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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it's my first day at a new school. I transferred here halfway through the year to get away from a girl who bullies me. She's apparently bullied her mom into transferring her here as well. FML

#20513405
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42459) - you deserved it (2913)

On 02/19/2013 at 12:05pm - misc - by SchoolSucks (woman) - United States

Today, while using a public restroom to change my tampon, I made eye contact with someone looking at me through the little space in the door. FML

#20496769
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42034) - you deserved it (2593)

On 02/07/2013 at 4:51am - misc - by fviz (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

#20505342
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42026) - you deserved it (4683)

On 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at my mother's funeral, as everyone was around her casket for the viewing, my 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted, "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried. FML

#20521929
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41382) - you deserved it (3419)

On 02/25/2013 at 6:00pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML

#20508270
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41067) - you deserved it (9797)

On 02/15/2013 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by Acolyte of the Bacon God (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, the attractive guy I barely speak to in my statistics class gave me a rose for Valentine's Day because he remembered they were my favorite. My husband got me a roll of quarters and told me to go buy myself "something pretty." FML

#20507681
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41030) - you deserved it (4001)

On 02/15/2013 at 1:07am - love - by RosesAreRed (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the n-word. FML

#20507523
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41013) - you deserved it (8669)

On 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

#20503125
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40920) - you deserved it (8181)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by thefriedman (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML

#20491476
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40200) - you deserved it (4889)

On 02/03/2013 at 11:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Serbia

Today, after 2 weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML

#20490079
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40035) - you deserved it (9236)

On 02/02/2013 at 9:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, whilst on a phone interview with a college I really want to go to, my mother picks up the other line and shouts into the phone "She's not going to college, she's lazy and she'll only disappoint you." The interviewer hung up before I could say anything. FML

#20508072
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39652) - you deserved it (2635)

On 02/15/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by parentalissues (woman) - United States

Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML

#20514475
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39615) - you deserved it (5567)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:55am - intimacy - by jealouspussy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39448) - you deserved it (10401)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)



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