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Today, I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining room, minding my own business when a spider lowered itself right in front of my face. It startled me, causing me to gasp, which resulted in me inhaling the spider. I then spent 3 minutes choking on it. FML

#19998761
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25106) - you deserved it (2700)

On 08/02/2012 at 5:08pm - misc - by danonno (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at a family meeting about opening up a business. During it, I had an allergic reaction and my throat began to close. Nobody tried to help. In fact, pictures were taken. FML

Today, I still didn't feel quite awake after the first lesson at school, so I went to get a cup of coffee from the vending machine. I had just enough money for it. No cup dropped into the holder, and the whole thing poured straight into the drip tray while I watched. FML

#21310620
85 comments

Today, I woke up to find my face all red and swollen. Turns out it is caused by the medication I’ve been taking for over a week now. Only in very rare cases it will cause redness on your skin. I’m glad to know I’m special. FML

#5974097
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25856) - you deserved it (2699)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:14pm - misc - by sexyswollen (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I drove my mom home from the salon because she was feeling sick. I'm not the best driver, but I was excited that I was helping. Everything was going smoothly until I hit a bump in the road. My mom blew chunks all over. I found out very quickly that she had spicy chicken for lunch. FML

#6958875
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21487) - you deserved it (2699)

On 12/26/2009 at 5:00pm - misc - by taylor_eileen - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend called me over for dinner. When I walked in the door, he asked why I was here; apparently he dialed the wrong girlfriend. FML

#13287186
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35760) - you deserved it (2699)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I met my biological father for the first time. He seemed to be slightly intoxicated from the outset, and less than half an hour later, he had tried to intimidate me into "loaning" him several hundred euros for reasons he wouldn't tell me. So long, "dad". FML

#20750358
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42245) - you deserved it (2699)

On 06/27/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by brigitte (woman) - France (Picardie)

Today, while eating cotton candy, a drunk person came up to me and said "HEY! COTTON CANDY!" And bit me. FML

#21249322
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36375) - you deserved it (2699)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was in pain due to overdoing it at the gym yesterday, so I thought a hot shower might help. Not only was there no hot water because of my sister's hour long showers, but I slipped getting out and hit my head. Now the pain is worse. FML

#8473008
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20111) - you deserved it (2698)

On 02/20/2010 at 9:03am - health - by bcoper - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boss quit his job and stopped coming in without warning. Guess who just inherited his tasks and responsibilities without the training or pay associated with his manager role. I was hired last year as a junior system admin. FML

#14267236
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22599) - you deserved it (2698)

On 12/20/2010 at 12:29am - work - by promoted (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was supposed to have a double date. My date didn't show. I spent my day in the living room waiting for the pizza guy while my best friend and her boyfriend made out. The pizza guy never showed either. FML

#17036855
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33784) - you deserved it (2698)

On 07/09/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by supergingerr11 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML

#17906392
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28929) - you deserved it (2698)

On 10/04/2011 at 8:14pm - love - by Nickolas Neffster - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my grandson visited me, and asked if I had any pictures of myself from when I was a little girl. I happily looked for a few photos to give him, asking what had piqued his curiosity. He replied that he wanted some for a presentation he's doing on the Middle Ages. FML

#20555821
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32293) - you deserved it (2698) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/22/2013 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Lorraine)



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