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December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML

#20192329
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21702) - you deserved it (3722)

On 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm - health - by Emily - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

#20197946
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21618) - you deserved it (7171)

On 12/09/2012 at 4:52pm - love - by HOLY SHIT, A WALKING SNOWGLOBE (man) - United Kingdom (Barking and Dagenham)

Today, it's my sixth day taking care of my family's seven animals while my parents are in Singapore. So far, I've emergency-called the vet twice, taken a dog to the vet once, and cleaned up liquid dog shit five times. FML

#20197436
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21552) - you deserved it (2390)

On 12/09/2012 at 8:18am - animals - by KennyDidIt - United States (Alabama)

Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML

#20432522
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21490) - you deserved it (16497)

On 12/30/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by fuckinghicks (man) - United States

Today, in my AP Biology class, a student informed us she'd read that Antarctica had completely melted due to global warming, to which my friend gushed, "Yeah! It's been melted for, like, months." FML

#20193921
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21443) - you deserved it (1849)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:47pm - misc - by bieberslayer (woman) - United States

Today, I started a new job. I'm now trapped in a small office with a woman who says, "Oh my gravy!" constantly. In response to everything. FML

#20201125
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21426) - you deserved it (1826)

On 12/11/2012 at 9:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I saw a photo on Instagram of my friend flipping the camera the bird. She'd tagged it under "irony", so I jokingly suggested that she borrow a dictionary. She responded with a tirade of abuse, claimed to be sleeping with my boyfriend, and blocked me an hour later. FML

#20398380
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21275) - you deserved it (3058)

On 12/13/2012 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML

#20431454
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21272) - you deserved it (41398)

On 12/30/2012 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my roommate pressed "snooze" on his alarm 14 times. I counted. FML

#20200321
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21226) - you deserved it (2186)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by roommateprobssss:( - United States

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21147) - you deserved it (1642)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, after an extensive talk with a relationship counselor, we concluded that I'm more likely to get run over by a car than be in a stable relationship. FML

#20397555
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21071) - you deserved it (2716)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:01am - love - by Hit-and-Run - Mexico (Chihuahua)

Today, I had to create a perfect society in English class; the best society has their grade go up a full letter. After tons of preparation and thinking, I lost to an island made only of cheese. FML

#20200774
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21072) - you deserved it (1938)

On 12/11/2012 at 6:03pm - misc - by JPPUDLY (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML

#20188543
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20993) - you deserved it (2710)

On 12/02/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by :/ (woman) - United States (California)



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