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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML

#20130811
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27363) - you deserved it (2322)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:15am - kids - by BobsBabe2 - United States

Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML

#20119594
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27190) - you deserved it (1551)

On 10/16/2012 at 1:25pm - health - by hurtinrealbad - United States (Arizona)

Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML

#20101904
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27109) - you deserved it (2521)

On 10/04/2012 at 8:28pm - love - by imafunguy (man) - United States

Today, I had a job interview for a job I've been dying to have. As I'm walking into the office, the manager says, "Aren't you my son's ex, the one he cheated on?" All I could do was sit there quietly as he laughed at me. FML

#20129479
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26865) - you deserved it (2030)

On 10/23/2012 at 3:54am - work - by emilyparra1 - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML

#20115885
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26826) - you deserved it (3836)

On 10/14/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Light Sleeper - United States (Indiana)

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26813) - you deserved it (3316)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

#20104739
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26806) - you deserved it (6926)

On 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm - kids - by TheVirginJenny - United States (Washington)

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

#20097870
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26790) - you deserved it (3436)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I have so much ass-acne that it hurts to sit. FML

#20101066
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26776) - you deserved it (5539)

On 10/04/2012 at 5:33am - health - by Chamorru (man) - United States

Today, I was talking to my future mother-in-law about my upcoming wedding. She told me that I wasn't allowed to have the wedding at a church, nor wear a white dress, nor have roses for flowers, because that would mean I'd be "copying" her. FML

#20115456
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26744) - you deserved it (1462)

On 10/13/2012 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML

#20113152
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26725) - you deserved it (1896)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by Dino (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me by saying, "It's not you, it's me. I have a terrible taste in women." FML

#20140004
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26722) - you deserved it (2799)

On 10/30/2012 at 9:27am - love - by LonelyMe -

Today, my husband informed me that he recently slept with a secretary of his to become better at sex for me. I don't know what's worse, the fact that he cheated on me or that he seriously believes that he has a reasonable excuse. FML

#20124966
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26569) - you deserved it (1886)

On 10/20/2012 at 4:49am - love - by Enragedbitch - United States (California)



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