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March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while shaving my nether regions, I slipped and sliced myself in three separate places. They won't completely stop bleeding. I'm virtually having a second period, and it hurts to close my legs. FML

#20555131
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32783) - you deserved it (7005)

On 03/22/2013 at 3:15pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Calabria)

Today, I was late to a lecture when I tripped up the stairs. With a few hundred people already staring and laughing at me, I started to curtsy to my "adoring fans" but instead fell backwards down the massive flight of stairs. FML

#20559000
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32729) - you deserved it (11031)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML

#20538947
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32656) - you deserved it (2594)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by marcymoo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out through his Facebook update and a text message that my fiancé demoted me to girlfriend status. I was sitting in the next room. FML

#20547323
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32608) - you deserved it (2898)

On 03/17/2013 at 6:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML

#20540639
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32557) - you deserved it (2907)

On 03/12/2013 at 10:05am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had to convince my 20-year-old boyfriend that not only is his aquatic turtle a reptile, but that it's also cold-blooded and thus can't regulate its own temperature just by going into its shell. He still thinks I'm the stupid one. FML

#20563428
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32521) - you deserved it (4512)

On 03/28/2013 at 4:19am - animals - by hellostupid (woman) - United States

Today, I casually mentioned to my mom that my boyfriend of two years and I were thinking about moving in together. She looked me dead in the eye and said if I ever moved out, she'd throw me out of the house. I'm confused. FML

Today, I found out that the lump in my wrist that keeps getting inflamed and sore is caused by sketching and using my laptop too much. Good thing I'm in my fourth year of studying to become a designer. FML

#20546879
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32422) - you deserved it (2854)

On 03/16/2013 at 11:08pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after house-sitting for a week, I came home to find the house in which I rent a basement suite has all but burned to the ground. My landlord didn't even bother to tell me about the fire. FML

#20533456
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32343) - you deserved it (1934)

On 03/06/2013 at 12:18pm - misc - by evilsandwich (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to present a project for my science class. I began explaining my project; looking at all the bored people, I got incredibly nervous. My nervousness then caused me to laugh hysterically, causing my classmates to laugh. My teacher felt sorry for me and told me to sit down. FML

Today, I found out my girlfriend can do Heath Ledger's "Joker" voice perfectly. I'm not sure if I should be scared or impressed. FML

#20529319
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32287) - you deserved it (6480)

On 03/03/2013 at 11:05am - love - by nerdgirlmickey (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, to avoid a massive delay on our scheduled flight at the airport, we were generously moved to an earlier flight home. An hour later, our new flight had been cancelled and they told us we'd be stuck at the airport overnight. Our original flight took off fine. FML

#20527906
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32241) - you deserved it (3241)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:14am - misc - by melyeah - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. The movie was in 3D, and he couldn't help but notice it would be much cooler if you could feel what the characters did. He spent the next two hours slapping me every time the person in the movie did, claiming the movie would be "better". FML

#20542280
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32236) - you deserved it (5794)

On 03/13/2013 at 5:06pm - misc - by bruised - Canada (New Brunswick)



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