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Today, I went out to inspect the backyard. There are now more than two dozen spiders hanging out and webs crossing from one side of the yard to the other. I have decided to surrender this territory. FML

#21445864
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24531) - you deserved it (2770)

On 07/23/2015 at 5:44am - animals - by Skoff (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out I have Raynaud's, a condition where your veins basically shut off all blood flow to your hands and feet if you get cold. Turns out "cold" for me is anything below 70 degrees. Oh, and I live in Ohio. FML

Today, I tried to clock in at work, only to have the clock tell me I "wasn't scheduled", so I asked my boss what was going on. Turns out I was fired, and this was her way of avoiding conflict. FML

#15416414
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35120) - you deserved it (2769)

On 03/21/2011 at 3:01pm - work - by anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that the weird lump on my eye is benign. That would be great news but they aren't going to treat it at all. Now I look like I'm high all the time. FML

#16016823
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26799) - you deserved it (2769)

On 05/02/2011 at 6:58am - health - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I paid $70 to learn from the vet that my cat doesn't have a UTI, he's just developed a fetish for peeing on plastic bags. FML

#18034258
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24852) - you deserved it (2769)

On 10/20/2011 at 9:13pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. It was going OK, until he started asking me if he should stick with the site until he finds the right person. I guess I know how he feels about me, at least. FML

#21372843
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30154) - you deserved it (2769)

On 03/11/2015 at 11:19pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my two managers, both over 30, were arguing over whether or not butter is a sauce. FML

#21401688
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27404) - you deserved it (2769)

On 04/29/2015 at 10:49am - work - by Goatczar - United States (Utah)

Today, I was working at the school when one of the kids came crying to me about needing help with his zipper after a little "accident". Forbidden by a district ordinance to touch them in certain areas, there was nothing I could do; to which he cried and pissed his pants. Again. FML

#6350911
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35808) - you deserved it (2768)

On 11/18/2009 at 1:05am - kids - by not_trained_for_this (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to tell me how much he loves me. He said a lot of wonderful things, such as not being able to live without me and hoping that I would want to live with him and marry him someday. He ended his loving speech with his ex-girlfriend's name instead of mine. FML

#6721141
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38959) - you deserved it (2768)

On 12/12/2009 at 10:47am - love - by 2ndchoice (woman) - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, I thought about how my dad went to get me a Halloween costume and hasn't come home yet. That was 11 years ago. We've moved twice since then. FML

#19369767
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43598) - you deserved it (2768)

On 03/29/2012 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came into the kitchen to see how dinner was coming along. My mother was milling the meat around the skillet with the cat's poop scooper as a spatula. FML

#20856980
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43855) - you deserved it (2768)

On 08/27/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I met my boyfriend's best friend. She was a girl he's known for years, and I respected that. She was sweet, until my boyfriend went to the bathroom and she threatened to stab me if I don't leave him. He doesn't believe me, and accused me of having serious jealousy issues. FML

#21340122
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39985) - you deserved it (2768)

On 01/19/2015 at 8:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I woke up to my husband slowly pulling my blanket off me. I thought he was being romantic until I realized it was because the cat had puked all over me while I was sleeping. FML

#13034308
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27435) - you deserved it (2767)

On 09/13/2010 at 12:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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