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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went shopping with my two-year-old nephew. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the store because I would not show him my "boobies". A man came up to us and said I should do what my nephew wanted. FML

Today, while at the store with my mom, we ran into the girl I recently confessed to being interested in. My mom decided to shout, "IS THAT HER?! IS THAT THE GIRL YOU LIKE?!" Embarrassed, I desperately told her to be quiet. She grounded me for being "rude" to her. FML

#20508609
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35845) - you deserved it (3423)

On 02/15/2013 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Lombardia)

Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML

#20494543
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35805) - you deserved it (3277)

On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

#20514612
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35715) - you deserved it (4810)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:01am - kids - by Laila - United States

Today, my very conservative mom met my girlfriend, who recently shaved her head in support of her best friend, who has cancer. My girlfriend looks beautiful and feminine even with her still very short hair. My mom, however, keeps insisting that I'm dating "a confused transgender". FML

#20519321
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35687) - you deserved it (2334)

On 02/23/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after being in the hospital for 2 weeks after emergency abdominal surgery, my girlfriend, who didn't even bother to ask how I was, made me hobble to her house just to dump me and send me straight back home. FML

#20511268
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35686) - you deserved it (2605)

On 02/17/2013 at 8:28pm - love - by noname - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the market to buy some groceries. Before I got even half-way home, a guy stormed toward me, pulled what looked like a knife, and chased me around the block while screaming that he'd kill me for sleeping with his wife. Nope, still a 15-year-old virgin here. FML

#20506765
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35526) - you deserved it (2231)

On 02/14/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia (Ash Sharqiyah)

Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML

#20510821
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35497) - you deserved it (5379)

On 02/17/2013 at 2:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Botswana (North-East)

Today, I actually considered my boyfriend romantic and deserving of an award when he didn't fart after sex. FML

#20488602
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35400) - you deserved it (6288)

On 02/01/2013 at 2:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom called me a "heartless bitch" for eating the last Hot Pocket. This is coming from a woman who, just last week, faked having cancer to get out of a speeding ticket. FML

#20511194
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35375) - you deserved it (2193)

On 02/17/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by DontGetSlapped - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I found out that my mom has linked my iPhone with her iPad and has been secretly reading my texts. FML

#20524792
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35335) - you deserved it (3754)

On 02/27/2013 at 7:27pm - misc - by segal1010 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I walked 6 miles to see my girlfriend. After 5 and a half miles, she broke up with me because I never visit her. FML

#20517252
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35270) - you deserved it (3505)

On 02/22/2013 at 5:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancakes for her. FML

#20524572
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35224) - you deserved it (7253)

On 02/27/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Ugh (woman) - United Kingdom



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