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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while working security at a welfare office, I had to listen as a claimant gushed about her upcoming Caribbean cruise. I work two jobs and haven't had a vacation since 2006. FML

#20092291
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25078) - you deserved it (1787)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:40pm - work - by getajob (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my dad wants me to spray a wasp nest, because I'm the fittest family member and can run the fastest. The wasps are already angry, and I'm allergic to them. FML

#20052266
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25057) - you deserved it (1617)

On 09/01/2012 at 10:09am - health - by iliveintexas - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to spank the ferret in bed and spray me while singing the Spiderman theme song. FML

#20093277
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25054) - you deserved it (4804)

On 09/29/2012 at 5:14am - intimacy - by BabyG2222 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out my husband has been talking to another woman on Facebook. His only defense was "I thought I deleted the messages." FML

#20051914
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25041) - you deserved it (2760)

On 09/01/2012 at 2:02am - love - by gmac0417 - United States

Today, a woman came up to me at work and screamed at me for "taking forever" to come and wait at her table. I work at Wendy's. FML

#20056260
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24973) - you deserved it (1711)

On 09/03/2012 at 7:43pm - work - by FastFoodWaiter (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a very attractive man asked me out. I'd have been flattered if I weren't the nurse assigned to his laboring wife. FML

#20086071
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24969) - you deserved it (1469)

On 09/24/2012 at 12:32am - misc - by Hello Nurse (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at work, when an elderly lady casually mentioned it was her birthday. I motioned two of my coworkers over, and we sang a little happy birthday to her over the phone. Our boss stormed in mid-song and suspended all three of us on the spot for "unprofessional behavior." FML

#20082592
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24834) - you deserved it (2455)

On 09/21/2012 at 8:28pm - work - by karmas a kunt (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

#20058507
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24830) - you deserved it (4833)

On 09/05/2012 at 4:14am - love - by steve (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out what it feels like to have a cotton swab shoved up my cock's piss-pipe. FML

#20057281
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24825) - you deserved it (8451)

On 09/04/2012 at 11:09am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML

#20062989
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24815) - you deserved it (5008)

On 09/08/2012 at 10:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after completely refilling my almost empty gas tank, I witnessed the price flip from $3.69 per gallon to $3.59. FML

#20082194
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24767) - you deserved it (2189)

On 09/21/2012 at 2:49pm - money - by The Drew - United States

Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML

#20054806
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24642) - you deserved it (2152)

On 09/02/2012 at 10:07pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother texted me that she was in labor. She never told me she was pregnant. Apparently she's engaged too. FML

#20091458
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24614) - you deserved it (1964)

On 09/27/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by annoyed - United States (Texas)



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