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November 2012

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Today, I started my new job as the only IT tech for my office. My first task: untangling the hundred mice the previous tech tied together for "fun". FML

by Anonymous / 11/06/2012 at 1:29pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, my parents kindly told me what they are getting me for my 18th birthday. An eviction notice. FML

by lea5459 / 11/20/2012 at 1:47am / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML

by jobsearching / 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Work

Today, my dad went through all the trouble of sneaking onto my laptop and photoshopping a bong into my Facebook profile picture, apparently just so he could win a €20 bet with my mom, that hinged on her grounding me by December. FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2012 at 1:55pm / Europe / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to delete my Facebook account. My older sister repeatedly called me in tears asking why I'm cutting her out of my life. It seems I can't get rid of social media without my family taking offence. FML

by Anonymous / 11/03/2012 at 6:02am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave a big presentation at work, hoping to impress my boss and angle for a promotion. I was already nervous, but a co-worker at the back kept making goofy faces, causing me to repeatedly break into laughter. My boss accused me of being high, and suspended me on the spot. FML

by YOUFUCKINGFUCKSOCK / 11/02/2012 at 8:23pm / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Work

Today, I had a booth at a very expensive craft show. My grandma came to show her support. While there, she managed to knock over my display, get in the way of potential buyers and take down a rather old lady when she supposedly stumbled. This all happened in the first five minutes she was there. FML

by soldnone / 11/18/2012 at 5:02am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML

by Drafty / 11/07/2012 at 4:30pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML

by poro123 / 11/05/2012 at 12:39am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I stepped outside the house with my wife. She looked up at the sky and asked me in all seriousness if stars are man-made. FML

by baby, baby no / 11/09/2012 at 1:39pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, I'm at work on a construction site for a high rise building, on the 12th floor today. I've developed a severe case of the runs, causing me to need to rush to the nearest toilet periodically. Luckily for me it's conveniently located on the ground floor. FML

by bob the builder / 11/08/2012 at 9:36am / United States (Mississippi) / Health

Today, a customer at the Walmart I work at had a hissy fit and began throwing merchandise everywhere, including at my face, because we are Canadian and don't have a show called "Extreme Couponing" for "devoted shoppers" like her. FML

by ohgodwhy / 11/27/2012 at 6:46pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML

by cowgirl / 11/06/2012 at 12:42am / Canada (Ontario) / Love