Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17801) - you deserved it (1549)
On 11/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was working in a call center when I smelled perfume. I'm allergic, and it triggered my asthma. When I came back, some jerk had sprayed it all over my work area. I couldn't go near it for the rest of my shift, therefore I had to go home early, and got my paycheck docked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17781) - you deserved it (1493)
On 11/02/2012 at 12:13am - work - by John - United States
Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair. After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought I was the new guy, and said I was going to be trained by "The long-haired girly-looking idiot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17777) - you deserved it (2325)
On 11/14/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found a wounded turkey in our backyard. I brought it inside, put it in a cage, and tended to its wounds. I then left. When I got back home, I smelled the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking. She had prepared a turkey, the one I'd rescued. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17753) - you deserved it (3360)
On 11/13/2012 at 6:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I threw up after drinking a smoothie my mother made me. She then called me "ungrateful" and "immature" for not liking what she spent a long time making for me. I later found out that not only did she use expired yogurt, it was also a mango smoothie, which I'm allergic to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17745) - you deserved it (991)
On 11/07/2012 at 6:28pm - health - by anon - United States
Today, while working at my local supermarket, I found a boy lost and wandering about, so I took him to the front desk. My reward from his mother was a slap around the face and harsh words for supposedly having kidnapped him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17673) - you deserved it (937)
On 11/29/2012 at 1:08pm - work - by bitch i'm a gerontophile (man) - Taiwan
Today, my boss called me Dave. Now everyone actually thinks my name is Dave. It's Nathan. I've been working there for 2 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17668) - you deserved it (1338)
On 11/27/2012 at 8:16am - work - by nato (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I cleaned his parents' whole house while they were out, just to be nice. When they came home, they assumed we only did it because we'd made some huge mess that we needed to hide. I'm now banned from their house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17668) - you deserved it (1348)
On 11/15/2012 at 6:34pm - love - by teea (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17663) - you deserved it (2444)
On 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm - kids - by john r.t. (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out I share a birthday with a fictional character who is "untrustworthy" and has a "dark side", so therefore I can't be trusted either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17659) - you deserved it (1343)
On 11/15/2012 at 12:48am - love - by B-Rad (man) - United States
Today, after being single for a while now, I unwillingly went on a blind date with a guy my friend convinced me would be perfect for me. He took me to McDonald's; his father was with him the whole entire time. He is 27. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17648) - you deserved it (1257)
On 11/26/2012 at 10:13pm - love - by N - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I ran into an old friend, and she remarked how she couldn't believe we hadn't seen each other in a year. Except not only did I attend her baby shower a few weeks ago, I spent hundreds of dollars on a unique gift. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17636) - you deserved it (1622)
On 11/22/2012 at 9:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. After dessert, he went to the bathroom so I quickly called the waiter over and paid the bill, thinking it was a nice gesture. When he returned, he broke up with me for "emasculating" him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17606) - you deserved it (2771)
On 11/27/2012 at 6:36am - love - by Clementine (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Monday 17 June 2013
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