Today, I was washing the dishes at work. I had to pee really bad but first I wanted to finish the dishes. A coworker jumped out from behind the ice machine. I screamed like a girl and pissed my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19726) - you deserved it (3580)
On 02/03/2013 at 10:50pm - work - by klovemachine (man) - United States
Today, during a sleepover at my friend's house, I woke up in the middle of the night with a dire need to pee. As I walked in the dark to the bathroom, I saw a silhouette in a doorway and instictively screamed. Turns out it was my friend's sister's One Direction cutout. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19704) - you deserved it (3013)
On 02/28/2013 at 2:00pm - misc - by Neversleepingthereagain (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19651) - you deserved it (5180)
On 02/22/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I had to leave my ACT prep class ten minutes in to pick up my drunken father from his best friend's baby shower. I picked him up along with a bill for the damage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19464) - you deserved it (1229)
On 02/01/2013 at 10:26am - misc - by kylie18xx21 (woman) - United States
Today, I had to use a dictionary before I realized I was being flirted with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19437) - you deserved it (7484)
On 02/14/2013 at 6:01am - love - by lex - United States
Today, my hairdresser apologised because he couldn't distinguish the hair from the back of my head from the hair from my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19430) - you deserved it (6174) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/14/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Edgarillo - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)
Today, I got married on Skyrim. To an elf. While in real life, my love life is floundering like a half-dead carp in the surf on a hot day. So much so in fact that I actually draw a measure of comfort from being married to an elf. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19429) - you deserved it (8656)
On 02/11/2013 at 2:19am - love - by mr_loveless (man) - United States
Today, I went back home after seeing the doctor, I told my boyfriend my new medicine might cause some mood swings. He immediately grabbed his phone and pretended to take a call, then rushed out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19357) - you deserved it (2629)
On 02/21/2013 at 8:21pm - health - by NewDrugs (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went to the local pet store to purchase a large dog bed so my dog wouldn't sleep in mine. After I got home and set up her bed, I realized I forgot to buy dog treats. When I came home again, her new bed was torn to shreds, and she was still sleeping on my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19328) - you deserved it (3770)
On 02/10/2013 at 8:51pm - animals - by akasoor - Canada (Alberta)
Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19321) - you deserved it (36098)
On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by think i'm dating perdix (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19131) - you deserved it (2403)
On 02/12/2013 at 8:18am - animals - by Stoopiddogbot (woman) - United Kingdom (Swansea)
Today, my dad lost his mind over the meteorite incident in Russia. He's convinced that it's part of some big government conspiracy to cover up a UFO crash-landing, and now he won't stop dismissively calling us "sheep" and telling us "do the research" just because we don't agree with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19019) - you deserved it (1925)
On 02/15/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by dadsadipshit - United States
Today, a tenant in my apartment block told me about a nice shady place behind our building where he often goes to relax. Curious, I went looking for it. It was a quiet and secluded courtyard. At least until a man came out of nowhere waving a hammer in my face, screaming in a foreign language. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18991) - you deserved it (2403)
On 02/06/2013 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Monday 17 June 2013
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