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Today, my girlfriend said that while she was playing volleyball, her whole life flashed before her eyes. According to her grandmother, my girlfriend is now psychic. She completely believes it. FML

#20574330
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29989) - you deserved it (3116)

On 04/04/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by CrazyBitch - United States (California)

Today, my car was broken into, on the same night I stayed up late researching how to install my new car alarm. FML

#20933464
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38449) - you deserved it (3116)

On 10/25/2013 at 1:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my neighbor came over and yelled at me for traumatizing her kids. What did I do? Nothing. Her kids entered my back yard, dug up my 1-month-dead hamster and freaked out. FML

#21084613
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45227) - you deserved it (3116)

On 03/12/2014 at 2:39am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I went with my girlfriend to her parents' house. They told me I smelled of cheap vodka. When I told them I worked in a bio lab and used ethanol a lot, they said I was too stupid to do anything like that. My girlfriend broke up with me because her parents think I'm a drunk. FML

#4479707
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61142) - you deserved it (3115)

On 08/12/2009 at 5:01pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I found out I have an incredible fear of butterflies. I discovered this after my mother took me to a butterfly sanctuary for some "mother-daughter bonding time." FML

#19748698
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18589) - you deserved it (3115)

On 06/07/2012 at 7:00am - animals - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I noticed my parents replaced my senior picture that hung on our livingroom wall with a painted one. Of our German Sheperd. FML

#2057571
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42786) - you deserved it (3114)

On 05/18/2009 at 7:20pm - misc - by trgtyo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML

#20484554
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31023) - you deserved it (3114)

On 01/29/2013 at 9:51am - health - by oh no (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML

#20785565
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46672) - you deserved it (3114)

On 07/16/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML

#20847854
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44264) - you deserved it (3114)

On 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm - work - by twatstick (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, as I was walking home, a car drove through a puddle and splashed me like in a cheesy movie. As if that wasn't annoying enough, the driver had to pull over because she was laughing too hard. FML

#20907968
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44143) - you deserved it (3114)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by CelibateHero (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went out to a bar with some of my friends. They're all in committed relationships, but every single one of them got hit on. I'm single, and yet again, nobody even said hi to me. FML

#21319659
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31997) - you deserved it (3114)

On 12/18/2014 at 10:34am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML

#14898622
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32877) - you deserved it (3113)

On 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I asked my husband if he knew what day it was. His answer was, "garbage day?" It's our six-year anniversary. FML

#19987123
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22783) - you deserved it (3113)

On 07/27/2012 at 10:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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