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Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

by identitychangeplease / 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy

Today, I have pink eye in both eyes, the stomach virus, and a cold. I'm also sitting at work because my boss "doesn't believe in sick days." FML

by sicksicksick / 06/19/2013 at 1:23pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, after weeks of my girlfriend constantly mentioning pegging and asking me to let her do it, I caved and figured I might as well stand by my "try anything once" rule. Her response? Saying she knew I was gay all along and dumping me. The fuck? FML

by no I've never asked for anal / 09/20/2015 at 9:44am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I had sex with my new boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he said: "I know women who would be really self-conscious about nipples like that. I love that you accept yourself." I had no clue there was anything odd about my nipples. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2010 at 4:30am / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Intimacy

Today, I got mugged. I also got an extra kick in the face for not having money in my wallet. FML

by Tanner / 07/16/2011 at 2:23am / United States (Tennessee) / Money

Today, my boyfriend's jaw was swollen due to him not taking care of a cracked tooth. He's convinced it was actually caused by an STD, and accused me of giving it to him. FML

by STIdiot / 10/17/2011 at 8:12am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, the family in the apartment next to me decided to give their 4-year-old kid a recorder. It's been three hours. Kill me. FML

by pleasestop / 04/30/2014 at 10:13pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Kids

Today, after handing over the cash to buy my sister's car off her, she refused to sign any of the paperwork, and later put an ad on Craigslist selling the same car. I got scammed by my own sister. FML

Today, I went to the Salvation Army to donate some clothes. As I was handing over the 4 huge bags that I had carried for 10 blocks, while 6 months pregnant, somebody stole my purse. FML

by mugged / 12/15/2010 at 6:58am / Germany (Hessen) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML

by fingerhut / 03/03/2012 at 3:27am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 9:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after being forced to take my little sister trick-or-treating, we had the cops called on us twice. She thought it would be funny to tell all the people giving out candy that I'd been following her around and that she had no idea who I was, and that she was scared of me. FML

by PumaPounce / 11/02/2013 at 12:50am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML

by imblue42 / 06/24/2015 at 1:16am / United States / Love