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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend and I were preparing for the arrival of Hurricane Sandy. I tasked him with going out to buy emergency groceries in case we lose power. He returned with dozens of microwave cup noodles. We're going to starve. FML

#20137235
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23448) - you deserved it (3378)

On 10/28/2012 at 4:14pm - love - by cupnoodles (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend told me that the main reason he was dating me was because he was intimidated by pretty girls. FML

#20097040
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23436) - you deserved it (1850)

On 10/01/2012 at 5:09pm - love - by Lisa - United States (New York)

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

#20138384
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23346) - you deserved it (1261)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:03am - misc - by StormSeason (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw a man lying face down in a field and thinking he was injured, I ran over to help. As soon as I got to him, I realized he was completely naked. He stood up and chased after me. FML

#20131002
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23285) - you deserved it (2044)

On 10/24/2012 at 7:14am - misc - by bill - United States (Maryland)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

#20104739
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23281) - you deserved it (6438)

On 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm - kids - by TheVirginJenny - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

#20139353
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23161) - you deserved it (2158)

On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after I gave birth to our first child, my husband looked at the doctor and seriously asked, "When do you circumcise the baby?" We had a baby girl. FML

#20138333
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23158) - you deserved it (2206)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was slapped by a fourteen-year-old girl because I was apparently "stealing her boyfriend." I'm twenty-five, and her boyfriend is my nephew. FML

#20100511
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23156) - you deserved it (1167)

On 10/03/2012 at 8:45pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML

#20106995
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23089) - you deserved it (4771)

On 10/08/2012 at 3:14am - love - by stoych (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I witnessed my mother-in-law reach into my wife's purse and practically empty it out into her pocket. When I confronted her and called my wife into the room, both of them accused me of lying through my teeth, because I've always hated her. FML

#20116821
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23062) - you deserved it (1531)

On 10/14/2012 at 4:57pm - money - by hate enough to kill... (man) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, I found out that my daughter's "pen pal" is really a 58-year-old man in prison. FML

#20109821
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23013) - you deserved it (2587)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:59pm - kids - by ohgod. - United States (Florida)

Today, my roommate set her extremely loud alarm clock for 5am and continued to hit the snooze button every ten minutes until 7:30. FML

#20110486
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22963) - you deserved it (1530)

On 10/10/2012 at 1:38pm - misc - by tiredofthis - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found a notebook my 12-year-old sister had been doodling in. Turns out the "doodles" were poems full of obscenities and descriptions of how she wanted to hurt herself. When I showed it to my mom, she accused me of writing the notebook myself to frame my sister. FML

#20133698
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22919) - you deserved it (1826)

On 10/26/2012 at 12:38am - kids - by familyofpsychos - United States (Nebraska)



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