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Today, I had a date with this guy. I waited at the restaurant for an hour and he didn't show. Thinking he stood me up, I went over to his place and keyed his car. Then I realized the date was for tomorrow. FML

#2597926
613 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7582) - you deserved it (122106)

On 06/04/2009 at 1:09pm - misc - by soljaboy (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my best friend who I've known since high school is getting married. I'm supposed to give a toast during the reception about how great the bride and groom are. I've been sleeping with the groom for the past 7 months. FML

#12294723
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9230) - you deserved it (121826)

On 08/03/2010 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Emily (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML

#2681681
369 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44808) - you deserved it (121189)

On 06/07/2009 at 2:02am - love - by dawg3360 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. When the police officer approached me and asked for license and registration, I accidentally gave him my fake I.D. FML

#1694446
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14701) - you deserved it (119933)

On 05/06/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by FakeID (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

#618069
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31667) - you deserved it (119418)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by douchetard (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I confessed to my girlfriend that I cheated on her. She told me that she needed time to think, and left. An hour later, her dad came by with a baseball bat. FML

#20691094
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21872) - you deserved it (119400)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I used my hair straightener to attempt to straighten my eyelashes and burned my eyelid. I don't know what's sadder, that fact I thought it would be fun, or that I was stupid enough to think I wouldn't hurt myself. FML

#15753750
382 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9264) - you deserved it (118082)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:01am - health - by sadcase - Australia

Today, I spent 300 dollars making colored flyers for my iPhone that I lost. On the flyer I wrote for whoever found it to call me and I would give a reward. I wrote the phone number of my iPhone that I lost. FML

#165039
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17786) - you deserved it (117861)

On 02/28/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by Mike (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

#2275729
726 comments

I agree, your life sucks (259704) - you deserved it (117060)

On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was playing and laughing with my new baby boy. He was giggling, and it was adorable. Out of nowhere I say "you're my favorite!". Now I'm sitting here talking to my two other children about how what I said earlier I didn't mean personally. They never want to talk to me again. FML

#1176288
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15167) - you deserved it (116621)

On 04/20/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by Damnlife123 (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home at 1am this morning from a friend's birthday party. I'm 30 years old. FML

#506231
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59536) - you deserved it (116401)

On 03/21/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by soliveyerlife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking the bus home from work. As I was getting off an old man whistled at me, I told him to go to hell and got off the bus. When the bus drove away the old man stood in the back of the bus, holding up the wallet I left that he was trying to give to me. FML

#551399
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11794) - you deserved it (115344)

On 03/23/2009 at 11:46am - misc - by lily (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
452 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34689) - you deserved it (115135)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)



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