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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was involved in a car accident. I wasn't the driver of either car. I happened to be a passerby that was hit by a falling stop sign as a car hit it. FML

#3660807
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54193) - you deserved it (2574)

On 07/11/2009 at 3:43am - misc - by ttsutaoka (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a concert. The music was great, but the drunk guys behind me made it hard to pay attention. Half way through the second act, one of them took it upon themselves to start peeing on me. FML

#17597553
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31879) - you deserved it (2574)

On 08/27/2011 at 6:40pm - misc - by concertqueen - United States (California)

Today, while on the train heading to my new job, my coat caught between two seats. I didn't notice until my stop. I whacked myself in the face in front of everyone trying to get it free, and ended up missing my stop. When I finally got to work, I was told not to bother coming in again. FML

#21365771
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32066) - you deserved it (2574)

On 03/01/2015 at 8:31am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I overheard my co-workers referring to me as "Uncle Fester". This is apparently my nickname around the office, and has been for nearly three years. I had no idea. FML

#21380389
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26482) - you deserved it (2574)

On 03/23/2015 at 9:49pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, for the third time this week, my boss made me switch desks. Each new desk is closer to the door than the last one. I think he's trying to tell me something. FML

#6479352
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31144) - you deserved it (2573)

On 11/27/2009 at 2:51pm - work - by Fmyoffice (man) - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, my roommate informed me that he took a bet to not shower or bathe until Christmas. The bet is for five bucks. FML

#12890603
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30776) - you deserved it (2573)

On 09/03/2010 at 8:11pm - misc - by stink (man) -

Today, I was mad at my mother. Why? We went to parent-teacher interviews, and she told my math teacher that she should allow bathroom breaks because I have a "very heavy menstrual flow." My teacher suggested I eat more red meat. They got into a seven-minute argument about this. FML

#13746005
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33078) - you deserved it (2573)

On 11/07/2010 at 12:04am - health - by noname (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was pulled over for going the wrong way on a closed highway. The construction signs pointed me in that direction, and the cop agreed that they should be fixed. Did it stop him from giving me a ticket anyway? Nope. FML

#18096005
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34042) - you deserved it (2573)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:59am - misc - by ashleyyyy - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML

#18088361
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25869) - you deserved it (2573)

On 10/27/2011 at 12:15pm - work - by last literate - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively searching the place for god knows what kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure they're not poisoned. FML

#20501281
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27209) - you deserved it (2573)

On 02/10/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by obsequiousfannyflapper (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, my girlfriend came back from her mission trip with hickies all over her boobs. She said it wasn't cheating because she was doing God's work and that they canceled each other out. FML

#21432849
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31317) - you deserved it (2573)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:29pm - love - by isaidfuckoff (woman) - United States

Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML

#8630
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50308) - you deserved it (2572)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:04pm - intimacy - by Sleeper_C3ll (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was pitching at a fastpitch softball game. The other team chanted about the ball being too high and almost hitting the batter in the eye. After throwing the next pitch, the ball was savagely returned by the batter, straight into my eyes. FML

#20009467
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20945) - you deserved it (2572)

On 08/08/2012 at 12:00pm - health - by Anonymous - United States



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