Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she could not stand the thought of being in a relationship with a man who wears orange. This is the first time I've worn an orange shirt in at least 6 months. FML

#20521313
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32248) - you deserved it (3197)

On 02/25/2013 at 3:33am - love - by vat (man) - Hong Kong

Today, my friends confronted me and told me that they no longer want to visit my house because my dog smells really disgusting. I didn't have the heart to tell them that the smell is actually my parents, who have been trying to "save water" by only showering once a fortnight. FML

#20525408
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32041) - you deserved it (2762)

On 02/28/2013 at 5:56am - misc - by sickofthesmelltoo (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after nearly six weeks of seeing a nice girl, we finally decided to make it official. Two hours later, she pulled out a bridal magazine and not-so-casually asked me which wedding location I thought was the nicest. FML

#20517490
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32026) - you deserved it (3948)

On 02/22/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I discovered the true meaning of being scared shitless. My father in a clown costume emerged from my closet. Needless to say something emerged from me. FML

Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish bi-product. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML

#20502144
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31888) - you deserved it (3940)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:48am - animals - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, while at work, my ex-boyfriend came in. I pretended not to see him, hoping he would just pass on by. No such luck. He stopped to tell me that he was there for orientation. My company hired him. FML

#20519937
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31841) - you deserved it (2935)

On 02/24/2013 at 8:56am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML

#20503942
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31814) - you deserved it (2643)

On 02/12/2013 at 6:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML

#20489987
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31786) - you deserved it (20486)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by ineedalife (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen. As I excitedly put it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it like one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable". FML

#20488292
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31781) - you deserved it (4111)

On 01/31/2013 at 10:35pm - love - by whatsername92 (woman) - United States

Today, after half a year of flirting back and forth, I went to a fancy party thrown by the guy I really like. He met me at the door and introduced me to everyone as, "the lovely Meghan". I thought I finally had a chance, until he introduced me to his girlfriend of five years. FML

#20516708
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31705) - you deserved it (5328)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:33pm - love - by Meghan (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

#20495511
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31622) - you deserved it (4455)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

#20499722
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31610) - you deserved it (4384)

On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML

#20521518
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31424) - you deserved it (3470)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



Caleb Taylor's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #14
  • We're back! Hooray! It's the month of May and time once again to dig around the FML postbag to see what wonders of the English language we can find. Like a sculptor making a statue out of a block of marble,…

Wednesday 20 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: