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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML

#20450908
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35751) - you deserved it (2962)

On 01/09/2013 at 10:15pm - love - by wtf dad - United States (Missouri)

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35660) - you deserved it (3475)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

#20466086
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35498) - you deserved it (3705)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States

Today, marks the sixth day in a row that my mum has called me to discuss my upcoming wedding. She's obsessed and has intimidated the actual planner I hired into going along with her plans. She's slipped up twice already and accidentally referred to it as her own wedding. Just great. FML

#20453938
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35477) - you deserved it (3685)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:19pm - love - by fuck you, mum (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML

#20458321
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35380) - you deserved it (3091)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me he wanted to learn Korean before Spanish. Apparently, being able to sing along to Gangnam Style is more important to him than being able to speak with my family. FML

#20453278
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35277) - you deserved it (6904)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:24am - love - by Latina (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my school's ski trip got canceled, because "All the snow makes the roads unsafe." We can't go skiing because it's snowing. FML

#20478441
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35106) - you deserved it (2900)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years, whose reaction was to pretend to take a phone call. FML

#20453131
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35053) - you deserved it (3367)

On 01/11/2013 at 1:46am - love - by proposal fail - United States

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

#20478275
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35040) - you deserved it (5940)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, a girl I follow on Twitter tweeted, "Why can't I have a cute math tutor?" I'm her math tutor. FML

#20459715
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34866) - you deserved it (3730)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mum got a new blender. Dinner was roast beef, broccoli, cauliflower, pumpkin, potatoes and water. In a cup. FML

#20487313
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34789) - you deserved it (2402)

On 01/31/2013 at 5:28am - health - by I'maboutobarf - Australia

Today, I found my dogs freezing outside. My neighbor was supposed to watch them while I was away, and on my way home I called to let her know she should let them have a quick walk. She thought I'd be home soon enough that she wouldn't have to let them back in. It was minus 10c out. FML

#20436199
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34772) - you deserved it (3835)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:35pm - animals - by Enyo - Reserved

Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML

#20438667
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34740) - you deserved it (3131)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:59pm - love - by great. -



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