Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I landed in Hawaii for my vacation. I have a really bad ear infection, and to top my day off, my girlfriend blurted out mid-flight that she thinks we're not going to work out. Aloha! FML

#9025473
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25411) - you deserved it (1760)

On 03/12/2010 at 4:17pm - love - by aloha - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to sit between my parents in the car as they argued with one another for a whole hour over whether or not a thumb is a finger. FML

#19388204
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19257) - you deserved it (1759)

On 04/01/2012 at 12:15pm - misc - by totalloss - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to a job interview at a small family-owned business. After the interview, the owner's son took me into his office and told me I'm not getting the job and to get out, because apparently, the old man thinks I'm "possessed by a demon". FML

#19652325
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20397) - you deserved it (1759)

On 05/20/2012 at 3:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, in my AP Biology class, a student informed us she'd read that Antarctica had completely melted due to global warming, to which my friend gushed, "Yeah! It's been melted for, like, months." FML

#20193921
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20349) - you deserved it (1759)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:47pm - misc - by bieberslayer (woman) - United States

Today, I fell off my boyfriend's motorcycle. I had a few scrapes and bruises, and my boyfriend called for an ambulance as a precaution. The paramedics managed to drop me on my head. FML

#20177257
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25059) - you deserved it (1757)

On 11/24/2012 at 9:35pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I visited my grandparents' house. While getting a drink from the fridge, I noticed the Christmas card my family sent them had my face scratched out. When I confronted them about it, they said it was the cat. They don't have a cat. FML

#20445318
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22539) - you deserved it (1757)

On 01/06/2013 at 7:50pm - misc - by HatedGrandson - United States

Today, I became that small percent of people who face three different kinds of complications after their wisdom teeth are removed. FML

#9000843
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22586) - you deserved it (1755)

On 03/11/2010 at 5:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML

#20094121
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21695) - you deserved it (1755)

On 09/29/2012 at 8:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML

#20018901
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28519) - you deserved it (1754)

On 08/13/2012 at 3:25pm - misc - by jannister (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)

Today, I walk out of my apartment to find that my car is decorated with explicit drawings and "Happy 21st birthday" stuff written all over it. To top it off, my vehicle is completely wrapped in plastic wrap. I'm 22 and my birthday is in December. FML

#8992744
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22518) - you deserved it (1753)

On 03/11/2010 at 7:04am - misc - by er1133 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML

#19331410
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22023) - you deserved it (1753)

On 03/23/2012 at 5:44am - work - by ANNIEDBD - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, it was my birthday. My mom didn't buy me a present, throw a party, or acknowledge the event in any way. Last week it was our dog's birthday, which included a party for all the neighbourhood dogs, and a cake for our dog, made out of bacon. FML

#20134676
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30649) - you deserved it (1753)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:14pm - animals - by birthday girl (woman) - Australia

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been seeing another girl behind my back. The kicker is that he told her I was his lazy sister and had just moved in. FML

#20093138
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21892) - you deserved it (1753)

On 09/29/2012 at 1:38am - love - by thatonegirl.SBS. - United States (California)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: