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Today, I locked myself out of the house. After hours of ringing the doorbell and calling my roommate, I decided to break the window. When I finally got in, my roommate was waiting with a can of pepper spray. FML

Today, at around 2am, I was walking through a parking lot to my car when a man walking behind me told me not to be scared. I turned around to tell him there was no problem. He was naked. FML

#18991669
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31420) - you deserved it (2750) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/04/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by DarkDolly - France

Today, I reached a new level of commitment in my relationship with my boyfriend. This happened when he pooped on the side of the road beside my truck, while talking and making eye contact with me while wiping. FML

#19661428
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21020) - you deserved it (2750)

On 05/22/2012 at 8:21am - love - by ordinaryday - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my grandparents thought it would be acceptable to give me and my wife Christmas presents to take to my ex-wife, along with a card saying how much they missed her and to get in touch with them next time she is in town. FML

#6843918
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23955) - you deserved it (2749)

On 12/20/2009 at 8:40am - misc - by B-Rizzle (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend decided to be very naughty and placed her underwear in my backpack. I wish she had told me, because it slipped into a folder that contained my project data for my professor. So, after class, I got sent to the Dean of Students' office to talk about sexual harassment. FML

#5605525
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33138) - you deserved it (2749)

On 10/02/2009 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my friend decided to jump out of a moving car. I had to explain to the nice old lady who stopped that my friend who was convulsing on the ground wasn't on drugs, he's just really stupid. FML

#17903189
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24924) - you deserved it (2749)

On 10/04/2011 at 11:10am - misc - by dmanrique - United States (Texas)

Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML

#17694165
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23442) - you deserved it (2749)

On 09/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by all5fingers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband told me to stop faking being sick, because, "morning sickness doesn't happen after noon." FML

#19460705
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27734) - you deserved it (2749)

On 04/13/2012 at 10:15am - love - by prego - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom is convinced that my cat is the reincarnation of Vincent van Gogh. Why? He sleeps under my sunflowers and is a ginger tabby cat. FML

#20854246
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33357) - you deserved it (2749)

On 08/25/2013 at 9:16pm - animals - by KatVanGogh (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth taken out. I happen to be allergic to all types of pain medication. FML

#14286493
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35713) - you deserved it (2748)

On 12/21/2010 at 3:25pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML

#20413058
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32416) - you deserved it (2748)

On 12/22/2012 at 3:06am - work - by Iknoweverything (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I just got done reading all the healthy benefits that come with sex. One of them is higher self-esteem. Then I remembered that I haven't had sex in 15 months. FML

#1555
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20681) - you deserved it (2747)

On 01/18/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by SSH - United States (Florida)

Today, my crush of over a year came over for me to take her on our first date. Today was also the day my drunk parents decided to dance the chicken dance in our front yard, naked. FML

#7278276
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33372) - you deserved it (2747)

On 01/11/2010 at 1:12pm - love - by JK2010 (man) - Israel (Hefa)



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Thursday 11 September 2014

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