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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML

#20081849
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22889) - you deserved it (2691)

On 09/21/2012 at 6:57am - work - by scarred for life - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML

#20086696
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22839) - you deserved it (2083)

On 09/24/2012 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML

#20083352
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22809) - you deserved it (23480)

On 09/22/2012 at 10:06am - intimacy - by holyshitbatman - United States (Illinois)

Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML

#20058325
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22684) - you deserved it (8014)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:44am - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML

#20057214
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22677) - you deserved it (3053)

On 09/04/2012 at 9:51am - misc - by UnknownOperation (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my teacher told me that she couldn't find my hand-written essay on the Renaissance, and that I have to re-do it all by tomorrow. I later saw my essay on her desk, covered in a massive coffee stain that made virtually everything unreadable. FML

#20076161
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22617) - you deserved it (1073)

On 09/17/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by Anonymous - France

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML

#20053776
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22560) - you deserved it (2707)

On 09/02/2012 at 8:44am - love - by rotezora (woman) - Switzerland (Basel-Stadt)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML

#20072449
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22487) - you deserved it (2032)

On 09/15/2012 at 1:35am - intimacy - by anon (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mother shared my phone number with my brother, despite my explicit wishes that she didn't. He immediately went and put it on Craigslist and several other websites. This is the fourth time I've had to change my number for that very same reason. FML

#20066134
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22420) - you deserved it (1715)

On 09/10/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after completely refilling my almost empty gas tank, I witnessed the price flip from $3.69 per gallon to $3.59. FML

#20082194
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22401) - you deserved it (1995)

On 09/21/2012 at 2:49pm - money - by The Drew - United States

Today, after moving in with a couple of vegan zoologists a few weeks ago, I discover that they don't believe that we have the right to kill cockroaches, and will not allow me to do so. The house is infested, and it's spread to my bedroom. FML

#20067454
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22360) - you deserved it (3246)

On 09/11/2012 at 11:08am - health - by Stevski (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my fiancé told me that the thought of having sex with a pregnant woman repulsed him. I'm pregnant. He's glad he got that off his chest FML

#20061168
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22345) - you deserved it (3298)

On 09/06/2012 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by thankshun13 (woman) - United Kingdom



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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