Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24507) - you deserved it (3970)
On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24493) - you deserved it (1329)
On 10/24/2012 at 5:08pm - love - by wtactualfuck :( (woman) - United States
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24405) - you deserved it (4255)
On 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was walking with my boyfriend when a guy walked up to me and told me I look exactly like Taylor Swift. My boyfriend punched him in the face and told him that Taylor Swift is a lot more attractive. I'm actually considering leaving him for the complete stranger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24355) - you deserved it (1835)
On 10/23/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by jeanrose2013 - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I found out that the landscaper my wife hired on my behalf wasn't kidding when he said he was going to trim my wife's bush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24315) - you deserved it (2007)
On 10/02/2012 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by praise the prenup (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my girlfriend of 3 months got mad at me because I thought she was attractive. She has an identical twin, and she says if I think she's attractive, I must want her twin too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24194) - you deserved it (1451)
On 10/08/2012 at 2:36pm - love - by jack - United States (Illinois)
Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend that, yes, I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24097) - you deserved it (3094)
On 10/04/2012 at 11:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24085) - you deserved it (2059)
On 10/13/2012 at 8:04am - intimacy - by notthebesttime -
Today, it was my birthday. My mom didn't buy me a present, throw a party, or acknowledge the event in any way. Last week it was our dog's birthday, which included a party for all the neighbourhood dogs, and a cake for our dog, made out of bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24036) - you deserved it (1134)
On 10/26/2012 at 8:14pm - animals - by birthday girl (woman) - Australia
Today, I came home from a three day vacation to find my psycho ex-girlfriend in my house. Even though I broke up with her six months ago, she hasn't broken up with me. It's alright though, she says she's going to forgive me and she already moved her stuff in when I was out of town. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24027) - you deserved it (1337)
On 10/06/2012 at 3:49am - love - by BusinessTurtle - United States (Iowa)
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23778) - you deserved it (5589)
On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23465) - you deserved it (2385)
On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I saw on my 17-year-old daughter's floor her "To-Do" list. What was #1? Jump in front of a moving vehicle, in hopes that Edward Cullen will use his vampire speed to save her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23223) - you deserved it (2949)
On 10/04/2012 at 10:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Monday 17 June 2013
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