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November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was told I will be having twins; this came as a shock since there are no twins in my family. When I asked my mom about it, she said that she wasn't surprised and not to worry about it because she had "absorbed her twin" and that the problem would "take care of itself." FML

#20154574
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21621) - you deserved it (1710)

On 11/08/2012 at 1:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran across the street due to a line of cars waiting for me to cross. Just as I reached the other side, my iPhone slipped out of my hand and fell into the road, just in time to get run over by multiple cars, one after the other. FML

#20181219
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21525) - you deserved it (6781)

On 11/27/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by unknown - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I'm at work on a construction site for a high rise building, on the 12th floor today. I've developed a severe case of the runs, causing me to need to rush to the nearest toilet periodically. Luckily for me it's conveniently located on the ground floor. FML

#20154818
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21508) - you deserved it (1515)

On 11/08/2012 at 9:36am - health - by bob the builder - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was playing Apples to Apples with my girlfriend and a few others. The card that was drawn was labeled "pathetic". Among other cards that were laid down in attempts to be similar to "pathetic" was my girlfriend's card. She won with a create-a-card labeled "my sex life". FML

#20157215
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21478) - you deserved it (4559)

On 11/10/2012 at 6:02am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, after finally falling asleep, my boyfriend woke me up and got extremely mad at me. My offense? My pillow was touching his side of the bed. After yelling at me, he's now sleeping on the couch, and I'm lying in bed wide awake. FML

#20158574
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21434) - you deserved it (2598)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:26am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, a customer at the Walmart I work at had a hissy fit and began throwing merchandise everywhere, including at my face, because we are Canadian and don't have a show called "Extreme Couponing" for "devoted shoppers" like her. FML

#20181556
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21375) - you deserved it (1617)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:46pm - work - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML

#20156617
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21371) - you deserved it (2794)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:16pm - health - by dating a fking cnt (man) - Canada

Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML

#20153727
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21368) - you deserved it (7159)

On 11/07/2012 at 4:30pm - animals - by Drafty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my cat peed on my bra. I didn't realize this until after I arrived at work for my 12-hour shift. Now I'm trying to wash my bra out in the sink and stuff paper towels down it to soak up the moisture. Only 10 more hours to go, and the smell of cat pee is still lingering. FML

#20185014
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21368) - you deserved it (4163)

On 11/30/2012 at 3:33am - work - by onlyslightly (woman) - United States

Today, my mother-in-law moved in because she has a hip problem. I don't know what's worse, her constant complaining and slob like tendencies, or the eight cats she brought along with her. FML

#20154544
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21349) - you deserved it (1751)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:43am - misc - by David (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was woken up by my elderly neighbor banging on my door at 2am. She needed "urgent" assistance as she had forgotten how to turn her TV off. I'd just fallen asleep. FML

#20184989
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21317) - you deserved it (1635)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:29am - misc - by Rachael (woman) - Australia

Today, to help me get over my crippling social anxiety, my therapist encouraged me to sing in front of a crowd, since I actually have a fine singing voice. I ended up fainting onstage, mid-song. FML

#20146765
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21302) - you deserved it (1933)

On 11/04/2012 at 2:28am - misc - by Chuffy (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21039) - you deserved it (3714)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States



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