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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML

#20106995
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27487) - you deserved it (5499)

On 10/08/2012 at 3:14am - love - by stoych (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by showing up at my work and proposing to me. It was sweet until an angry customer bitched us out for "wasting her time." FML

#20141262
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27448) - you deserved it (3309)

On 10/31/2012 at 2:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up with pink eye. My mom tried to help by putting drops in. It started burning like hell; she didn't understand why. It turns out she was putting ear drops in my eye. FML

#20132231
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27425) - you deserved it (1631)

On 10/25/2012 at 12:37am - health - by allison_fishing - United States

Today, I saw a man lying face down in a field and thinking he was injured, I ran over to help. As soon as I got to him, I realized he was completely naked. He stood up and chased after me. FML

#20131002
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27386) - you deserved it (2446)

On 10/24/2012 at 7:14am - misc - by bill - United States (Maryland)

Today, I fell down the stairs and landed heavily on my foot. Because I wasn't crying, my mom refused to take me to the hospital. It took me an hour of agony to convince her. It turned out to be broken in three different places. FML

#20098585
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27365) - you deserved it (1606)

On 10/02/2012 at 4:55pm - health - by ... - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

#20139353
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27279) - you deserved it (2519)

On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

#20097870
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27262) - you deserved it (3464)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had a job interview for a job I've been dying to have. As I'm walking into the office, the manager says, "Aren't you my son's ex, the one he cheated on?" All I could do was sit there quietly as he laughed at me. FML

#20129479
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27247) - you deserved it (2176)

On 10/23/2012 at 3:54am - work - by emilyparra1 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was talking to my future mother-in-law about my upcoming wedding. She told me that I wasn't allowed to have the wedding at a church, nor wear a white dress, nor have roses for flowers, because that would mean I'd be "copying" her. FML

#20115456
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27157) - you deserved it (1482)

On 10/13/2012 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my husband and I went to marriage counselling. I confessed something that was bothering me, but he didn't understand. Our counselor repeated word-for-word what I said right back at him. He turned to me angrily and shouted, "Why couldn't you just say that the first time?!" FML

#20127131
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27140) - you deserved it (2604)

On 10/21/2012 at 7:11pm - love - by madari (woman) - Spain (Andalucia)

Today, the power went out at school. If it's out for more than twenty minutes, standard procedure is to let us go home. They came back on almost nineteen minutes later. FML

#20118123
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27136) - you deserved it (3457)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:00pm - work - by anon - United States (Virginia)

Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow bar maid asked how we are supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML

#20141378
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27049) - you deserved it (1908)

On 10/31/2012 at 7:30am - work - by kat (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my college class was talking about Felix Baumgartner, who jumped from the edge of space down to earth. A boy suddenly put his head up and said in a serious tone, "I thought he jumped from the moon?" Several girls concurred. This is my generation. FML

#20121409
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26994) - you deserved it (2149)

On 10/17/2012 at 7:15pm - kids - by Mouse (woman) -



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