Today, my girlfriend asked me if I loved her. I tried to be cute and romantic and responded with a quote from the Notebook, which I watched with her yesterday. After I said, "If you're a bird, I'm a bird," she broke up with me because I was "phony and unoriginal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19398) - you deserved it (6744)
On 06/11/2012 at 1:25am - love - by thanksnicksparks (man) - United States
Today, I laughed when I shouldn't have and am probably fired. What happened? My boss asked me if birds were reptiles. I thought he was kidding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19350) - you deserved it (2230)
On 06/20/2012 at 8:46am - work - by notanidiot - United States (Michigan)
Today, my date made me pay him for picking me up, and taking me back home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19335) - you deserved it (2254)
On 06/13/2012 at 12:42am - money - by bad date - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my daughter tried to sneak out of the house. When I caught her, she freaked out and punched me in the face. She then "snapped out of it" and claimed she was sleepwalking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19301) - you deserved it (2360)
On 06/25/2012 at 12:08am - kids - by abbielane - United States (Michigan)
Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I've been in love with for three years. Her response was to well up, start crying, and ask me why I had to have chosen her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19283) - you deserved it (1660)
On 06/26/2012 at 1:18pm - love - by Oraashi (man) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)
Today, I decided not wear makeup for the first time. My boyfriend asked me if I got punched in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19278) - you deserved it (4301)
On 06/16/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by Cassidy Bowen - United States (California)
Today, my new roommate woke me up at noon to bitch about my "selfish sleeping habits" and how they ruin her ability to invite anyone over. I work the graveyard shift at the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19193) - you deserved it (1157)
On 06/22/2012 at 12:14pm - work - by lynn (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I had an IUD put in two years ago that's supposed to prevent pregnancy. To put it in perspective, less than 1% of people using this IUD get pregnant. Lucky me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19195) - you deserved it (3372)
On 06/27/2012 at 4:02pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I received my first negative feedback on my otherwise flawless eBay record. The woman who bought the item said it wasn't as delicious as she was expecting, so there must be something wrong with it. What was I selling? A new and unopened lipstick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19136) - you deserved it (1302)
On 06/05/2012 at 10:48am - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)
Today, I was at work when a customer, who was going to pay for her groceries, started sorting through her money. She put some coins in her mouth, seemed to suck on them for a while, and then gave them to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19136) - you deserved it (1106)
On 05/31/2012 at 9:20pm - work - by Elmoo - Netherlands
Today, on the bright side, my boobs grew a size. Unfortunately, this was only after bed bugs decided to attack my nipples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19131) - you deserved it (1890)
On 06/02/2012 at 7:25pm - health - by must.not.itch. (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I drove my drunk sister home after a wild night of partying. She did not go to bed as I expected; instead, she laid in the bathtub and cried every time I left her. Now it's 3AM, and she's using her bra as a lasso for various objects in the room. The best part is I work in 4 hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19089) - you deserved it (1840)
On 06/10/2012 at 3:54am - misc - by eddie818 - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was once again passed over for a promotion. I'm now the assistant to a kid who has failed to meet almost every single responsibility he's been given before. It's my job to make sure he's successful, and if he isn't, I'll lose my job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19074) - you deserved it (1219)
On 06/18/2012 at 3:49pm - misc - by wenchfucker (man) - France (Lorraine)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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