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Today, I went to drive my mom's car for a change. It wouldn't start, so I open the hood. Someone had stolen the battery. I go to start my own car so I can drive to the police station to report the theft, and discover someone siphoned off my gas. FML

#6439470
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25921) - you deserved it (1740)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by bummer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to tell a parent about her son kicking a boy in his class. She blamed me for not watching him. I wasn't watching him because I was turned around to care for another boy he had hit right before that. FML

#19316250
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24915) - you deserved it (1740)

On 03/20/2012 at 8:23pm - kids - by LadyJ (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at work, the Disney Store. A little boy was crying so I went over to him. After talking to him for a little while I found out he couldn't find his mother. When he became comfortable I went to help him stand up, he choked back his tears and then puked all over me from the waist down. FML

#2866
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22468) - you deserved it (1738)

On 01/27/2009 at 3:02pm - work - by Ren - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came back to my dorm to find my roommate forgot to get rid of her massive amounts of cheese before break. She did, however, remember to unplug the refrigerator. FML

#20569021
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27720) - you deserved it (1736)

On 03/31/2013 at 8:45pm - misc - by roomatewoes (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was woken up to my mother screaming obscenities at me, all because I threw up last night after days of not feeling well, and the flushing of the toilet afterwards woke her up. FML

#18631126
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26161) - you deserved it (1735)

On 12/28/2011 at 1:32am - health - by loveurlifejk - United States

Today, I found out who my randomly assigned roommate was. Out of 10,000+ people, I just happen to get assigned a girl who threatened to kill me. FML

#19599121
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24886) - you deserved it (1735)

On 05/09/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by roomingwithevil - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while working in my pharmacy, a patient told me that he sometimes wants to jump the counter and skin me alive. He has no more refills, and his doctor is out of town for the week. FML

#17633447
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27018) - you deserved it (1734)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:22am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my fiancée informed me she'd invited her ex-husband to our wedding at her parents' request. FML

#19480512
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22399) - you deserved it (1734)

On 04/16/2012 at 8:57pm - love - by Tony (man) - United States

Today, my mother screamed at my boyfriend, calling him an "evil piece of self-centred trash". He's a sweet guy who does volunteer work for kids with learning difficulties. She's a bitter, passive-aggressive telemarketer who constantly harasses her own family with sales calls. FML

#20018594
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25433) - you deserved it (1734)

On 08/13/2012 at 11:20am - love - by millie219 (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, after having recently moved into shared accommodations, my prankster of a room-mate has somehow made sure I've yet again woken up with a tampon in my mouth. It's been three times in the past week. FML

#20036157
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18081) - you deserved it (1734)

On 08/22/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by idontbleedfromthere (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my long lost father came to visit me. He got drunk, then tried to beat me up. My neighbor called the police, and as soon as they got there, my father yelled, "Help! This man tried to stab me!" The sad part is, they believed him. FML

#18884912
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29910) - you deserved it (1733)

On 01/22/2012 at 9:59pm - misc - by Sadfaic (man) - United States

Today, my boss asked me what language I was speaking. I was clearly speaking English, but apparently, "indifferent" is too big a word for him to understand. I don't know how he got into a management position. FML

#18443070
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22561) - you deserved it (1733)

On 12/06/2011 at 3:57am - work - by snarly1 - United States (California)

Today, I crashed into a ditch on my way home from work. I had to walk 2 miles in -25 below zero weather before I could pick up a cell phone signal to call a tow truck. When I got back to my car, a cop was waiting for me with a ticket for leaving the scene of an accident. FML

#1542
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22073) - you deserved it (1731)

On 01/18/2009 at 5:29am - misc - by dirk855 - United States (Michigan)



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