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November 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I looked at my twelve-year-old daughter's test. One of the question was, "When is a good time to worry about your parents?" Her answer was, "When they take selfies, because selfies aren't made for old people." FML

#21292082
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29921) - you deserved it (5573)

On 11/04/2014 at 4:48pm - kids - by The Selfie Parent - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

#21299790
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29897) - you deserved it (4253)

On 11/15/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by omgdesdes (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML

#21304109
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29878) - you deserved it (2888)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my dad if he thought my dress was nice, and if guys would go for me. He replied, "Shit, depends on how drunk they are." FML

#21303377
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29854) - you deserved it (3982)

On 11/21/2014 at 3:07pm - misc - by Veronica - United States (California)

Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML

#21302690
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29789) - you deserved it (3248)

On 11/20/2014 at 11:20am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML

#21303819
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29761) - you deserved it (3560)

On 11/22/2014 at 10:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, it took a whole half hour of scratching my head before I realized with horror that the weird tickling sensation I'd been feeling was actually a spider crawling around in my hair. FML

#21302674
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29734) - you deserved it (2578)

On 11/20/2014 at 10:23am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was the fourth time I've had major dental work done, because my dentist messed up my root canal. After almost a dozen needles, three missed work days, over $1,000, and 2 broken tools, I only have a tiny, barely-successful filling to show for it. FML

#21301373
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29703) - you deserved it (2796)

On 11/18/2014 at 12:45pm - health - by hatemydentist - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was getting to second base with a really hot guy, but I couldn't stop laughing when he said my boobs were "soft like cake." He got so embarrassed that he lost his boner. FML

#21303170
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29715) - you deserved it (8404)

On 11/21/2014 at 4:56am - intimacy - by weirdthingtosay (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my supervisor was watching a video of his son. I heard a voice in the background and asked if it was Elmo. It was his wife. FML

#21302177
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29694) - you deserved it (4979)

On 11/19/2014 at 3:56pm - work - by bookworm - United States (Texas)

Today, I am 11 weeks pregnant and my husband has taken great glee in the fact that his horrible gas is enough to trigger my morning sickness. We're about to go on a long 12 hour drive. FML

#21302111
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29682) - you deserved it (2583)

On 11/19/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by honeybunny - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while lying in bed cuddling with my cat after getting stood up, I found out that even 80-year-old Charles Manson is engaged to be married. FML

#21301256
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29525) - you deserved it (3028)

On 11/18/2014 at 5:41am - love - by jessiejaybee (woman) - United States

Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML

#21293677
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29457) - you deserved it (13297)

On 11/06/2014 at 8:55pm - animals - by dwood08 - United States (New York)



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