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Today, my boss asked me to take some of the female mannequins and change the outfits. As I was changing them, I realized that this was the most action I've gotten in almost a year. Not only am I twenty-seven, but I'm married. FML

#5346939
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25484) - you deserved it (3461)

On 09/19/2009 at 4:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving with my mom. She had some soda with her from earlier, and even though it was probably warm, I was thirsty. I ask for a sip, she hands it to me and says sure. And I get a mouthful of ash-and-cigarette-butt-filled soda. Apparently she didn't feel the need to mention this to me. FML

#8637899
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29316) - you deserved it (3461)

On 02/25/2010 at 11:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I started my spring break. My college is letting the students stay in the dorms for break, so I figured that staying here would mean getting more sleep than going home. Not so much. The fire alarm has been going off every 20 mins since 7:30am because they're "fixing" it. FML

#8916498
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23879) - you deserved it (3462)

On 03/08/2010 at 9:46am - misc - by sleepy2010 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was sitting on a plane waiting for everyone to get on. A cute guy around my age had the option of sitting next to me or an old guy. He gave me a horrified look and immediately sat next to the old man. I got to sit next to his mother. She evil eyed me the whole time. FML

#13567439
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27657) - you deserved it (3461)

On 10/23/2010 at 8:50pm - misc - by ugly me - United States (Colorado)

Today, I met my boyfriend's grandma for the first time. Trying to make a good impression, I offered to wash the dishes. I accidentally broke the faucet. FML

#19994302
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24135) - you deserved it (3461)

On 07/31/2012 at 10:28am - misc - by gmd05 (woman) - United States

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

#20872880
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53128) - you deserved it (3461)

On 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, my biology professor was giving a lecture to everyone and used me as an example. For what? Traits men are repulsed by in potential mates. FML

#21119838
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41029) - you deserved it (3461)

On 04/22/2014 at 11:26am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my mom asked me to look through old VHS tapes to throw away, I found one that said "Ashley's kindergarten Play-'95", I put the tape in, it begins to play, only to see "Days of our lives", "Melrose Place", and "ER". My childhood memories are ranked lower than tv shows. FML

#863008
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57913) - you deserved it (3460)

On 04/07/2009 at 10:53pm - love - by 4gottenmemories (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, out of all the cars in the parking lot, mine got struck by lightning. FML

#13442397
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40411) - you deserved it (3460)

On 10/14/2010 at 3:15am - misc - by A. - United States

Today, I was at Walmart. A guy in a mobility scooter bumped into me, then told me to "get the fuck out of the way." When I told him to watch his mouth, he got up and shoved me into a shelf. Just a few minutes prior, he'd yelled that he was paralyzed from the waist down. FML

#20797503
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50696) - you deserved it (3460)

On 07/22/2013 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a message from my teacher about my homework. We were supposed to write an original myth explaining a natural event. My teacher bumped my grade for it down to a C for copying a myth that already exists. My myth was based on an original story I've been writing for two years. FML

#20869277
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40641) - you deserved it (3460)

On 09/05/2013 at 7:27pm - misc - by WritesTooWell - United States (Florida)

Today, my father described me as "the sort of sucker women marry then cheat on all the time." My mother agreed with him. FML

#21279077
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36582) - you deserved it (3460)

On 10/16/2014 at 1:07pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML

#21499606
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23428) - you deserved it (3460)

On 12/03/2015 at 7:52am - intimacy - by snortingspunk (woman) - South Africa



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