. FML

#21249886
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32909) - you deserved it (2777)

On 09/01/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by s0728 - United States (Texas)

Today, I watched with mild confusion as a piece of paper tucked underneath my windshield wiper flapped around on the highway. What could it be? Surely not a parking ticket. Powerless, I watched it fly away. It must have been the insurance information for the person who swiped the back of my car. FML

Today, I went to use the porta potty at the construction site I work at and found two homeless people having sex in it. I almost got fired, because my advisor blamed me. FML

#21264426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32765) - you deserved it (2556)

On 09/24/2014 at 9:58am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my goat decided my hairstyle was so last season and restyled it for me with his teeth. FML

Today, my boyfriend broke things off, because he says I have a "horrible, horrible personality" and that I'm only really fuck-buddy material, which is a problem because he wants something long-term. We've been dating for three years. FML

#21261219
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32601) - you deserved it (3154)

On 09/19/2014 at 12:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, at work, a midget came in to buy beer. Not only was he almost as tall as me, he got offended when I had to card him and explain that the manager told me to card everyone, and that it wasn't because he was short. FML

#21256044
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32591) - you deserved it (2700)

On 09/10/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by mybad - United States

Today, I found out that the only girl who's ever called me cute or handsome is actually a compulsive liar. FML

#21260295
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32588) - you deserved it (2490)

On 09/17/2014 at 9:37pm - misc - by compulsiveliarssaytheylikeme - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got yelled at by a bleeding-heart hippy in the restroom for using paper towels. Apparently I'm a "tree-hating, paper-wasting bitch". I had a nosebleed. FML

#21263128
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32572) - you deserved it (2549)

On 09/22/2014 at 1:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

#21266933
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32536) - you deserved it (2681)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:30am - intimacy - by tw@ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my horrible boss sent me a Facebook friend request for the fifth time, in her attempt to not only bother me at work, but also through social media. FML

#21254692
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32510) - you deserved it (2866)

On 09/08/2014 at 9:26pm - work - by notyourfriend (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

#21250455
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32440) - you deserved it (7538)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, in astronomy class, a kid used Uranus in a hilarious innuendo. I was the only one who laughed. I also happen to be the teacher. FML

#21260699
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32382) - you deserved it (5360)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm - misc - by immature - United Kingdom (Reading)



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