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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML

#20054113
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26281) - you deserved it (4070)

On 09/02/2012 at 1:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26267) - you deserved it (3017)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, after moving in with a couple of vegan zoologists a few weeks ago, I discover that they don't believe that we have the right to kill cockroaches, and will not allow me to do so. The house is infested, and it's spread to my bedroom. FML

#20067454
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26264) - you deserved it (3697)

On 09/11/2012 at 11:08am - health - by Stevski (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I stumbled across "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" on TV and realized that these awful freaks are going to make more money than I ever will. FML

#20070573
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26215) - you deserved it (2706)

On 09/13/2012 at 6:29pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I held hands with a male mannequin in a department store, just to remember what holding hands felt like. FML

#20069351
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26194) - you deserved it (6323)

On 09/12/2012 at 8:26pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to look for the horrid stench coming from my bathroom. It turns out my roommate has been throwing away her used tampons in the "trashcan by the sink." That "trashcan" is my old antique vase. FML

#20077513
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26179) - you deserved it (2572)

On 09/18/2012 at 7:56am - misc - by raesos91 - United States (Texas)

Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML

#20091837
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26177) - you deserved it (3464)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my boyfriend and I had breakfast with his grandmother. She told him how I'm prettier than "that Mexican" he'd brought home for dinner last week. We had dinner with her last week, and I'm that same Mexican. She then went on to how Mexicans are what's wrong with the economy. FML

#20071462
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26162) - you deserved it (2667)

On 09/14/2012 at 10:13am - misc - by MexicanMe (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend was showing me photos on his iPod when he came across a photo of a half-naked girl. He tried to play it off by quickly changing it, only to reveal even more half-naked girls. FML

#20065430
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26157) - you deserved it (2880)

On 09/09/2012 at 10:12pm - love - by hatemyluck (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML

#20074793
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26131) - you deserved it (2548)

On 09/16/2012 at 3:48pm - health - by Derp McShitstain (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, my dad's recycling went out of control. He now keeps a calendar of my periods, just to remind me to recycle the cardboard from my tampons. FML

#20078344
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26051) - you deserved it (1812)

On 09/18/2012 at 8:42pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I attended my 10-year high school reunion. My ex-husband's new wife showed up in the same dress as mine. I guess both the dress and my ex-husband look better on her. FML

#20055300
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25910) - you deserved it (2159)

On 09/03/2012 at 4:17am - love - by ugly (woman) - United States

Today, someone brought cake to class. Trying to get some attention from the guy I have a crush on, I asked if he wanted my piece of cake. He accepted it, and then offered it to another girl. FML

#20077941
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25872) - you deserved it (4541)

On 09/18/2012 at 4:07pm - love - by emselin - Denmark (Hovedstaden)



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