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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML

#20101402
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25428) - you deserved it (1930)

On 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML

#20106995
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25341) - you deserved it (5163)

On 10/08/2012 at 3:14am - love - by stoych (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML

#20130988
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25302) - you deserved it (1537)

On 10/24/2012 at 6:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by showing up at my work and proposing to me. It was sweet until an angry customer bitched us out for "wasting her time." FML

#20141262
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25289) - you deserved it (3088)

On 10/31/2012 at 2:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my roommate set her extremely loud alarm clock for 5am and continued to hit the snooze button every ten minutes until 7:30. FML

#20110486
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25214) - you deserved it (1699)

On 10/10/2012 at 1:38pm - misc - by tiredofthis - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my husband and I decided to tell our sixteen-year-old daughter that she's adopted. Her response was, "Thank God!" FML

#20123551
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25183) - you deserved it (5978)

On 10/19/2012 at 3:59am - kids - by best_mom_ever (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML

#20097984
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25162) - you deserved it (2641)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my son's school saying to pick him up because he'd shat his pants. He's in high school. FML

#20119263
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24969) - you deserved it (2531)

On 10/16/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by Mike - United States

Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to convert to Christianity. Not because she has a strong relation with God, but because she wants to post Facebook statuses about Him and "get a lot of likes." FML

#20131695
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24849) - you deserved it (3143)

On 10/24/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and best friend making out. His explanation was that he was trying to stop her from having an allergic reaction to peanut butter. FML

#20118571
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24822) - you deserved it (1605)

On 10/15/2012 at 8:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, the guy I've been madly in love with for ages finally asked me out. I excitedly said yes. I waited a half an hour for him to show up, with another girl and say, "Where's your date?" I was asked to go on a double date, but apparently he forgot to tell me. FML

#20108846
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24821) - you deserved it (1678)

On 10/09/2012 at 8:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I learned why so much money has been missing from my credit card account. My boyfriend stole it, and has been buying toys for his 3 children. I never knew he had kids. FML

#20117313
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24786) - you deserved it (2524)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:19pm - money - by katie_sadface (woman) - Canada

Today, I tried to tell my best friend how wrong she is to be dating a married man, whose wife happens to be pregnant with their first child. Our talk ended with her calling me a "meddling, frigid bitch" and me being told this is why I can't get laid. FML

#20125357
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24773) - you deserved it (2332)

On 10/20/2012 at 2:50pm - misc - by Dillyduzit (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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