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Today, I came to the conclusion I have three kids instead of two, after having to force my husband to take a shower. It's been a week. FML

#21288837
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28071) - you deserved it (2802)

On 10/31/2014 at 1:10am - health - by NoScrubs - United States (California)

Today, I was at the store when I saw that a cart in the checkout line next to me was starting to roll away and the owner hadn't noticed. I tried to help by reaching out to stop the cart from moving, but when the owner saw me with the cart, she began to hit me for trying to steal her purse. FML

#4481809
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37603) - you deserved it (2801)

On 08/12/2009 at 6:43pm - misc - by NoticeTheLackOfNumbers (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that my anxious and obsessive mother is going to drive three hours every weekend to attend a Johns Hopkins medical course on stress reduction. Why is this bad? I just left home for college and have enjoyed my last two weeks of freedom without her around. I attend Johns Hopkins. FML

#5274396
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33792) - you deserved it (2801)

On 09/15/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by notcool - United States (Maryland)

Today, I spent the entire day at the hospital and was sent home attached to an obnoxious and somewhat painful heart monitor. I felt fine and decided to go to a bonfire with a few friends. I thought everyone was being nice until I overheard the guys referring to me as an unattractive xbox. FML

#6468992
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25836) - you deserved it (2801)

On 11/26/2009 at 9:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was in pain due to overdoing it at the gym yesterday, so I thought a hot shower might help. Not only was there no hot water because of my sister's hour long showers, but I slipped getting out and hit my head. Now the pain is worse. FML

#8473008
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21225) - you deserved it (2801)

On 02/20/2010 at 9:03am - health - by bcoper - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was approached by a police officer who instructed me to move because I was "threatening the elderly". I was sitting on a park bench in front of an old folks home. FML

#16675458
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28353) - you deserved it (2801)

On 06/15/2011 at 10:23am - misc - by random - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML

#17304859
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35748) - you deserved it (2801)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:15am - kids - by NaomiMadison - United States

Today, I talked to my father for the first time in several years. I proudly told him that I have been attending Beauty School. He looked me up and down and said, "Doesn't look like you've learned much." FML

#19772636
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23185) - you deserved it (2801)

On 06/11/2012 at 7:39pm - misc - by beautyschool22 (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend had a tantrum because I didn't like Black Sabbath as much as him. Apparently our entire relationship was based on him thinking I did. I've now been labeled "The Queen of Lies." FML

#20108628
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19450) - you deserved it (2801)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:39am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I went to take a piss in a public bathroom. Somehow, I managed to completely jam the lock. After minutes of trying to get myself out, I gave up and crawled under the stall, at which point someone walked in and was very surprised to see me on the floor. FML

#21336053
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25319) - you deserved it (2801)

On 01/12/2015 at 9:47pm - misc - by downinthedumps - United States (Michigan)

Today, a very pretty girl came up to me and asked me for my phone number. Very pleased, I give it to her with a huge smile and tell her that I can be reached at any time. I then watch her go back to her group of friends. My number was for her gay friend, who then meekly waved at me. FML

#718
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23618) - you deserved it (2800)

On 01/06/2009 at 6:58am - love - by musamalia - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had my first day off in weeks. I was excited about getting to sleep in, until my boss called me at 6:30 in the morning to remind me I didn't have to come into work. Thanks. FML

#5482829
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35271) - you deserved it (2800)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by NoSleep (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend was fired. After breaking the news, he also broke up with me. Apparently, his boss had a creepy crush on me and would give my boyfriend bonuses for bringing me to company events and, occasionally, out on the boss's personal boat. Looks like I am no longer useful. FML

#4591074
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48443) - you deserved it (2800)

On 08/17/2009 at 1:43am - love - by TrophyGirlfriend (woman) - United States (Texas)



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