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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML

#20127667
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28613) - you deserved it (1501)

On 10/22/2012 at 12:07am - work - by Lunazel93 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized I might lose my job because some asshole customer complained about me to my district manager. His complaint? Girls can't work at video game stores. My DM agreed. FML

#20098150
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28541) - you deserved it (1948)

On 10/02/2012 at 9:11am - work - by GamerTag (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML

#20136326
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28528) - you deserved it (6301)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Ceej - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

#20138384
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28437) - you deserved it (1835)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:03am - misc - by StormSeason (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my stepdaughter called to say hello and to give me a warning: she will do whatever it takes to keep me from having a baby with her dad, including pushing me down the stairs. I'm 12 weeks pregnant, and we were going to tell her this weekend. I'm now petrified of a 10-year-old. FML

Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML

#20129288
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28160) - you deserved it (4552)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by bunintheoven (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up after having a nightmare that my girlfriend broke up with me. Needing reassurance, I told her about it. She became furious with me saying that she'd never do that and called me an "inconsiderate fucking bastard for even thinking that." Then she broke up with me. FML

#20101222
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28077) - you deserved it (3275)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:44am - love - by Dave (man) - United States

Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML

#20130811
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28045) - you deserved it (2378)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:15am - kids - by BobsBabe2 - United States

Today, a parent was too busy texting to notice her child had run in front of a moving truck. She did however see me grab the child's backpack to yank him back out of traffic. She then screamed at me for "manhandling" her child and demanded I be fired. It's not even my school; I'm a part time sub. FML

#20129237
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28011) - you deserved it (1273)

On 10/22/2012 at 11:51pm - work - by bad samaritan (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was placed firmly in the friend-zone. By my wife. We've been married 10 years. She doesn't want a divorce, she says it'd be too "time-consuming." FML

#20111577
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27977) - you deserved it (2020)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:56am - love - by agh marriage (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while walking down the hall of my old school, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Behind the faculty parking lot where I parked my truck, two students were having sex on my tailgate. FML

#20099948
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27884) - you deserved it (2637)

On 10/03/2012 at 1:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom called me an asshole. She was embarrassed when she saw that a visiting family member had overheard, and tried to cover it up with, "Honey, you are a casserole! You are just delicious, any guy is gonna want you sweetie!" She honestly thought this would work. FML

#20133203
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27784) - you deserved it (2266)

On 10/25/2012 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Agirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm going to be helping the love of my life pick out an engagement ring for my cousin. FML

#20107387
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27672) - you deserved it (3427)

On 10/08/2012 at 12:39pm - love - by unlucky - United States (Michigan)



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