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Today, I met my recently divorced mother's new boyfriend. He is missing teeth and has long hair and a mangy beard. Horrified, I left the room, only to hear my mother telling my sister, "The sex is phenomenal!" FML

#12550776
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31915) - you deserved it (3134)

On 08/16/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, and for the first time in months, I woke up feeling well rested and ready to face the day. At 7pm. FML

#21406879
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25233) - you deserved it (3134)

On 05/08/2015 at 5:32pm - health - by better late than never -

Today, at work, my boss made me spend a hour trying to catch a baby raccoon in the parking lot. I'm a bank teller. FML

#13525218
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26607) - you deserved it (3133)

On 10/20/2010 at 2:08pm - work - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my entire family thinks I have no friends, am expressionless (to quote, "a robot") and that my monotonous voice hints at the suppressed depression hidden deep inside me. According to them, I need psychic evaluation. It all came out at a family reunion. FML

#8993949
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22251) - you deserved it (3133)

On 03/11/2010 at 9:28am - misc - by talhabilal - Pakistan (Punjab)

Today, I went to a New Year's party with my boyfriend. Later into the night, he got drunk, and left me there to go to another party with his friends. I have no car, and no way to get home. FML

#14417379
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22622) - you deserved it (3133)

On 01/01/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by Alana - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got trapped in a glass elevator at the mall. My father walked right by the elevator, laughed and went into a store. A fireman got me out. FML

#16990171
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32260) - you deserved it (3133)

On 07/05/2011 at 6:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

#19971025
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29669) - you deserved it (3133)

On 07/21/2012 at 10:30pm - health - by Luna - United States (New York)

Today, I had my first orgasm. I also came to the realization that whenever I orgasm I get an uncontrollable case of hiccups for at least half an hour afterwards. FML

#20145633
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27931) - you deserved it (3133)

On 11/03/2012 at 11:52am - intimacy - by hiccups - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML

#20484554
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31178) - you deserved it (3133)

On 01/29/2013 at 9:51am - health - by oh no (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while at the office, a surprise Valentine's gift arrived for me, the first I've ever received. It was a box of heart-shaped cookies. From my mother. I'm 39. FML

#21355623
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27570) - you deserved it (3133)

On 02/13/2015 at 10:49pm - love - by FMAhole - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got to my weekly drama group a bit late. Everyone looked surprised when I walked in. Casually, I sat down and apologised for being late. I thought everyone looked awkward, probably because it turned out I'd been kicked out of the group. The teacher had decided to announce it before making sure I'd got the email. FML

#13045584
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23699) - you deserved it (3132)

On 09/14/2010 at 4:31am - misc - by a7xforever (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was sitting on a plane waiting for everyone to get on. A cute guy around my age had the option of sitting next to me or an old guy. He gave me a horrified look and immediately sat next to the old man. I got to sit next to his mother. She evil eyed me the whole time. FML

#13567439
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24175) - you deserved it (3132)

On 10/23/2010 at 8:50pm - misc - by ugly me - United States (Colorado)

Today, it marks the fourth month since my 15-year-old cousin asked me out, then started practically stalking me when I said no. It's also the fourth month of my parents and his constantly telling me to stop overreacting and that it's "just a phase." FML

#20740640
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44524) - you deserved it (3132)

On 06/22/2013 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)



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