Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML

#20012686
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22574) - you deserved it (2894)

On 08/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by banana2894 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boss and I had to come up with a code to call if a person acts inappropriately towards me because I "attract too many weirdos." FML

#20529995
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28132) - you deserved it (2894)

On 03/03/2013 at 8:17pm - work - by smokeysarah94 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister announced her pregnancy at my husband's funeral. FML

#20782670
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58579) - you deserved it (2894)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by thatsfine (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my girlfriend of two years dumped me, because I'd changed too much for her to bear, and I was breaking her heart. How did I change? I got braces. FML

#13713440
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32435) - you deserved it (2893)

On 11/04/2010 at 11:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my car got acquainted with about 3 dozen eggs. FML

#17924502
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21606) - you deserved it (2893)

On 10/06/2011 at 11:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom, who is relatively new to Facebook, posted on her friend's wall, telling her about her recent diagnosis of vaginal thrush. She assumed that her wall post was private. Six of my friends liked the post. FML

#18417580
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33030) - you deserved it (2893)

On 12/03/2011 at 6:23am - intimacy - by djkimmaz - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, an angry customer threw her sticky toffee pudding at the wall and pointed out that because it didn't stick, it was not really a "sticky" toffee pudding, and that she'd been mislead. FML

#21123022
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35395) - you deserved it (2893)

On 04/25/2014 at 9:21pm - work - by stickyservice (woman) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I was lying in bed minding my own business when my mom entered the room. I was proposed to a few weeks ago by my boyfriend, and my mom came in to tell me that my boyfriend's mom was on the phone. Turns out, he stole the engagement ring from her drawer. FML

#6517359
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34638) - you deserved it (2892)

On 11/29/2009 at 5:52pm - love - by violet (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was in a rush to get to the toilet, I went in and sat on the seat. Then I felt a stinging pain on my left bum cheek. I jumped up quickly to see a wasp splashing around in the bowl. It stung me, and now have a bum cheek twice its normal size, and pee all over my pants. FML

#7243511
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25829) - you deserved it (2892)

On 01/09/2010 at 8:23pm - animals - by targetlove (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I noticed that the walls of my apartment are ridiculously thin, when I heard my neighbor slowly walk up the stairs, slam the bathroom door, lift the toilet cover, take a pee and end with a nice "AAHH." FML

#13030985
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25287) - you deserved it (2892)

On 09/13/2010 at 2:49am - misc - by edwinduarte1 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I left hospital after a three-night stay. Whilst waiting for my taxi to arrive, my mother called me in hysterics wanting to know where I was, because the police had called her and told her I had gone missing. Turns out my doctor "forgot" to tell anyone that I was discharged. FML

Today, I was talking to the girl I've liked for 2 years. We were assigned partners for a History project so we were going to work on it at my house. When she asked me for directions, I told her I lived on Woodcock Road. She yelled slapped me and stormed off. I was serious. FML

#3894865
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50981) - you deserved it (2891)

On 07/20/2009 at 12:04am - love - by thicklysettled (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out my fiancé is in a long distance relationship with his ex. Not only do we live on the same island, he's also my neighbor and my co-worker. FML

#9134899
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24955) - you deserved it (2891)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:14pm - love - by KMAC (woman) - United States (Hawaii)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: