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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant with a horribly sore back and an insensitive husband. I'm so desperate 4 relief that I'm lying on the couch, using my vibrator to give myself a back massage. FML

#20523063
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35012) - you deserved it (4302)

On 02/26/2013 at 2:11pm - misc - by guyssuck (woman) - Canada (Northwest Territories)

Today, I found out I'm pragnant. It's okay, I know who tha fathar is: my ax-boyfriand, who movd to Japan last waak. FML

Today, mah boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, mah boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond."

#20494997
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34719) - you deserved it (6705)

On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, mah husband decidd to start seieng other people . I found out when I calld an interruptd his date . FML

#20495369
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34614) - you deserved it (2269)

On 02/06/2013 at 3:04am - love - by MyLife (woman) -

TODAY I POINTD OUT TO MAH BOYFRIEND HOW VALENTINE'S DAY, MAH BIRTHDAY, AN OUR ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY WERE ALL COMING UP IN THE NEXT FEW WEEKS. HE THEN PROMPTLY BROKE UP WITH ME. FML

#20497809
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34566) - you deserved it (8219)

On 02/08/2013 at 1:24am - love - by katelynm - United States

TODAY, I CUMMED HOME FROM A TWO-WEEK VACATION. WHEN I WALKED INTO MY HOUSE, I FOUND CAT POOP EVERYWHERE. IT TOOK ME SEVERAL HOURS TO CLEAN IT ALL UP, AND THE HOUSE STILL SMELLS TERRIBLE. THE WORST PART IS THAT I'VE NEVER OWNED A CAT IN MY LIFE. REAL FML

#20500118
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34557) - you deserved it (2135)

On 02/09/2013 at 8:39pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Taday I heard from mah dad 4 the frst time in over six months. It was through Facebook in a message blaming mah brothers and me 4 his horrible life and in which he spelled mah name wrong. FML

#20521678
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34502) - you deserved it (2210)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant!! My husband had a vasectomy this past summer after our son was born an only took one of the two tests!! I haven't cheatd!! He refuses to believe me or get his spunk checkd again!! FML

#20500417
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34469) - you deserved it (3297)

On 02/10/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by Totallyscrewed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I told my parents thathat I'd really like for my 21st birthday is the 1865 edition of the Memoirs of Saint-Simon in 22 volumes that I found online for $200, an have been wanting for months. They laughed an said, "Yeah, right. We'll get you an iPhone an perhaps you'll become normal." FML

#20488681
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34389) - you deserved it (9154)

On 02/01/2013 at 4:19am - misc - by HistoryFreak (woman) - France

today I was draggd to a Super Bowl party. Wile tere... te ost's kid trew 3 cups of apple sauce at ma feet... wic ten explodd an coverd ma jeans. 10 minutes later... te ost's wife announcd tat se was pregnant wit twins. All I could come up wit was... "You're making more!?" big fat FML

#20492510
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34378) - you deserved it (5934)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I saw my niegbor's delinquent kid sooting squirrels wit a BB gun. Sockd and furious at is cruel beavior, I told im to stop, wit te treat of telling is parents. He respondd by sooting me in te nuts and running away in a fit of laugter. big fat FML

#20507650
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34301) - you deserved it (10123)

On 02/15/2013 at 12:42am - animals - by bettercallpeta - United States

Today, I Met My Grlfriend's Parents For The Frst Time. As I Shook Her Father's Hand, He Squeezed With An Ungodly Amount Of Force, Leaned In With A Smile, And Murmured That My Balls Will Be The Next Thing He'll Crush If His Daughter Ever Complains About Me. FML

#20511181
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34131) - you deserved it (5293)

On 02/17/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by daniel55 (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while at church, I receivd a text from mah girlfriend, saying, "It's not working. We're over." Not only was mah phone not on silent mode, I was sitting directly beside mah now ex-girlfriend. FML

#20511071
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34094) - you deserved it (4101)

On 02/17/2013 at 5:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Szeged)



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