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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I held hands with a male mannequin in a department store, just to remember what holding hands felt like. FML

#20069351
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25408) - you deserved it (6155)

On 09/12/2012 at 8:26pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother shared my phone number with my brother, despite my explicit wishes that she didn't. He immediately went and put it on Craigslist and several other websites. This is the fourth time I've had to change my number for that very same reason. FML

#20066134
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25360) - you deserved it (1998)

On 09/10/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

#20069788
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25296) - you deserved it (4929)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML

#20089658
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25292) - you deserved it (2941)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Juiced (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

#20072555
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25190) - you deserved it (2570)

On 09/15/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by not the scalpel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my husband to watch our daughter while I ran a few errands. While he treated himself to a long nap, she decided our fish needed a bubble bath, and squeezed out an entire bottle of dish soap. I came home to bubbles all over the floor, five dead fish, and one sleeping husband. FML

#20088451
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25184) - you deserved it (2770)

On 09/25/2012 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while working security at a welfare office, I had to listen as a claimant gushed about her upcoming Caribbean cruise. I work two jobs and haven't had a vacation since 2006. FML

#20092291
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25140) - you deserved it (1791)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:40pm - work - by getajob (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to spank the ferret in bed and spray me while singing the Spiderman theme song. FML

#20093277
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25123) - you deserved it (4812)

On 09/29/2012 at 5:14am - intimacy - by BabyG2222 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my dad wants me to spray a wasp nest, because I'm the fittest family member and can run the fastest. The wasps are already angry, and I'm allergic to them. FML

#20052266
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25120) - you deserved it (1620)

On 09/01/2012 at 10:09am - health - by iliveintexas - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my husband has been talking to another woman on Facebook. His only defense was "I thought I deleted the messages." FML

#20051914
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25108) - you deserved it (2765)

On 09/01/2012 at 2:02am - love - by gmac0417 - United States

Today, a very attractive man asked me out. I'd have been flattered if I weren't the nurse assigned to his laboring wife. FML

#20086071
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25025) - you deserved it (1475)

On 09/24/2012 at 12:32am - misc - by Hello Nurse (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a woman came up to me at work and screamed at me for "taking forever" to come and wait at her table. I work at Wendy's. FML

#20056260
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25024) - you deserved it (1712)

On 09/03/2012 at 7:43pm - work - by FastFoodWaiter (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was at work, when an elderly lady casually mentioned it was her birthday. I motioned two of my coworkers over, and we sang a little happy birthday to her over the phone. Our boss stormed in mid-song and suspended all three of us on the spot for "unprofessional behavior." FML

#20082592
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24899) - you deserved it (2458)

On 09/21/2012 at 8:28pm - work - by karmas a kunt (man) - United States



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