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Today, I held a container while a patient tried to throw up in it. She missed. FML

#6268866
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24949) - you deserved it (2805)

On 11/12/2009 at 2:14am - work - by FML (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my husband actually was cleaning our bathrooms. I had to pee and the floor was wet in my upstairs bathroom. My wonderful husband told me to go downstairs. I did and sat on the toilet seat which felt wet. He forgot he had sprayed it with Tilex. Chemical burns on your butt are great. FML

#8598142
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21442) - you deserved it (2805)

On 02/23/2010 at 8:26pm - misc - by susan - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom scolded me for not taking driving lessons already. This comes a few days after she told me that, "Allowing teenagers to drive is just another way of thinning out the gene pool". FML

#17232023
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24816) - you deserved it (2804)

On 07/23/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by Norah (woman) - United States

Today, I was having a nice dream in which a beautiful butterfly flew by me and got stuck in my hair, fluttering its wings against my neck. Then I woke up and realized the "butterfly" stuck in my hair was actually a giant wood roach. FML

#16632330
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39122) - you deserved it (2804)

On 06/12/2011 at 7:33pm - animals - by Jenievonteese (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered my mother went into the local pub where I work part time, got very drunk, and flashed her boobs at everyone. I found out when a picture was posted on Facebook. FML

#16527434
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33559) - you deserved it (2804)

On 06/06/2011 at 9:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML

#17078615
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29063) - you deserved it (2804)

On 07/12/2011 at 9:34am - misc - by Ghettogirl4life - United States (Arizona)

Today, my sister is visiting. She used more toilet paper today than I have in two months. FML

#18587898
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22340) - you deserved it (2804)

On 12/23/2011 at 10:45am - misc - by jriese444 - United States (Virginia)

Today, after having watched a scare story on the news about heart disease, my mom is now insisting that we have daily, hour-long, family yoga sessions together. I have a job, and barely have enough time to do my homework as it is. I'm going to be grounded if I don't take part. FML

#18749747
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25163) - you deserved it (2804)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:59pm - health - by marie519 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, while riding back from a weekend away with my boyfriend, we crashed his motorbike, resulting in us getting thrown over a barbed wire fence into a forest. I woke up in hospital. Apparently, in his adrenaline rush, he climbed back on his bike and continued his trip, forgetting all about me. FML

#18868829
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35728) - you deserved it (2804)

On 01/21/2012 at 6:59am - misc - by superficialheart - China

Today, as always, I have a very weak stomach. I'm in Japan right now, and all the unfamiliar foods set me off every time I eat. I can choose between having a great time and starving myself half to death, or sitting in my hotel room all day with stomach pains and diarrhea. FML

#19899821
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19593) - you deserved it (2804)

On 07/06/2012 at 12:04pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, at a talent show, my band got booed before we even started playing. FML

#20188582
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20227) - you deserved it (2804)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:26pm - misc - by disembob - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend admitted that she "probably wasn't even sober" when I asked her out and she said yes. Our almost 2-year relationship is the longest drunken mistake ever. FML

#21260142
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33058) - you deserved it (2804)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:22pm - love - by KayEffEh (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to our school golf banquet, after being with the team and practicing every day for a few months with them. When it came time to get the certificates, all the names were called out. Except for mine. When I asked the coach where my certificate was, he said "Who are you?". FML

#6158191
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29747) - you deserved it (2803)

On 11/04/2009 at 9:12pm - misc - by RKE (man) - United States (Virginia)



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