Today, for the second time this week, I was asked to stop putting on such an obviously fake "British" accent. I am British and have lived here all my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27260) - you deserved it (1855)
On 02/19/2013 at 1:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27241) - you deserved it (3271)
On 02/20/2013 at 1:55am - intimacy - by jealouspussy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while my mother-in-law visited, I asked if she wouldn't mind watching my son for 10 minutes as I had run out of baby shampoo. I came back home to see she had shaved his head completely bald. That was his very first haircut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27147) - you deserved it (1695)
On 02/05/2013 at 5:48pm - kids - by missedout (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was so exhausted that I slept through my phone ringing, and later my doorbell ringing. My psycho mom freaked out, and thinking I was in trouble, broke a window to get inside. This all happened before 7am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27077) - you deserved it (2034)
On 02/20/2013 at 3:33pm - misc - by annoyed - United States (Arizona)
Today, I finally confronted my bully. Too bad it was at my high school reunion and he beat the shit out of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26846) - you deserved it (3496)
On 02/13/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, a co-worker invited me to go out for lunch with him. I politely declined, saying I had too many errands to do. The truth is that I'm just too broke. I'll be buying myself a burrito using quarters I found on the floor of my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26824) - you deserved it (1923)
On 02/21/2013 at 3:45pm - money - by AKGrace (woman) - United States (Alaska)
Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26805) - you deserved it (1616)
On 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Target - United States
Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26778) - you deserved it (5001)
On 02/24/2013 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I hurt my back while exercising. I can't bend over or lift my arms above my head without intense pain. My husband, however, finds my situation hilarious and has moved everything I use frequently to either the floor or high shelf. He giggles every time I try to retrieve anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26765) - you deserved it (2490)
On 02/06/2013 at 4:05pm - health - by AplJax3 (woman) - United States
Today, I was trying to be sexy and change in front of my boyfriend. As I was changing, he started to talk to me about how we should both try and lose weight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26757) - you deserved it (5330)
On 02/26/2013 at 3:26pm - love - by pooh anne (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26738) - you deserved it (7372)
On 02/09/2013 at 12:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26671) - you deserved it (7264)
On 02/15/2013 at 12:42am - animals - by bettercallpeta - United States
Today, I had to drive to my workplace in blizzard conditions. Now that my 12 hour shift is over, I can't get out of the building, as the snow has blown into large drifts in front of the doors. I have to stay overnight until my next 12 hour shift. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26632) - you deserved it (1503)
On 02/09/2013 at 7:39am - work - by sonnyrosa (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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