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November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML

#20156617
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21411) - you deserved it (2801)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:16pm - health - by dating a fking cnt (man) - Canada

Today, my deranged wife somehow became convinced that vampires actually exist. She's now walking around with garlic powder caked into her clothing. I can't get the smell out of my nostrils. FML

#20147303
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21201) - you deserved it (2167)

On 11/04/2012 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I finally met the girl I've been talking to on phone for a while and found her charming in person as well. There's just one problem: she has more facial hair than I do. FML

#20159578
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21175) - you deserved it (6192)

On 11/11/2012 at 9:16pm - love - by x (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after spending 3 hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML

#20163199
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21158) - you deserved it (1644)

On 11/14/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by racking-leaves - United States

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

#20169381
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21108) - you deserved it (17497)

On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21092) - you deserved it (3722)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

#20176364
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21046) - you deserved it (7388)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, and anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in my quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML

#20184036
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21038) - you deserved it (27787)

On 11/29/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by comeuntome (woman) - United States

Today, I was so bored with my job at McDonald's that I actually hoped someone would come in and make a huge mess for me to clean. No one did. FML

#20173284
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21018) - you deserved it (3843)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:44am - work - by Ophelia - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML

#20159898
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20958) - you deserved it (1711)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:25am - health - by KtSue - United States

Today, a customer smiled, looked me in the eye and described to me in graphic detail the swelling that occurred to his nuts after his vasectomy. FML

#20142730
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20704) - you deserved it (1714)

On 11/01/2012 at 9:52am - work - by tmi. - Australia

Today, I finally got to attend the concert I have been anticipating for weeks. The band was great. The drunk guy sitting behind me yelling profanity and out of tune lyrics in my ear throughout the entire show, however, was not. FML

#20144110
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20651) - you deserved it (2023)

On 11/02/2012 at 6:37am - misc - by annoyed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

#20161557
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20552) - you deserved it (2030)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:00am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)



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