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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML

#20062989
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24720) - you deserved it (5002)

On 09/08/2012 at 10:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after completely refilling my almost empty gas tank, I witnessed the price flip from $3.69 per gallon to $3.59. FML

#20082194
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24703) - you deserved it (2184)

On 09/21/2012 at 2:49pm - money - by The Drew - United States

Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML

#20054806
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24561) - you deserved it (2143)

On 09/02/2012 at 10:07pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was really impressed with the man I've been in a relationship with for over 2 years. He had finally really cleaned his apartment. Everything was washed and fixed, even my stuff was cleared from open surfaces. All so his lover would not find out about me. FML

#20094642
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24521) - you deserved it (2126)

On 09/30/2012 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I decided to look for the horrid stench coming from my bathroom. It turns out my roommate has been throwing away her used tampons in the "trashcan by the sink." That "trashcan" is my old antique vase. FML

#20077513
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24520) - you deserved it (2385)

On 09/18/2012 at 7:56am - misc - by raesos91 - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that I spend more money on gas to go to my job than what I get paid. FML

#20086643
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24470) - you deserved it (3188)

On 09/24/2012 at 2:21pm - work - by izziegrl - Mexico (Mexico)

Today, my intoxicated husband asked my very conservative parents how their sex life is now that all the kids are out of the house. FML

#20088791
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24462) - you deserved it (2824)

On 09/25/2012 at 9:48pm - intimacy - by kiwi2323 (woman) - United States

Today, a dog attacked me. Its owner, instead of apologizing and helping me, said it was my own fault for making it think I was an attacker by running past them. We were on a jogging track. FML

#20052963
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24387) - you deserved it (1544)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:15pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was waiting for my wife in a mall when some kids came and sat near me, wearing band t-shirts. I recognized some, as I was into The Smiths and Black Flag in my youth. I tried to strike up a music-fan chat with them. "Fuck off, grandad" and "Ew, pedo" is all I got in return. FML

#20087854
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24288) - you deserved it (4302)

On 09/25/2012 at 7:54am - kids - by HenryRollinsForPresident (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML

#20086118
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24279) - you deserved it (2749)

On 09/24/2012 at 1:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML

#20089771
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24275) - you deserved it (2107)

On 09/26/2012 at 4:27pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML

#20074793
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24175) - you deserved it (2368)

On 09/16/2012 at 3:48pm - health - by Derp McShitstain (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, after weeks of dealing with a bad hair cut, my hair finally grew back to my preferred length. Today is also the day my roommate replaced my shampoo with hair remover as a prank. FML

#20084656
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24162) - you deserved it (1512)

On 09/23/2012 at 4:14am - misc - by Hairless freak - United States (California)



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