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Today, my father came back from a business trip in Canada. He handed me an "I Love Canada" pen. He brought back an xbox 360 for my younger brother. FML

#70401
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64737) - you deserved it (3107)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:59pm - misc - by lalalee (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend called me to come over because we "needed to talk." Going down the stairs, I tripped and fell. I woke up from unconsciousness with a hurting leg and my boyfriend standing over me. Just as I was about to smile and ask for a kiss, he said, "Maybe we should take a break" and left. FML

#6435138
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31491) - you deserved it (3107)

On 11/24/2009 at 11:08am - love - by Yes (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me. Why? He said his mom didn't want us together anymore. His mom died three years ago. FML

#10594488
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35840) - you deserved it (3107)

On 05/17/2010 at 7:01pm - love - by Babygirl - Sent from mobile version

Today, my ex fiancée, who left me six months ago, asked if I'd mind if she used the wedding dress I bought her for our wedding. She's just gotten engaged again. FML

#15604755
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37273) - you deserved it (3107)

On 04/02/2011 at 12:44pm - love - by Jon (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

#20503655
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29875) - you deserved it (3107)

On 02/12/2013 at 1:43pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went to work at my job as a secretary. I had been given the task to file my boss's collection of Playboy magazines alphabetically by name of the centerfold. There was one for every month from the years of 1980 until now. FML

#20895973
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35795) - you deserved it (3107)

On 09/25/2013 at 7:22pm - work - by Abcporn (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML

#21279658
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37513) - you deserved it (3107)

On 10/17/2014 at 6:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was stuck in the elevator for almost two hours. Where was the elevator mechanic? Next to me in the elevator. FML

#21098357
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44191) - you deserved it (3106)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:42am - work - by ClaustrophobicNightmares - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, while looking in the mirror at my full-blown grease-spewing acne-riddled face, my father came up behind me and said, "Don't worry son, I had acne like that when I was your age". I replied, "No you didn't", and his immediate response while laughing was, "No, I didn't." FML

#18843385
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30637) - you deserved it (3106)

On 01/18/2012 at 10:18am - health - by harshdoobie (man) - Canada

Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML

#20458321
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35630) - you deserved it (3106)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, a co-worker invited me to go out for lunch with him. I politely declined, saying I had too many errands to do. The truth is that I'm just too broke. I'll be buying myself a burrito using quarters I found on the floor of my car. FML

Today, I was picking up my 10 year old step-son from the airport. He began screaming and crying saying that I wasn't his father. I ended up sitting in a holding room because the security guards thought I was kidnapping him. My wife thought it was hilarious. FML

#5525269
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44905) - you deserved it (3105)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:13am - kids - by justgreat (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in the middle of having sex with my girlfriend. I told her that I loved her. She asked me how much wind-shield wiper blades cost. FML

#7296803
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21025) - you deserved it (3105)

On 01/12/2010 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Upbrakie - United States



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