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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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October 2009

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

#5701860 (314)

I agree, your life sucks (96371) - you deserved it (3833)

On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (66544) - you deserved it (9415)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML

#5721676 (267)

I agree, your life sucks (60671) - you deserved it (3854)

On 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out who the father of my sister's 4 year old son is. My husband of 7 years. FML

#5928824 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (48753) - you deserved it (1977)

On 10/21/2009 at 2:31pm - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I heard my newly divorced parents fighting about who gets to keep me. Neither of them want me. FML

#5893479 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (47992) - you deserved it (2644)

On 10/19/2009 at 7:50am - misc - by cc10 (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, I fainted on the sidewalk. When I woke up, I was still lying on the sidewalk, people were stepping over me and my purse was gone. FML

#5676795 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (47233) - you deserved it (2298)

On 10/06/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by blackedout (woman) - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend of five years gave me the silent treatment, refusing to talk to me or do anything more than glare at me during the entire three hour drive we took this morning. Why? Because I slept with his best friend. In his dream last night. FML

#6021722 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (46967) - you deserved it (4587)

On 10/27/2009 at 9:27am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, some thug tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves and told a cop that I did it. FML

#5911952 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (42808) - you deserved it (1511)

On 10/20/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by BobbyHutchinson (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my math teacher decided to use my acne as an example of symmetry in front of the whole class. FML

#5924929 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (42622) - you deserved it (2550)

On 10/21/2009 at 2:59am - health - by acneface (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

#5774504 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (42603) - you deserved it (19145)

On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I realized that I can't shave my unibrow because I have too much acne on my forehead. FML

#5583286 (221)

I agree, your life sucks (42321) - you deserved it (7201)

On 10/01/2009 at 11:49am - health - by ugh (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out my mom is the nude model for an art class at my college. FML

#5942211 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (42263) - you deserved it (1884)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:30am - misc - by scarred - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking out of class when I saw a girl enthusiastically run to her boyfriend, jump on him, and smother him with kisses. I thought to myself "I wish my girlfriend did that." When the girl jumped off and turned around I realized she did, just not to me. FML

#5689238 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (42055) - you deserved it (1654)

On 10/06/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by zitroskies (man) - United States (California)