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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML

#20089658
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27632) - you deserved it (3181)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Juiced (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dentist dropped my bite plate for x-rays on the ground, picked it up, looked at it intently, took a couple of hairs off, and shoved it back into my mouth. FML

#20068205
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27626) - you deserved it (2161)

On 09/11/2012 at 10:24pm - health - by ledentist - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML

#20087510
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27605) - you deserved it (2672)

On 09/25/2012 at 12:13am - health - by N/A (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a very attractive man asked me out. I'd have been flattered if I weren't the nurse assigned to his laboring wife. FML

#20086071
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27554) - you deserved it (1657)

On 09/24/2012 at 12:32am - misc - by Hello Nurse (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mum found out she's pregnant. I would be happy for her, if she knew who the father was. FML

#20060753
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27541) - you deserved it (1977)

On 09/06/2012 at 6:21pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, an incredibly rude woman came in for a hairdressing appointment. I had to put up with being yelled at and called a "clumsy bitch," a "pleb," and other insults for almost half an hour. When I finally managed to finish her hair, instead of tipping me, she spat at my feet and stormed out. FML

#20093857
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27492) - you deserved it (2175)

On 09/29/2012 at 4:34pm - misc - by scumdresser (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML

#20070089
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27459) - you deserved it (4299)

On 09/13/2012 at 10:31am - kids - by PissOffPottermore (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML

#20068529
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27458) - you deserved it (4003)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:03am - kids - by AGeeksWife (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after moving in with a couple of vegan zoologists a few weeks ago, I discover that they don't believe that we have the right to kill cockroaches, and will not allow me to do so. The house is infested, and it's spread to my bedroom. FML

#20067454
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27443) - you deserved it (3823)

On 09/11/2012 at 11:08am - health - by Stevski (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

#20069788
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27380) - you deserved it (5150)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my 2-year-old cat finally decided to start catching mice. Like any other cat would, she left it for me to find. I found it in the middle of the night, as my bare foot rolled its guts out of its ass. FML

#20068907
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27355) - you deserved it (2387)

On 09/12/2012 at 2:31pm - animals - by shadokis (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

#20058507
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27345) - you deserved it (5152)

On 09/05/2012 at 4:14am - love - by steve (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML

#20091837
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27320) - you deserved it (3553)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)



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