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Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41411) - you deserved it (3203)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML

#17508595
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40309) - you deserved it (3203)

On 08/18/2011 at 9:38am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bexley)

Today, my husband and I went to my overbearing mom's 57th birthday party. He opened his gift in front of her and said smugly, "The makeup's for your face, and the prayer book's for the fat rolls." Any hope of family peace is now lost. FML

#18414489
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21863) - you deserved it (3203)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:35pm - love - by bad blood, no shit (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it was my birthday. I spent all day in bed, sick with the flu. My boyfriend then broke up with me by text, because he didn't want to risk getting sick by doing it in person. FML

#20838443
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53036) - you deserved it (3203)

On 08/15/2013 at 7:28am - love - by Rachel8896 - United States (Washington)

Today, it's the first day of fall. It's also the day that over 20 people have made jokes about my name being "Autumn" like they're the funniest, most original people alive. It's not even 8 am. This is going to be a long day. FML

#21263689
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33149) - you deserved it (3203)

On 09/23/2014 at 8:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML

#4293059
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48068) - you deserved it (3202)

On 08/04/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by andi0804 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw photos of my boyfriend at his 25th birthday party. The one he told me was cancelled. FML

#5659886
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41653) - you deserved it (3202)

On 10/05/2009 at 9:55am - love - by Konstantine (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML

#6952293
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18037) - you deserved it (3202)

On 12/26/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I lost my virginity to my long time boyfriend and found out I'm severely allergic to latex. I also found out that my family doctor had been transferred to the ER. He went to play golf with my dad later. FML

#7257583
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20286) - you deserved it (3202)

On 01/10/2010 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by Foxy (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML

#13300598
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23977) - you deserved it (3202)

On 10/03/2010 at 5:35am - animals - by andrea99 - United States

Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was just wearing socks. FML

#16693416
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33080) - you deserved it (3202)

On 06/16/2011 at 10:24am - misc - by RedheadA (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML

#17652059
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30407) - you deserved it (3202)

On 09/03/2011 at 10:36am - kids - by abby181 - United States (Colorado)

Today, after a long therapy session, in which I poured out all my feelings of how happy and in love I am with whom I believe to be my soul-mate, my shrink asked me if I was sure this guy wasn't a figment of my imagination. FML

#18576133
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25294) - you deserved it (3202)

On 12/22/2011 at 12:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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