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2day mah friends confronted me and told me that they no longer want to visit mah house cuz mah dog smells really disgusting. I didn't have the heret to tell them that the smell is actually mah parents, who have been trying to "save water" by only showering once a fortnight. FML
today I had to drive to mah workplace in blizzard conditions. Now that mah 12 hour shift is over I can't get out of the building looool as the snow has blown into large drifts in front of the doors. I have to stay overnight until mah next 12 hour shift.
Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they r made of a fish bi-product!! Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there r countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard!! FML
Today..!! I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them!! I played 4 four hours straight..!! only to be interrupted by a phone call!! I didn't answer cuz my sock puppets were ( on a date ) and I didn't want to stop playing!! FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen!! As I excitedly putted it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it lyk one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable"!! FML
Today After Half A Year Of Flirting Back And Forth I Went To A Fancy Party Thrown By The Guy I Really Like. He Met Me At The Door And Introduced Me To Everyone As "the Lovely Meghan". I Thought I Finally Had A Chance Until He Introduced Me To His Girlfriend Of Five Years.
Today , I finally figurd out why I've been getting diarrhea so often over the past six months . It only happens whenever I do something ( sneaky ) . My body reacts strongly to how I stress over potentially getting caught . I'm a private investigator , an I apparently ned a new career . FML
Today, my brother was arrested 4 starting a fistfight at a funeral . He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners . I'm sure who's more pathetic: him 4 doing such a thing, or me 4 bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail . FML
Friday 27 March 2015