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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, and for the first time in months, I woke up feeling well rested and ready to face the day. At 7pm. FML

#21406879
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25233) - you deserved it (3136)

On 05/08/2015 at 5:32pm - health - by better late than never -

Today, I was standing in a queue when an old lady turned, looked straight at me, and asked me to hold her bag. Confused, I took a hold of it. She started screaming for help claiming I was stealing her shopping. Turns out, she was talking to her husband behind me. FML

#7739701
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29448) - you deserved it (3135)

On 01/31/2010 at 9:46am - misc - by bthms - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML

#8587618
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25164) - you deserved it (3135)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by disgusted - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realised my dad speaks to me the same way he speaks to my dog when she's done something bad. FML

#13459944
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22103) - you deserved it (3135)

On 10/15/2010 at 3:35pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML

#19379891
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22285) - you deserved it (3135)

On 03/31/2012 at 12:22am - health - by GetHardOrGoHome - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that my creepy neighbor paid a guy to install a camera in my bathroom. It's been there for three months. The guy he paid? My brother. FML

#20741960
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54347) - you deserved it (3135)

On 06/23/2013 at 12:37am - misc - by part time all the time - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

#20842823
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52329) - you deserved it (3135)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:37am - kids - by DrtySnchez - United States (Georgia)

Today, I told my husband that while he was away I had had a miscarriage. His response? "If you can't take care of our baby while it is still inside you, how can I trust you to take care of it when it comes out?" FML

#6752846
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38777) - you deserved it (3134)

On 12/14/2009 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by sadsadlady (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I was in a rush to get to the toilet, I went in and sat on the seat. Then I felt a stinging pain on my left bum cheek. I jumped up quickly to see a wasp splashing around in the bowl. It stung me, and now have a bum cheek twice its normal size, and pee all over my pants. FML

#7243511
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28269) - you deserved it (3134)

On 01/09/2010 at 8:23pm - animals - by targetlove (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I met my recently divorced mother's new boyfriend. He is missing teeth and has long hair and a mangy beard. Horrified, I left the room, only to hear my mother telling my sister, "The sex is phenomenal!" FML

#12550776
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31915) - you deserved it (3134)

On 08/16/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at work, my boss made me spend a hour trying to catch a baby raccoon in the parking lot. I'm a bank teller. FML

#13525218
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26608) - you deserved it (3133)

On 10/20/2010 at 2:08pm - work - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my entire family thinks I have no friends, am expressionless (to quote, "a robot") and that my monotonous voice hints at the suppressed depression hidden deep inside me. According to them, I need psychic evaluation. It all came out at a family reunion. FML

#8993949
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22254) - you deserved it (3133)

On 03/11/2010 at 9:28am - misc - by talhabilal - Pakistan (Punjab)

Today, I went to a New Year's party with my boyfriend. Later into the night, he got drunk, and left me there to go to another party with his friends. I have no car, and no way to get home. FML

#14417379
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22623) - you deserved it (3133)

On 01/01/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by Alana - Australia (Victoria)



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