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Today, my ex told me she still misses having sex with me. Her next text was "but it's still over." FML

#6211757
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19974) - you deserved it (2991)

On 11/08/2009 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by peacexout108 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my (now former) best friend kicked me out of the band I started because I wasn't 'dedicated enough' after a 3 day 'holiday' to visit my dying uncle. He also during this 3 day 'holiday' convinced my girl friend to leave me and date him. FML

#5287985
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53507) - you deserved it (2991)

On 09/16/2009 at 4:25am - misc - by dj163 (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, was my uncle's funeral. He was cremated, and his wish was to have his ashes spread into the sea. As we were waiting for the waves to come and take him away, a group of seagulls came by picking at all his ashes. I guess he tasted good. FML

#12782393
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29359) - you deserved it (2991)

On 08/28/2010 at 2:07am - misc - by SeagullsShouldDie - United States

Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML

#14991299
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30172) - you deserved it (2991)

On 02/15/2011 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by bitchasaurusrex (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, MS Word kept crashing with a memory error, so I called tech support. Instead of actually fixing the problem, their tech wasted over an hour of my time defragmenting the hard drive, disabling the anti-virus, and downloading new video card drivers from some shady site, before giving up. FML

#18283702
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23280) - you deserved it (2992)

On 11/18/2011 at 7:48pm - work - by I quit (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, someone came over and told my mother, "I'm your son's friend Morris, I need to get something out of his car", so she gave him the keys. I have no friend called Morris, and now I don't have a sound system either. FML

#17266001
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36901) - you deserved it (2991)

On 07/26/2011 at 9:35am - misc - by ceetee - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finally found out where my great grandmother's antique handheld mirror disappeared to. According to the headmaster, my eleven year old son has been using it to look up his classmates' dresses at school. FML

#18095275
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25856) - you deserved it (2991)

On 10/28/2011 at 8:25am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my little sister is marrying my ex, and that my mother set them up. FML

#18959859
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42402) - you deserved it (2991)

On 01/31/2012 at 9:41am - love - by Random (woman) - United States

Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML

#20681121
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46126) - you deserved it (2991)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by Mylifesucks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

#21311441
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42338) - you deserved it (2991)

On 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my grandpa died. As I rushed home crying to comfort my parents, I got pulled over for speeding. The officer told me to cut out the "fake" tears". When I told him my grandpa just died he tacked on another $100 for lying to an officer. Worst. Christmas. Ever. FML

#6926998
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43232) - you deserved it (2990)

On 12/24/2009 at 7:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at Wal-Mart where all the aisles had been moved. An elderly woman asked me where the pet products were, so I told her that I didn't know, but showed her where they could be. An hour later, she came back with security. She'd told them I'd purposefully gotten her lost. They threw me out. FML

#13718235
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28324) - you deserved it (2990)

On 11/04/2010 at 8:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend said I looked like ET and made me pose next to a full scale model of him while she took a picture. She's showing her friends the picture and they agree. FML

#17795407
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25473) - you deserved it (2990)

On 09/21/2011 at 12:42pm - love - by srloin (man) - United States



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