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March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I learned that if not for my grandfather gifting my dad $200, I would have been named Anthrax. FML

#20552804
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31439) - you deserved it (2457)

On 03/20/2013 at 9:11pm - misc - by cheeseburglar_9000 (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML

#20538947
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31432) - you deserved it (2480)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by marcymoo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31287) - you deserved it (5897)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software on my 11-year-old son's laptop after I caught him watching porn. Barely an hour after returning the laptop, I caught him watching yet more porn on it. FML

#20557646
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31228) - you deserved it (12735)

On 03/24/2013 at 6:30am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that the man I just married doesn't want to have children. We had this conversation multiple times with no problems before getting married, but now he would "rather die" than have children, because according to him, they would ruin his life. FML

#20527672
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31143) - you deserved it (5142)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:05am - love - by bummer.. (woman) - United States

Today, I had to present a project for my science class. I began explaining my project; looking at all the bored people, I got incredibly nervous. My nervousness then caused me to laugh hysterically, causing my classmates to laugh. My teacher felt sorry for me and told me to sit down. FML

Today, my girlfriend left me because our "political views don't match" when I told her we needed to share house chores now that we live together. I know, I'm lost too. FML

#20551507
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31140) - you deserved it (2548)

On 03/19/2013 at 10:08pm - love - by dca101 (man) - United States

Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML

#20537800
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31133) - you deserved it (8306)

On 03/10/2013 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my cat learned the hard way what the bathtub is for. While I was in it. FML

#20560819
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31128) - you deserved it (3546)

On 03/26/2013 at 10:22am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my grandmother has been complaining that I spend too much on food, so I started cooking food from scratch. I happily showed her my recipe book and encouraged her to try a few. She then mocked me for wasting time by not buying frozen food. FML

#20554757
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30992) - you deserved it (3100)

On 03/22/2013 at 6:49am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up with a giant red rash all over my face, so puffed up that I could hardly open my eyes. The doctor said it was probably from some of the compounds found in most makeup. I'm just getting into theatre and have auditions coming up. FML

#20549343
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30831) - you deserved it (3593)

On 03/18/2013 at 2:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I finally built up the courage to quit my job. I waited an hour to speak to the boss; I finally sat down with her, and she told me I had to be let go because I'm not "reliable enough." The only time I missed work was when I had the stomach flu. I was fired before I could even quit. FML

#20554644
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30793) - you deserved it (3018)

On 03/22/2013 at 2:13am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a man I once worked with passed away. He was a lovely, caring, and inspirational person whom I looked up to. My husband's form of consolation? "Old people die. Get over it." FML

#20538776
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30781) - you deserved it (3568)

On 03/10/2013 at 10:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)



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