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December 2012

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Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

#20417936
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15213) - you deserved it (35130)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

yesterday I had a look through mah dad's grlfriend's phone she left on the table. Best part: I now know wat I'm getting 4 christmas. Worst part: I now know mah dad's favourite position. FML

#20413212
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14297) - you deserved it (69950)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, after ranting to my boyfriend about how Pandora bracelets are pointless an clichd an that I'd never spend that kind of money on a tiny charm, he gave me my Christmas present. It was a Pandora bracelet. FML

Today , I unwrappd my present and , to my surprise , I had gotten a repair manual for my truck. Apparently , my parents are ( Trd of seeing that piece of shit in front of our house. ) FML

#20423026
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13350) - you deserved it (20433)

On 12/26/2012 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today , my friend an I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool , I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out an ran onto the deck , slipping an falling flat on my back. Her dad saw thehole thing. FML

#20407433
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13102) - you deserved it (32823)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today , I was in the mall fir the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walkd past Santa he askd me , ( Why does Santa look different today )? Not thinking , I said , ( Because each mall has a different Santa. ) FML

#20405502
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13051) - you deserved it (32912)

On 12/18/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by I said whaat -

Today, I was racing my friends to the car 4 shotgun in the parking lot at night. I opened the passenger door of the car to find an old lady staring at me. It was the wrong car. FML

#20427324
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13011) - you deserved it (31501)

On 12/28/2012 at 3:14am - misc - by Anon - United States (Connecticut)

Today during a conversation mah boss said "What what?" Before I could stop myself I replid "In the butt." FML

#20191552
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12021) - you deserved it (28253)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today... mah extended family came over for Christmas. I forgot to get a present for mah extremely sensitive aunt. I took a gift from mah re-gift pile and wrapped it quickly. Little did I remember that it was the same gift she gave me last year. She noticed. fat FML

#20421236
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11571) - you deserved it (37329)

On 12/25/2012 at 12:45pm - misc - by Christmasloverandstuff - United States

Today... my boyfriend and I had a disagreement over looool the pronunciation of the word "train." It turned into a heated debate that lasted all night and ended with us sleeping in separate rooms. FML

Today I was drunk at a party an confessed my love fir my crush an told her how I felt . According to my friends I made out with another girl not long after my confession . FML

#20412747
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11510) - you deserved it (45781)

On 12/22/2012 at 12:01am - love - by Stupid Drunk - United States

Today, I took a relaxing bat, but got te book I was reading sligtly wet wen getting out. I putted it on top of te towel dryer after delicately saking it. Five minutes later, I eard a splas; I went into te batroom to find tat my book ad toppled into te toilet bowl. FML

#20403223
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11427) - you deserved it (23511)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by LemmyIsWet (man) - United States

Today, mah girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. mega FML

#20199046
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11351) - you deserved it (38405)

On 12/10/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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