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Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML

#6386957
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24808) - you deserved it (1995)

On 11/21/2009 at 12:03am - work - by beckbm23 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was on a job trial at the local pet shop and, naturally, was doing all the disgusting jobs. As I was cleaning the kittens' litter in the cat enclosure, someone thought it would be funny to lock me in there. I sat in a giant cage in the middle of the store with people laughing at me. FML

#7373793
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21733) - you deserved it (1995)

On 01/16/2010 at 4:10am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the driver's side window of my car was busted, and inside was a note that said, "Sorry, thought this was my car." FML

#16932864
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30394) - you deserved it (1995)

On 07/01/2011 at 4:31am - misc - by Rick - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML

#20118231
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33722) - you deserved it (1995)

On 10/15/2012 at 4:27pm - love - by 3023-dang - United States

Today, after completely refilling my almost empty gas tank, I witnessed the price flip from $3.69 per gallon to $3.59. FML

#20082194
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22400) - you deserved it (1995)

On 09/21/2012 at 2:49pm - money - by The Drew - United States

Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML

#20154716
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25882) - you deserved it (1995)

On 11/08/2012 at 6:09am - kids - by Shauna (woman) - United States

Today, my dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML

#20438971
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31754) - you deserved it (1995)

On 01/02/2013 at 4:53pm - animals - by Anon. -

Today, I rented a car that has a smart key. The proximity of the key determines if the doors will unlock. I went to a meeting and returned to the car with the trunk popped open and all my luggage gone. The rental company decided to store a spare key in the glovebox for safe keeping. FML

#4494514
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35662) - you deserved it (1994)

On 08/13/2009 at 2:42am - work - by NoKeyNoCar - United States (California)

Today, I sneezed while I was throwing up into the toilet. It turns out that throwing up is even less pleasant when the puke violently shoots out through your nose. FML

#8554799
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28089) - you deserved it (1994)

On 02/22/2010 at 2:32pm - health - by mynoseburns (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I discovered that during fire drills, my school lines everyone up next to some extremely flammable and explosive propane tanks. If we ever have a real fire, we will all die. FML

#19164372
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26517) - you deserved it (1994)

On 02/25/2012 at 11:18pm - misc - by afraidtoburn (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

#19511225
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18067) - you deserved it (1994)

On 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, at my wedding, my husband's drunk friend admitted that the only reason my husband and I started dating was because he was dared. FML

#19644675
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22479) - you deserved it (1994)

On 05/19/2012 at 12:17am - love - by Asdf649 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was perusing my mom's Facebook. I noticed she has an album of pictures for each member of the family, except me. The dog has an album. FML

#8790024
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20304) - you deserved it (1993)

On 03/03/2010 at 12:08am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)



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