Transportation: Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in...

By WasteOfTime - 01/11/2009 14:36 - United Kingdom

Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 355

You deserved it 3 441

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Same thing different taste

Punk'd

By lululee53 - 31/12/2010 00:07 - United States

Today, after spotting my ex-boyfriend's truck in a desolate parking lot, I decided to "decorate" the muddy side of it with a rather large male appendage. After checking around me to make sure there were no witnesses, I got to work. I probably should have made sure he wasn't sitting in the truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 280

You deserved it 49 808

By Noname - 08/02/2009 01:23 - United States

Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 183

You deserved it 3 871

Get off my hood

By Anonymous - 03/01/2016 23:00 - United States - Kennett Square

Today, I was at work, a grocery store, and my manager came up to me while I was on my lunch break. He told me that a customer said someone in the parking lot had been loitering around the cars. I went outside to investigate and saw a drunk man pooping on the front of a car. That car was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 459

You deserved it 1 270

Subconscious

By doodler - 27/02/2014 11:59 - United States - Hurst

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 093

You deserved it 13 497

By Anonymous - 12/08/2019 04:01

Today, in my tidy, small-town neighborhood, I parked my car 50 metres further back from my usual spot just across from our house on a half-empty public street, because it was taken. Apparently, someone didn't appreciate this. So much so, they put a used condom under my windshield wiper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 503

You deserved it 124

By Anonymous - 24/04/2009 04:38 - United States

Today, I went to the mall with a couple of friends. While walking through the parking lot, we saw a very dirty car. You couldn't even see the inside of the car through the windows. I thought it would be funny to trace on the window, "Wash Me." After doing so, the driver got out of the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 836

You deserved it 65 426

By Anonymous - 29/05/2013 15:21 - United States

Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 295

You deserved it 3 851

Hey you

By pappy - 03/05/2019 13:00 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 960

You deserved it 308

By chicoallen - 31/08/2011 18:45 - United States

Today, after getting off work from a horrible 16 hour shift, I went out to my truck. My windows were completely covered in window chalk, to the point that I couldn't leave. I had to spend the next hour and a half washing it all off while my manager laughed about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 982

You deserved it 2 221

By Jehovah God - 07/03/2014 18:51 - United States - Richmond

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 371

You deserved it 3 613

misspeg 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:05

people can be so immature sometimes! FYL

zombienightmare 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:09

your neighbor must think your a dick

Comments

misspeg 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:05

people can be so immature sometimes! FYL

seanreddog 4

Sunday 1 November 2009 22:33

Don't get your panties in a bunch. It was funny.

Reyo 2

Monday 2 November 2009 1:51

*psst* you're supposed to continue the chain. Only when you've drawn the penis on someone else's van will the penis fairy stop her shenanigans.

Penetration 0

Monday 2 November 2009 4:10

Ask your neighbors if they like your wiener wagon.

omghehehe 0

Monday 2 November 2009 5:44

hahahhaha!! love that! OP: did u chuckle? :D ohh common, a lil bit? :D

Rayn4u_fml 0

Thursday 5 November 2009 14:24

(S)he's not immature, just committed!

alexandraa_fml 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:08

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

prettyvolatile 3

Thursday 21 June 2012 7:13

Easy for you to say, not ALL dudes want a giant penis on the side of their van.

seanreddog 4

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:09

TACO!

quarty165 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:09

lol, kinda sucks, but at least it's funny!

thunder352 4

Thursday 13 March 2014 5:17

That's the important part!

zombienightmare 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:09

your neighbor must think your a dick

zoeeeeee 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:11

I luv that red devil

citycrazed25 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:15

thats hilarious

arielhoee 9

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:26

It was me.

gpstyne 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:27

that sucks

moonsolomon 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:31

There's an epidemic of this nonsense at my school. 'Tis absurd.

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The Top

Today, I love my husband to death and want sex all the time, meanwhile he claims he loves me too but constantly turns down sex and has even managed to negotiate a promise that I won’t ask for sex on special occasions like his birthday. What am I doing wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 889

You deserved it 341

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend for cheating on me. I refused his calls, so he texted, not to apologize, but to say I'd "left some clothes in his suitcase"; i.e., he stole some of my clothes. When he didn't get the response from me that he was hoping for, he texted, "I'm wearing your shorts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 120

The Top

Today, I finally exchanged pictures with the woman I've been seeing online for some time now. She replied, saying "Thats not funny. Some people actually look like that." I sent my real picture, and thought I actually looked pretty good in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 297

You deserved it 7 050

Today, it's my birthday. Today is also the day my grandma died, six years ago. Since then, I get to sit through any sort of attempted celebration while my mom sobs and drinks herself into a stupor in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 481

You deserved it 1 755

Today, my husband and I caught our 12-year-old son "experimenting" with a 5-foot tall stuffed Mickey Mouse. He even made sure to rip Mickey's pants off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 588

You deserved it 4 022

Today, my ill-tempered cat tried to slap me in the face. She ended up sticking one of her claws as far up my nostril as it would go, and got stuck. Not only did I kinda get to experience what it feels like to be stabbed, I also got a horrible nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 155

Today, I had a major "WTF?" moment when a teenage goth, who was clearly still drunk at 7 a.m., with a vodka bottle in his pocket, plonked down next to me on the train, glanced at my crossword and pointed out where I’d gotten three words wrong, and one word that was right but misspelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 532

Today, during a basketball game, I fell into metal chairs which then decided to fold in, causing me to fall to the floor in a very dramatic and painful fall. When I stood up, so did everyone else and they were all clapping, including the other team. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 103

You deserved it 3 518

Same thing different taste

Punk'd

Get off my hood

Subconscious

Hey you

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