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Today, I lost my virginity to my long time boyfriend and found out I'm severely allergic to latex. I also found out that my family doctor had been transferred to the ER. He went to play golf with my dad later. FML

#7257583
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18634) - you deserved it (2993)

On 01/10/2010 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by Foxy (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML

#7946481
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22685) - you deserved it (2993)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom (York)

Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML

#16474774
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37442) - you deserved it (2993)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:44pm - work - by corn - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, the creepy girl in my history class told me that she once spent a whole period doing nothing but counting the freckles on the right side of my face, and that I have more than she's ever seen before on anyone else combined. FML

#17712418
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30006) - you deserved it (2993)

On 09/10/2011 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML

#18545148
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21213) - you deserved it (2993)

On 12/18/2011 at 2:31pm - animals - by dogh8er (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while I was waiting to pull out of a parking space, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to put the car into reverse instead of drive while I was waiting for traffic to clear. I don't think the people who own the car behind me were laughing. Nor is my now ex-boyfriend. FML

#19692417
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25552) - you deserved it (2993)

On 05/28/2012 at 5:38am - misc - by Broke (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my wife received a $15,000 bonus from her work. I got a backpack from mine. FML

#21300231
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28019) - you deserved it (2993)

On 11/16/2014 at 6:25pm - misc - by INeedaNewJob (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a minor outpatient procedure that required sedation. I am not supposed to drive or even be alone for 24 hours. My husband wouldn't take the day off to go with me, and instead of coming home from work, he is at the bar with his coworkers. FML

#6278977
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29557) - you deserved it (2993)

On 11/12/2009 at 8:54pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, waking up I noticed that my female boss had texted me during the night, telling me she wants me bad. I'm a woman, happily married to a man, and now have to turn her down somehow and not get fired in the process. FML

#13700074
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33328) - you deserved it (2992)

On 11/03/2010 at 10:35am - intimacy - by tuppu (woman) - Finland

Today, it's my birthday. The only "happy birthday"s I got were from my mom, her Facebook account, and the Facebook account she made for her cat. FML

#20991213
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40691) - you deserved it (2992)

On 12/13/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by carboncoach (man) - Egypt

Today, my ex told me she still misses having sex with me. Her next text was "but it's still over." FML

#6211757
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19977) - you deserved it (2991)

On 11/08/2009 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by peacexout108 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my (now former) best friend kicked me out of the band I started because I wasn't 'dedicated enough' after a 3 day 'holiday' to visit my dying uncle. He also during this 3 day 'holiday' convinced my girl friend to leave me and date him. FML

#5287985
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53507) - you deserved it (2991)

On 09/16/2009 at 4:25am - misc - by dj163 (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was at Wal-Mart where all the aisles had been moved. An elderly woman asked me where the pet products were, so I told her that I didn't know, but showed her where they could be. An hour later, she came back with security. She'd told them I'd purposefully gotten her lost. They threw me out. FML

#13718235
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28324) - you deserved it (2991)

On 11/04/2010 at 8:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)



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