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Today, I had an allergy test. Not only was I allergic to 35 out of the 40 items, they also found out that I'm allergic to the latex gloves my doctor happened to be wearing. Now my entire back is covered in a rash that will last at least another week. FML

#20783362
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46650) - you deserved it (2791)

On 07/15/2013 at 12:23am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, on my last break, a lady comes up to me and asks if she could have a hug because I reminded her of her daughter that died in a car accident 3 years before. Touched, I called my mom to let her know that I loved her. Before I could tell her, she said it was probably a scam and hung up on me. FML

Today, my wife told me that the only reason she gets it on with me is for the extra calorie burn. FML

#5702503
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19639) - you deserved it (2790)

On 10/07/2009 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by fatnick (man) - United States (California)

Today, I noticed that my wife changed her status on Facebook to "widow" and a lot of strange guys commented saying stuff like "Finally." Last I checked, I'm not dead. FML

#13352571
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41205) - you deserved it (2790)

On 10/07/2010 at 6:10am - love - by Alex - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had such a violent coughing fit that my stomach emptied itself all over the floor while at my sales job. FML

#15500531
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26875) - you deserved it (2790)

On 03/26/2011 at 4:54pm - work - by burntloyalty - United States

Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML

#18038155
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24306) - you deserved it (2790)

On 10/21/2011 at 11:35am - animals - by Mr.P - United States (Minnesota)

Today, the company I was fired from three years ago merged with the company I work at now. The new owners' first order of business was to fire me again. FML

#20508810
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42578) - you deserved it (2790) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/15/2013 at 8:37pm - work - by Nico - Sent from mobile version

Today, it hit me that my dad didn't cry when I moved out, he did so only when I came back later to pick up my cat. FML

#6761317
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24129) - you deserved it (2789)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:50am - animals - by number2 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was approached by a police officer who instructed me to move because I was "threatening the elderly". I was sitting on a park bench in front of an old folks home. FML

#16675458
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28184) - you deserved it (2789)

On 06/15/2011 at 10:23am - misc - by random - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a new client on my massage list. Two of my fingers got stuck in the thick coat of hair covering his back. I had to stop myself from making grunting noises whilst extricating them. FML

#20914768
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36562) - you deserved it (2789)

On 10/10/2013 at 1:25am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

#21247229
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37939) - you deserved it (2789)

On 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm - love - by wowzer (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I found out that my father, who is divorced from my mother, has set up a lawsuit against her and that I am required to go to court and testify against her as a witness. I've tried to keep neutral for six years, and I'll go to jail if I don't show up. FML

#3544767
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64505) - you deserved it (2788)

On 07/07/2009 at 1:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was at the store when I saw that a cart in the checkout line next to me was starting to roll away and the owner hadn't noticed. I tried to help by reaching out to stop the cart from moving, but when the owner saw me with the cart, she began to hit me for trying to steal her purse. FML

#4481809
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37437) - you deserved it (2788)

On 08/12/2009 at 6:43pm - misc - by NoticeTheLackOfNumbers (woman) - United States (Florida)



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  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

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