Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was at work doing phone computer support helping a woman with her computer. I asked her to close all her open windows. She deleted all the important company documents in the open folder instead. I got fired because "close windows" and "delete" have become "too technical" for users. FML

#4133060
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53048) - you deserved it (2451)

On 07/29/2009 at 12:34pm - work - by pixelbaker (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, at work, I helped out an employee who was having trouble. I even bought her a bottle of water. After the production manager decided to fire her on the spot, she went out in the parking lot and broke into several cars, including mine. FML

#14639057
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27280) - you deserved it (2451)

On 01/19/2011 at 1:54pm - work - by peachesthepigeon (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, it was my first day being a full-time paramedic. I was shot in the arm. FML

#18850340
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39628) - you deserved it (2451)

On 01/19/2012 at 12:44am - work - by bad luck? - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to give my boyfriend an enema. FML

#20038693
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18502) - you deserved it (2451)

On 08/24/2012 at 1:21am - health - by coop7291 - United States

Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML

#20130811
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28860) - you deserved it (2451)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:15am - kids - by BobsBabe2 - United States

Today, my boss changed some company calendar settings on my computer to see what they'd be like. He didn't like it, so he told me to change it back, then left. I have no idea what he changed. FML

#21263813
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (250) - you deserved it (2451)

On 09/23/2014 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, while at my job, a couple became angry with me because I charged them for an extra ranch they'd ordered, as I'm supposed to. When I explained how it says in the menu how any additional sauces are an extra charge, she said nastily, "That's okay, we'll just take it out of your tip". FML

#21388872
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31438) - you deserved it (2451)

On 04/06/2015 at 8:58pm - work - by hexphoenix (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was pouring my heart out to my dad about how I'm such a loser and how I have no friends. He listened sympathetically, until his phone buzzed with a text message. He said "Balls, the guys from work wanna get shitfaced." and took a rain check on me. FML

#21447515
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22474) - you deserved it (2451)

On 07/26/2015 at 1:29pm - misc - by arch maester shavayalsharashion (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML

#482
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28658) - you deserved it (2450)

On 12/09/2008 at 10:09pm - love - by Clader - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to start my truck that I had parked in my driveway after a longhaul. The fuel gauge indicated I had a full tank. I didn't fill up. My neighbours' son decided to fill the tank with water with a hose. 150 litres worth on top of diesel. His dad's response: "Kids eh, what ya gonna do?" FML

#6449145
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37083) - you deserved it (2450)

On 11/25/2009 at 5:24pm - kids - by driver (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I clocked into work completely exhausted despite having gone to bed early. My roommates stayed up until 4am watching a movie, blasting music, and constantly giggling like madwomen. This is their "new and improved" schedule. FML

#14578996
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20470) - you deserved it (2450)

On 01/14/2011 at 3:34pm - misc - by hoops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom has forbidden me from drinking skim milk, because my sister is upset that I'm skinnier than her. The same sister who refuses to drink any other milk than 2% chocolate. FML

#20568813
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37211) - you deserved it (2450)

On 03/31/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by jll14 (woman) - Malaysia (Sabah)

Today, while waiting for my violin student to unpack his violin, he farted loudly and rhythmically on the sofa, and then went on about how it sounded like the "Shave and a Haircut" rhythm. FML

#21259194
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26684) - you deserved it (2450)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:17am - work - by cazzb - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: