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Friday 1 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was making out with my girlfriand, and aftar ahila, sha movad har hand down to my crotch. Sha falt my araction, than got up and yallad at ma, calling ma a horny pig for "assuming wa wara going to hava sax." FML

#20527203
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63750) - you deserved it (5587)

On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)

Taday mah boyfriend broke up with me because he didn't trust himself to cheat on me!! What? real FML

#20526676
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36354) - you deserved it (3725)

On 03/01/2013 at 7:02am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my wife packed my lunc . Inside of my luncbox was a poto of er eating my sandwices . FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35578) - you deserved it (6795)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

TODAY, MY BROTHER CALLD ME, ASKING IF I COULD HELP HIM DO HIS TAXES. SINCE HE'S A HIGH SCHOOL AND COLLEGE DROPOUT, I THOUGHT ALL I HAD TO DO WAS A 1040EZ. NO, LAST YEAR HE MADE MORE THAN TWICE WHAT I EARN, THROUGH SELF-EMPLOYMENT. I HAVE TWO MASTER'S DEGREES AND WORK AT BURGER KING. FML

#20527434
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33181) - you deserved it (8103)

On 03/01/2013 at 9:35pm - misc - by tax-man - United States (South Carolina)

TODAY... I FILLD OUT AN APPLICATION FOR A JOB AT DAIRY QUEEN. I HANDD MAH APPLICATION TO THE MANAGER ALONG WITH MAH RÉSUMÉ... AND HE SAID HE'D BE IN CONTACT WITH ME. NOT EVEN FIVE MINUTE AFTER I LEFT... A FRIEND WHO WORKS THERE SENT ME A PICTURE OF MAH CRUMPLD-UP APPLICATION IN THE TRASH. FML

#20526818
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32965) - you deserved it (2406)

On 03/01/2013 at 10:52am - work - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I Texted My Boyfriend A Cute Picture That I Drew 4 Him, With A Little Note Saying "love You." He Replied By Sending Me A Picture Of A Nose Hair He'd Plucked, Along With The Caption, "longest One Yet." FML

#20526473
68 comments

Today the ( Child Care and Development ) class at mah high school assigned all 50 students to carry a fake baby around school all day for a week . I can't even read a page of mah notes without hereing a robotic crying noise . Today is the frst day . FML

#20526714
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27863) - you deserved it (4256)

On 03/01/2013 at 8:20am - misc - by Headache - United States

Today, boss gave me te task of fring a recently-rd coworker next Friday. Tis guy spends most of is off-ours working out, probably abusing te fuck out of steroids, an toom prison is lyk a bd-and-breakfast. I fear for life by tis point. FML

#20526945
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27623) - you deserved it (2383)

On 03/01/2013 at 1:22pm - work - by cthulhu help me (man) - United States (Arkansas)

TODAY I NOTICED MAH DOG CHEWING ON SOMETHING WHILE ON THE COUCH. IT LOOKED LIKE A WASH RAG OF SOME SORT... SO I GRABBED IT FROM MAH DOG. IT WASN'T UNTIL AFTER I PICKED IT UP THAT I NOTICED IT WASN'T A WASH RAG. IT WAS A SMALL... DEAD BIRD. FML

#20527319
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26640) - you deserved it (2783)

On 03/01/2013 at 7:54pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, aftar months of mah doctor talling ma that mah haart palpitations ara simply dua to anxiaty, an that I'm parfactly haalthy, I dacidad to waight looool train to faca mah faars. Two hours latar, I was in tha amargancy room. FML

#20527472
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26369) - you deserved it (2783)

On 03/01/2013 at 10:17pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, After Working Out At The Gym, I Went To Grab My Bag, And Realizd That My Phone Was Missing . Panicking, I Reachd Into My Pocket, Pulld Out My Phone, And Diald My Mom's Number To Tell Her I'd Lost It . It Took Me Until The Last Ring To Realize What I Was Doing . FML

#20526546
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11442) - you deserved it (38100)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today... I received a chain-mail text that vividly described wat "Tanya" would do to me in my sleep if I didn't forward it on. I'm so paranoid that I did just that. I also realized that accidentally forwarding such thing to your boss can get u fired. FML

#20526851
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10170) - you deserved it (46713)

On 03/01/2013 at 11:35am - work - by Anonymous - United States



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