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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I received another death threat for teaching evolution in college. I'm a geology teacher. FML

#20121974
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25922) - you deserved it (2393)

On 10/18/2012 at 12:58am - work - by satanworshipper - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my daughter that she won't be going to her homecoming dance as punishment for her terrible grades. She's been crying and singing "If I Die Young" in her room for hours. At this point, I don't know if I need to call a therapist or a vocal coach. FML

#20117570
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25859) - you deserved it (9167)

On 10/15/2012 at 12:07am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML

#20134273
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25855) - you deserved it (2510)

On 10/26/2012 at 1:58pm - intimacy - by fiftyshardsofbroccoli (woman) - United States

Today, at work, I got to wait on one of those tables where everyone had very complex orders, and some of them sent their food back. When the time finally came for me to bring them their check and receive my well-earned tip, I returned only to discover that they'd dined and dashed. FML

#20099582
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25853) - you deserved it (1698)

On 10/03/2012 at 4:07am - work - by WaitedOut (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I saw a man lying face down in a field and thinking he was injured, I ran over to help. As soon as I got to him, I realized he was completely naked. He stood up and chased after me. FML

#20131002
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25831) - you deserved it (2300)

On 10/24/2012 at 7:14am - misc - by bill - United States (Maryland)

Today, my husband and I went to marriage counselling. I confessed something that was bothering me, but he didn't understand. Our counselor repeated word-for-word what I said right back at him. He turned to me angrily and shouted, "Why couldn't you just say that the first time?!" FML

#20127131
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25808) - you deserved it (2501)

On 10/21/2012 at 7:11pm - love - by madari (woman) - Spain (Andalucia)

Today, the power went out at school. If it's out for more than twenty minutes, standard procedure is to let us go home. They came back on almost nineteen minutes later. FML

#20118123
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25809) - you deserved it (3335)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:00pm - work - by anon - United States (Virginia)

Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML

#20102964
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25783) - you deserved it (9144)

On 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wokingham)

Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML

#20107056
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25769) - you deserved it (5284)

On 10/08/2012 at 5:12am - love - by embarrassed (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I learned why so much money has been missing from my credit card account. My boyfriend stole it, and has been buying toys for his 3 children. I never knew he had kids. FML

#20117313
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25731) - you deserved it (2608)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:19pm - money - by katie_sadface (woman) - Canada

Today, I had to pry my sister's used tampon out from between my dog's jaws. FML

#20104660
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25641) - you deserved it (1784)

On 10/06/2012 at 6:58pm - animals - by banj0 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I woke up with pink eye. My mom tried to help by putting drops in. It started burning like hell; she didn't understand why. It turns out she was putting ear drops in my eye. FML

#20132231
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25603) - you deserved it (1496)

On 10/25/2012 at 12:37am - health - by allison_fishing - United States

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25528) - you deserved it (6596)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States



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