Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up by inhaling a fly up my nose, and feeling it twitching and slowly dying inside my nasal cavity. FML

#20027750
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26691) - you deserved it (1772)

On 08/18/2012 at 3:49am - misc - by sneaky1324 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was doing a presentation in front of my boss. On the last slide, someone had put a picture of a man's cock. I later found out it was my boss who did it. It was his "good reason" to fire me. FML

#20199630
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28483) - you deserved it (1772)

On 12/10/2012 at 9:05pm - work - by golfstar11 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has been having an affair with another woman. He works with me and the woman also works in the same company. She is also married and is now 6 months pregnant. They are throwing a baby shower for her on Monday. FML

#11922
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32343) - you deserved it (1771)

On 02/06/2009 at 4:32pm - love - by Flabbergasted (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML

#20131308
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20986) - you deserved it (1771)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:35pm - animals - by 12693 - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I am sick with a cold and I go to the most important interview of my life. A giant glob of wet snot comes out of my nose when I am expressing my desire to join their team. FML

#4150
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22808) - you deserved it (1770)

On 01/31/2009 at 1:20pm - work - by Larry - United States (California)

Today, I have a tooth infection that's spread to my jaw and ear. It hurts so badly that I'm practically in tears. Today's also the day I found out I'm allergic to the medication I was prescribed. Everything hurts, I'm covered in hives, and I can't stop throwing up. FML

#20165827
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31154) - you deserved it (1770)

On 11/16/2012 at 7:30pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Croatia (Primorsko-Goranska)

Today, my boss made me work a longer shift than usual. Not because he needed me in, but just so I'd finish at the same time as his brat of a son, and give him a lift home. FML

#19522593
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23476) - you deserved it (1768)

On 04/24/2012 at 4:15pm - work - by Mug - United Kingdom

Today, I received another letter of rejection from the university of my dreams. I got it the first time, but thanks for reminding me. FML

#20121056
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23880) - you deserved it (1767)

On 10/17/2012 at 2:52pm - misc - by ThreeTimesUnlucky - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was at the store with my grandpa. When we were rung up, he started to pay for our myriad groceries in coins, and the guy behind us groaned. My grandpa said, "shut your mouth," and started ranting about how stupid people are to leave paper trails for "government spooks." FML

#20006151
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17212) - you deserved it (1767)

On 08/06/2012 at 5:37pm - money - by for fucks sake gramps (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I decided to help my parents out by tearing down the old, rusty swing set that's been in our backyard for years. Little did I know that there was a beehive hidden in the long grass, and I now have dozens of painful red bumps all over me. FML

#20080686
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16267) - you deserved it (1766)

On 09/20/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by kirassi919 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my roommate came out of the bathroom, and asked me how the scales knew her weight in both pounds and kilos, even though "the exchange rate is always changing." I actually live with this idiot. FML

Today, as my girlfriend and I were finishing up a romantic dinner, she gazed into my eyes for a moment and said, "You know, sometimes you look like a character from Sesame Street." FML

#20153942
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16870) - you deserved it (1765)

On 11/07/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by derve - United States

Today, I went to a concert. One of my favorite bands was performing, and I'd had the ticket for seven months, with a great seat for the show. It was all going perfectly, that is until a guy twice my height sat in front of me. FML

#19781971
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22055) - you deserved it (1764)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:58pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: