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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML

#20492510
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30488) - you deserved it (5413)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I hired out a motel room so I could stay there by myself and lie to my mother and grandmother about having friends. This is the third time. FML

#20492687
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30424) - you deserved it (13732)

On 02/04/2013 at 2:45am - love - by lonelyloser - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

#20499722
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30411) - you deserved it (4260)

On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML

#20521518
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30373) - you deserved it (3377)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my bosses for three weeks off in July to go on a much-needed vacation. Their response was to fire me on the spot. My bosses are my aunt and uncle. FML

#20489213
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30268) - you deserved it (3471)

On 02/01/2013 at 5:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Romania (Cluj)

Today, while I was studying for an exam, my younger sister came home extremely drunk and threw up all over herself and her bed. I later got grounded for not setting a better example. FML

#20525412
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30253) - you deserved it (2139)

On 02/28/2013 at 6:02am - misc - by catdog552 - United States

Today, I discovered that when you suddenly get channels that you didn't have before, it doesn't mean there was a glitch and you're getting free TV, it just means that your son called the cable company and had your plan changed so you get every conceivable channel at a hugely increased price. FML

#20515174
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30226) - you deserved it (4398)

On 02/20/2013 at 5:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML

#20511774
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30196) - you deserved it (2912)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML

#20503942
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30184) - you deserved it (2505)

On 02/12/2013 at 6:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

#20518354
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30119) - you deserved it (2957)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to take a jog in an area we never been before. We then got lost. She actually thought that the tattoo on her arm of an open compass with north, east, south, and west would help us. FML

#20510517
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30101) - you deserved it (5518)

On 02/17/2013 at 9:27am - misc - by omgstuupidd - United States (New York)

Today, after being in the hospital for 2 weeks after emergency abdominal surgery, my girlfriend, who didn't even bother to ask how I was, made me hobble to her house just to dump me and send me straight back home. FML

#20511268
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30073) - you deserved it (1631)

On 02/17/2013 at 8:28pm - love - by noname - United States (New York)

Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact both of my roommates are aware of. FML

#20521168
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30041) - you deserved it (3184)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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