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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

#20086703
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26497) - you deserved it (5875)

On 09/24/2012 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by disgusted - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my fiancé told me that the thought of having sex with a pregnant woman repulsed him. I'm pregnant. He's glad he got that off his chest FML

#20061168
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26377) - you deserved it (3737)

On 09/06/2012 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by thankshun13 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML

#20058797
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26282) - you deserved it (2237)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with candles and a sexy outfit. When he came in, he insisted that we needed music to help set the mood. Thirty minutes later, he's still searching for a song. FML

#20054049
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26265) - you deserved it (2585)

On 09/02/2012 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by ImOverHere (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after having a long talk with my mother about gays, she told me that she was totally open. I felt completely relieved, being gay myself. Seconds later, she said, "But not for you. I want you to find me a nice girl that can give me lots of grand kids." FML

#20070762
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26220) - you deserved it (4593)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by EvilMother (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML

#20051466
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26214) - you deserved it (2134)

On 08/31/2012 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at school, a guy walked up to me and said I look a little too young to be at high school. I told him that I'm sixteen years old. He stared at my chest for several long seconds, muttered "What the fuck?" and walked off. FML

#20076675
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26196) - you deserved it (2422)

On 09/17/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by wtf yourself, cunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I met a really cute girl at a club. At first, she told me I was cute. Then, she slurred that I look like "a spork on legs." Then she sprayed the inside of my mouth with vomit as she kissed me. FML

#20054504
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26145) - you deserved it (6519)

On 09/02/2012 at 6:31pm - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I stumbled across "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" on TV and realized that these awful freaks are going to make more money than I ever will. FML

#20070573
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26014) - you deserved it (2690)

On 09/13/2012 at 6:29pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had breakfast with his grandmother. She told him how I'm prettier than "that Mexican" he'd brought home for dinner last week. We had dinner with her last week, and I'm that same Mexican. She then went on to how Mexicans are what's wrong with the economy. FML

#20071462
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26009) - you deserved it (2656)

On 09/14/2012 at 10:13am - misc - by MexicanMe (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend was showing me photos on his iPod when he came across a photo of a half-naked girl. He tried to play it off by quickly changing it, only to reveal even more half-naked girls. FML

#20065430
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25991) - you deserved it (2869)

On 09/09/2012 at 10:12pm - love - by hatemyluck (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got food poisoning at work. I had my head in the toilet when the auto flush decided to turn on. The force of the flush was so powerful half of what I threw up splashed back into my face. FML

#20093027
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25763) - you deserved it (2035)

On 09/29/2012 at 12:08am - health - by cedechan (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

#20064384
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25763) - you deserved it (6137)

On 09/09/2012 at 8:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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