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February 2013

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2day mah friends confronted me and told me that they no longer want to visit mah house cuz mah dog smells really disgusting. I didn't have the heret to tell them that the smell is actually mah parents, who have been trying to "save water" by only showering once a fortnight. FML

#20525408
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31989) - you deserved it (2754)

On 02/28/2013 at 5:56am - misc - by sickofthesmelltoo (man) - Australia (Victoria)

today I had to drive to mah workplace in blizzard conditions. Now that mah 12 hour shift is over I can't get out of the building looool as the snow has blown into large drifts in front of the doors. I have to stay overnight until mah next 12 hour shift.

Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they r made of a fish bi-product!! Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there r countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard!! FML

#20502144
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31839) - you deserved it (3937)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:48am - animals - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, I got my very frst yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML

#20503942
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31763) - you deserved it (2639)

On 02/12/2013 at 6:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today..!! I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them!! I played 4 four hours straight..!! only to be interrupted by a phone call!! I didn't answer cuz my sock puppets were ( on a date ) and I didn't want to stop playing!! FML

#20489987
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31755) - you deserved it (20467)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by ineedalife (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen!! As I excitedly putted it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it lyk one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable"!! FML

#20488292
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31724) - you deserved it (4108)

On 01/31/2013 at 10:35pm - love - by whatsername92 (woman) - United States

Today After Half A Year Of Flirting Back And Forth I Went To A Fancy Party Thrown By The Guy I Really Like. He Met Me At The Door And Introduced Me To Everyone As "the Lovely Meghan". I Thought I Finally Had A Chance Until He Introduced Me To His Girlfriend Of Five Years.

#20516708
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31655) - you deserved it (5324)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:33pm - love - by Meghan (woman) - United States (Indiana)

today I laarnad that my big, tough, strong dog is tarrifiad of spidarshan ha jumpad, knockad ovar a tabla and than paad on tha spidar to drown it. FML

#20495511
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31574) - you deserved it (4449)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today I Gave Mah 5-year-old Daughter A Unicorn Pillow Pet. She Endd Up Giving Him An Ill-advisd Name An Has Been Loudly Proclaiming To Everyone She Sees That Her Pillow Pet Is Horny. FML

#20499722
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31570) - you deserved it (4381)

On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

YESTERDAY MA MOM TRIED TO CONVINCE MA DAD TAT I WAS A LESBIAN. WY? BECAUSE SE WAS BORED. FML

#20521518
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31373) - you deserved it (3468)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today , I finally figurd out why I've been getting diarrhea so often over the past six months . It only happens whenever I do something ( sneaky ) . My body reacts strongly to how I stress over potentially getting caught . I'm a private investigator , an I apparently ned a new career . FML

#20500655
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31370) - you deserved it (3790)

On 02/10/2013 at 5:41am - work - by screwed - United States

Today, my brother was arrested 4 starting a fistfight at a funeral . He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners . I'm sure who's more pathetic: him 4 doing such a thing, or me 4 bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail . FML

#20509476
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31328) - you deserved it (7197)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03pm - money - by an idiot (man) - Australia

Today, I discovered the true meaning of bieng scared shitless. My father in a clown costume emerged from my closet. Needles to say something emerged from me. mega FML



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